trying to figure out the opposite sex so difficult?! 
I would think by 40, I would have some kind of clue!
I would think by 40, I would have some kind of clue!
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Why is....
- Thread starter HopeFaithLove4u
- Start date
There are some good threads on this in the singles main group.
Short answer: Male and female minds work differently. Throw in variables for personality and life experiences and shazzam!
And "clear communication" might not cut it either because people do withhold info or outright lie at times.
Short answer: Male and female minds work differently. Throw in variables for personality and life experiences and shazzam!
And "clear communication" might not cut it either because people do withhold info or outright lie at times.
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dluvs2trvl
What You See Is What You Get!
I have no idea!!! I have 1 guy that I dated but he just wants to be friends...I have another guy that I'm friends with but would like to date but he just wants to be friends and then this morning I talked to a guy that I only want to be friends with but now he's decided that he can't be friends with and go do things with a woman unless he's romantically interested in hertrying to figure out the opposite sex so difficult?!
I would think by 40, I would have some kind of clue!
I swear I'm just going to crawl into a hole and not come out!
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GritsnGrace
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trying to figure out the opposite sex so difficult?!
I would think by 40, I would have some kind of clue!
I'm older that that, and I don't have a clue, either!
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Wouldn't 'life' be soooooooo much easier if there was just a manual to tell you to do 'this' but not 'that' and you will get this response and because women don't understand men and vice versa, 'this, this and this' will happen and the end result will be 'this'.
BUT, it gets worse when you are in a RL or married, because your feelings get even more 'entwinged' and then you start second guessing things even more, because you don't want to intentionally hurt the other partner! It's just a never ending process!!
BUT, it gets worse when you are in a RL or married, because your feelings get even more 'entwinged' and then you start second guessing things even more, because you don't want to intentionally hurt the other partner! It's just a never ending process!!
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There's not a whole lot of point in getting hung up in "analysis paralysis". Maybe there are some things we're just not going to figure out. You do the best you can with honest intentions and apologize later if necessary.
Hey, D, don't forget to take some DVDs, chips and salsa into that hole with you.
Hey, D, don't forget to take some DVDs, chips and salsa into that hole with you.
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So then why exactly do we want to be in a relationship?
Cuz we're tired of paying for hookers?
Oops, cat's outta the bag now.
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So then why exactly do we want to be in a relationship?
Well, that's the thing! Not sure if I want to be in a RL? Just would be nice to figure out how to 'read minds'.
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Cuz we're tired of paying for hookers?
Oops, I answered the same quote and looked over the response and saw this one and thought, "when did I type that?"
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dluvs2trvl
What You See Is What You Get!
Yep...I'm getting stuck in the "analysis paralysis" thing with my ex. What he says to be doesn't logically make sense and I'm trying to make it make sense....I just need to accept the fact that it doesn't and move on and let it go. He has his own issues to figure out and I can't do that for him. I want a relationship - the right relationship - so I need to move on (even though we've been broken up for over a year I've been stuck in my feelings for him) and let him go.
I don't like chips and salsa
but I'll take some m&m's in with me! I know I want to be in a relationship but I know I'll be ok if I'm not...but yeah the reading minds thing would make things a whole lot easier!!!Well, that's the thing! Not sure if I want to be in a RL? Just would be nice to figure out how to 'read minds'.
Cuz we're tired of paying for hookers?
LOL!Oops, I answered the same quote and looked over the response and saw this one and thought, "when did I type that?"
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Exactly. Why did my ex do and say what she did? I don't know. Maybe she doesn't know either. What difference does it make? Bottom line is I was not satisfied and it was time to leave the relationship.
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B
Bridgit
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That is why I'm not in a hurry to get married again. I'd rather stay single and have a peaceful life than get involved with the wrong guy and suffer. As I mentioned in an other post, if I am with a guy and notice some stuff about him that I can't live with, then I won't pursue the relationship. We'll stay friends and nothing more.
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memoriesbymichelle
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So then why exactly do we want to be in a relationship?
That's the question of the day for you D!
Let's all make a list of the "why's" that we want to b ein a relationship and analyze those instead of trying to figure out guys or women that don't make sense?
Sounds good anyway....
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J
Jenster
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I don't know why we are so different from each other. Perhaps if we were too similar, we'd think we don't need God!
What's clear to me is that, in the best relationship, both people acknowledge the validity of the other person's point of view, even if they don't understand it.
Once attitudes veer towards "I'm right, he/she's wrong," then fuhgeddaboudit.
What's clear to me is that, in the best relationship, both people acknowledge the validity of the other person's point of view, even if they don't understand it.
Once attitudes veer towards "I'm right, he/she's wrong," then fuhgeddaboudit.
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soccerdad66
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Well, it's the same for guys. Oh well...
I think, in some cases, things in the relationship change, so it changes the dynamic of the relationship, but we fail to account for that
I think, in some cases, things in the relationship change, so it changes the dynamic of the relationship, but we fail to account for that
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soccerdad66
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Things change and people change, and as you get to know each other better and all those things factor in.What do you mean? Could you explain that a little more?
Thanks
Like, you like someone and they like you, then you find out they are a raging alcoholic, and just got out of prison. Kind of extreme and obvious, but when things aren't so extreme, they are harder to see but still can effect the relationship.
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dluvs2trvl
What You See Is What You Get!
I understand that...I just wonder sometimes if people aren't looking for the perfect person. When things are "harder" to see is it because one person is picking at little things and is looking for a perfect person (which doesn't exist).
I am a bit frustrated with guys who seem to think that perfection is out there...and I'm sure that there are women like that as well. What happened to accepting someone for their faults and all? What happened to loving a person because of who they are, their character, their personality, their good qualities and accepting their faults?
I'm not talking about the extreme example you described because obviously those are HUGE red flags but I am talking about when 2 people have different political points of view or one person is into sports and the other is into movies....the parts of a relationship that need to be compromised on and worked through...instead it seems that men are looking for a woman who is into exactly everything they are into or is exaclty the perfect physical specimen or whatever....and again, I'm sure that there are women who are like that as well.
I guess I just feel like if the core values are there and you are attracted to the person - then why can't you work through the other things? Maybe I'm just naive *shrugs*
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ido
Adios
D - I don't think that you're naive. But, I do think that if we are continuously meeting the wrong people, it has something to do with the choices we make in the people we are attracted to on some level. I don't think that's it 100%, but I think if we can figure out a common denomenator amongst the people we choose for mates, then we can begin to understand what changes we might need to make in why we choose who we choose.
Does that make sense?
Does that make sense?
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