Hi everyone, I'm new here and not really "parenting" yet per se but we are expecting our first little one in January....
I think Bill Cosby said it best when he described how "educated people go to class [or read books] to learn how people do things naturally..."
that's where I'm at. I'm reading and reading and reading everything I can get my hands on to see all of the different parenting types out there so I can be well educated on how to parent my child. I don't want to just lean on what I've been shown by my parents (not that they didn't raise a well-adjusted adult).
The more I read I see that for everything parenting and pregnancy related there are STRICT lines drawn. For instance:
breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding
breastfeeding vs. formula feeding
breastfeeding on demand vs. scheduled breastfeeding
cloth diapers vs. disposable diapers
spanking vs. no spanking
stay-at-home mom vs. working moms
natural birth vs. hospital birth
circumcision vs. no circumcision
and the list goes on....
I see my wife who is still dealing with nausea and sickness and everybody and their brother has a stance they've taken on these issues and more. She hasn't signed on for either side or if she has then she's got to defend herself against some breastfeeding nazi or some other issue nazi who is convinced that there is only ONE way to raise a child.
One individual we know came over to our house, found out we were pregnant and subscribed us to a magazine, which essentially has become her "bible" for raising kids (it's "mothering natural family living" in case you were wondering).
I'm going to say this as PC as I can- this magazine is for idiots. To give you some background- I'm all for the natural health movement and am "Mr. Outdoors/Environment" but this magazine is obviously marketed for people who are incapable of doing research, investigating things before doing them and forming their own opinions. It essentially tells you "raise your kid like this or you are a bad mother" which is of course what every new mother needs to hear.
What I don't understand is why, ESPECIALLY as Christians, we can't:
1.) Do our research
2.) Pray about our decision
3.) Support others in their decisions (regardless of if they agree with ours or not)
I have a friend of mine who reasons with her 1 y.o. and has long conversations whenever he punches his sister. In my opinion, the kid doesn't get it because he immediately goes back and punches his sister again. However, I 100% support their decision to raise their child this way. It may work for them, who am I to judge?
Personally, I want to have a lot of education on different ways to raise children so I can pull ideas from all of them. I feel that I will probably raise each of my children differently, catered to fit their needs. I'm not "pro spanking" and am planning on spanking all my children, but it is one way to deter certain behaviors- it may work for one child and not for another.
I'm a pro-breastfeeding guy too! (we're all boob guys, right?) but even though we're talking about breastfeeding, it's not really good enough- are you going to pump? Are you going to schedule? If you pump are you going to use glass or plastic bottles? Are you going to use a cover? Are you going to on-demand feed? Are you going to wean your child off after a certain amount of time or are you going to allow them to breastfeed until they "self wean" (btw our friend blames her unruly child on the fact that he "weaned himself too early"- either you believe that a child will wean itself naturally at the appropriate time or not- you can't say they will and then say they did it too early!) It's like you are 100% all for a woman ripping her shirt off and flopping her boob into her child's mouth anywhere she wants or you are a formula-feeding neglectful parent who beats their children.
Isn't all this undo pressure something we can do without? Do we have to convince others to believe with what we do? Can't we just educate them and respect the fact that God blessed them with a child and will see them through? Isn't there more than one way to raise a child?
Oh, and PLEASE spare me and every other reader of this thread- don't go Google statistics that support your cause and post them here- for most of the cases listed above there are statistics supporting either side and both sides point to the inaccuracies of the other side's statistics.
I think Bill Cosby said it best when he described how "educated people go to class [or read books] to learn how people do things naturally..."
that's where I'm at. I'm reading and reading and reading everything I can get my hands on to see all of the different parenting types out there so I can be well educated on how to parent my child. I don't want to just lean on what I've been shown by my parents (not that they didn't raise a well-adjusted adult).
The more I read I see that for everything parenting and pregnancy related there are STRICT lines drawn. For instance:
breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding
breastfeeding vs. formula feeding
breastfeeding on demand vs. scheduled breastfeeding
cloth diapers vs. disposable diapers
spanking vs. no spanking
stay-at-home mom vs. working moms
natural birth vs. hospital birth
circumcision vs. no circumcision
and the list goes on....
I see my wife who is still dealing with nausea and sickness and everybody and their brother has a stance they've taken on these issues and more. She hasn't signed on for either side or if she has then she's got to defend herself against some breastfeeding nazi or some other issue nazi who is convinced that there is only ONE way to raise a child.
One individual we know came over to our house, found out we were pregnant and subscribed us to a magazine, which essentially has become her "bible" for raising kids (it's "mothering natural family living" in case you were wondering).
I'm going to say this as PC as I can- this magazine is for idiots. To give you some background- I'm all for the natural health movement and am "Mr. Outdoors/Environment" but this magazine is obviously marketed for people who are incapable of doing research, investigating things before doing them and forming their own opinions. It essentially tells you "raise your kid like this or you are a bad mother" which is of course what every new mother needs to hear.
What I don't understand is why, ESPECIALLY as Christians, we can't:
1.) Do our research
2.) Pray about our decision
3.) Support others in their decisions (regardless of if they agree with ours or not)
I have a friend of mine who reasons with her 1 y.o. and has long conversations whenever he punches his sister. In my opinion, the kid doesn't get it because he immediately goes back and punches his sister again. However, I 100% support their decision to raise their child this way. It may work for them, who am I to judge?
Personally, I want to have a lot of education on different ways to raise children so I can pull ideas from all of them. I feel that I will probably raise each of my children differently, catered to fit their needs. I'm not "pro spanking" and am planning on spanking all my children, but it is one way to deter certain behaviors- it may work for one child and not for another.
I'm a pro-breastfeeding guy too! (we're all boob guys, right?) but even though we're talking about breastfeeding, it's not really good enough- are you going to pump? Are you going to schedule? If you pump are you going to use glass or plastic bottles? Are you going to use a cover? Are you going to on-demand feed? Are you going to wean your child off after a certain amount of time or are you going to allow them to breastfeed until they "self wean" (btw our friend blames her unruly child on the fact that he "weaned himself too early"- either you believe that a child will wean itself naturally at the appropriate time or not- you can't say they will and then say they did it too early!) It's like you are 100% all for a woman ripping her shirt off and flopping her boob into her child's mouth anywhere she wants or you are a formula-feeding neglectful parent who beats their children.
Isn't all this undo pressure something we can do without? Do we have to convince others to believe with what we do? Can't we just educate them and respect the fact that God blessed them with a child and will see them through? Isn't there more than one way to raise a child?
Oh, and PLEASE spare me and every other reader of this thread- don't go Google statistics that support your cause and post them here- for most of the cases listed above there are statistics supporting either side and both sides point to the inaccuracies of the other side's statistics.
and 
your post gave me such a giggle!
