Why is it so hard to start and maintain Small Groups?

[armsofmorpheus]

In the midst of a hectic lifestyle which includes the work week and family obligations, I find it darn near impossible to create a group that will be of any significance, both theologically and relationally. Without getting into too much detail, I would like to know...has anyone encountered this dilemma? How did you deal with it? What did you find to work?

Thanks.

 

[seeingeyes]

What have your attempts looked like?

 

[Follower3]

Define small group please.
I find a group smaller than 4 a bit awkward, and by group I assume you are talking about bible study group?
Maybe strive for a bigger group? The more there are the more you will have to hold it together, and make sure the group perseveres.
Do you have sign up sheets and stuff at your church?
Ask the pastor to announce your group, and ask people to join.

Dunno if I helped ={

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

You talk about being busy, is the reason your small group hasn't flourished because you don't have enough time and effort to put into it? If you're the leader and this is the case either you need to drop something that isn't important in your life to make time, or if it is all important then maybe you aren't ready to create and lead a group yet. Being a leader in anything from small groups to Pastoring a church is a big responsibility, both physically and spiritually.
There should be a focus for the group first of all such as "Bible Study", "Prayer Group" etc. with an age group in mind ie. "Youth Group" for High School students or "College Group" etc. From past experiences of being a member of multiple small groups (like 5-15 people) I find it a turn off when there is more emphasis on something other than Jesus or the Bible such as trivial things like the name of the group or the method of how to study, or going off on tangents that have nothing to do with the focus.
Small groups should have an agenda but have enough freedom and air to breathe to allow people to go on tangents that have to do with the topic, and it is the leaders job to knit it all together and make sure the conversation doesn't stray too far off topic.

Now this applies to anyone whether a leader or not in a small group setting:

SPIRITUAL WARFARE!
You might not realize it but a lot of things that may be causing a group to fall apart are a direct result of spiritual warfare. For example: You might notice that maybe the message itself is a little shallow and doesn't seem to have been prepared too well for the group, this would be a direct result of the leader being attacked with things like laziness, distractions, or even sin in their life. I'm not going to go into too much detail but I really hope we all know that sin can cause a foothold for the Enemy to work in that person's life. Now other things could take place like the conversation is straying off topic or maybe people aren't taking the message seriously, this would either be a result of the members of the group being attacked or being used by the enemy to distract others from the main message that God has placed upon the leaders heart. Other things like attendance could be a result of spiritual warfare, things might "come up" for other members or may seem "really important", anything to keep people from actually going to group is a big one and the Enemy loves to do this.

Honestly I could go on and on, I am a college student that has been to groups in Campus Crusade (aka CRU), Intervarsity (IV), I have helped lead and have lead my own groups, and I am currently in an 18-30 year old group at my church.

Spiritual Warfare can be a stumbling block, but when we ask God for help and ask Jesus to guide and take care of whatever is in the way and to show us what to pray for, you begin to see another work take place which is Strong Fellowship, Blessings among members, Answered prayers among members and encouragement! Remember we are to bear each other's burdens and pray for each other:
Galations 5:16 "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."
James 5:16 "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."

It really is amazing to step back and see God do great works among you and those around you as He answers prayers and draws you closer to Him!

 

[RDKirk]

We are in a very effective small group for the first time. At the moment, the major problem we're having--and our pastoral staff does consider it a problem--is that we're getting too large as a "small group."

We're mostly married couples, but with a few singles, ranging in ages from early 20s to the 70s. I think the biggest factor of our success is that the members also meet as male and female subgroups. It's in the single gender subgroups that we do the most personal sharing, with the combined main group being more bible study. It seems to be very hard for really personal burden-sharing to happen in the mixed groups unless it begins in the single-gender group.

Once the husband or wife opens up on a subject, it becomes sharable in the mixed main group...although whether it's shared in the mixed main group is up to that person--our basic rule is always "what is said here, stays here" with some exceptions for grievous issues that are harmful to the Body. What happens is that person who shared in the single-gender group will be able to bring it up in the next or a subsequent mixed group.

I think our single-gender subgroups are what make the whole thing click. The main group meets weekly, the sub groups twice monthly. They aren't always "heavy." We guys usually grill or otherwise have "man food," do some small talk, fellowship sometimes not going farther than that. But sometimes we get serious. Interestingly, there are few issues we don't already share to some extent. It's usually, "I'm glad you said that...me too." The relationships between young and old have become very firm.

 

[1watchman]

Maybe, try finding a small group that is already established, but be sure it is truly scriptural and not just a forum for some personal doctrines.

 

[clark thompson]

In the midst of a hectic lifestyle which includes the work week and family obligations, I find it darn near impossible to create a group that will be of any significance, both theologically and relationally. Without getting into too much detail, I would like to know...has anyone encountered this dilemma? How did you deal with it? What did you find to work?

Thanks.

I have had this same trouble with a service we open for the community on Fridays which we do not do anymore and had trouble aslo with a study group that meets during the week and a bible study I lead on Sunday's both of witch have 2 people commited to it besides me. If find out the trick to grow a small group let me know. There comes a point you just work with the people who are coming.

 

[findmydream]

What my church does is follow the school year for when groups run. This allows for the fact that a lot of people take holidays in the summer and also allows for a break from running and participating in groups. Most years, it is pretty much the same people who run the groups and they are focussed on certain things, such as family groups that allow for participation by the whole family at every gathering, or mens groups, or womens groups etc. Some have a focus on prayer, study, sharing or just fellowship. The group that I am in this year is on Joy. Biblical based views on joy and also sharing and experiencing gratitude for things in our lives. Some groups involve a potluck meal (come on, we're Mennonite!), then discussion. I've been in groups that were based on books such as "The Purpose Driven Life" or magazin articles in the Canadian Mennonite. The ones I have been in have been fairly structured, but allowed for change if discussion was needed on a particular topic or if someone was struggling with something. I have never led a group, so I can't really speak from that point of view. The groups I have been in have been around 12-16 people (6-8 couples, not including children). If younger children have been involved, either the old ones would care for them or we would get a teen in (for pay) to watch the children while the adults have their discussions.

I hope this information helps!

 

[dennydenco]

We tried the following model and it's worked extremely well for over a year:

1. Meet every two weeks (we meet on Fri evening as it was best for all)
2. Theme dinner (potluck). This has been wildly successful. We keep it easy. Themes have been - breakfast, picnic, bbq, Mexican food, beans night, midnite snack (that was weird and fun) and the most recent was "Truck-stop Food". Keeping a fun aspect to the food has made folks more open in discussion time as their more relaxed.
3. Good discussion material. We did a video series about "when things don't work out". We've also had discussion from scripture, personal ministry time, etc.
4. "Safe Rule" for discussion. What is said in the room stays there. This has been a good rule as people got closer and shared more intimately.
5. Good hosting: People need to feel welcome and loved. Home doesn't have to be elegant or beautiful as long as people know they're sincerely loved. Our home is 'not new', but the folks feel welcome.

I'm in no way an expert at all. This model just happen to work out great for us. Actual mileage might vary.