Why is it hard making friends?

[Macchiato]

At work im really friendly i greet people in the morning and start convos amd stuff but it never goes anywhere.

I feel im doing my part and i can read people well enough to know when to scale back bc some folks just arent interested and I get that.

I just wonder like if. Im being open and inviting--

Why isnt it working?

 

[A_Thinker]

At work im really friendly i greet people in the morning and start convos and stuff but it never goes anywhere.

I feel im doing my part and i can read people well enough to know when to scale back bc some folks just aren't interested and I get that.

I just wonder like if. I'm being open and inviting--

Why isnt it working?

Nobody in the office is interested in your friendliness ... for some (unknown) reason ? Perhaps management frowns upon employees socializing ... or work pressures are such that individuals feel that they don't have time for work friendships. Sometimes there is an element of competition.

I recall a work situation where I was part of a fairly friendly work-team. We all got along good. Then management announced that they were comparing employees against each other. From that point on, ... any relating was strained between us. It took me a while to understand what had happened.

Work friendships are fickle. Sometimes you find them, sometimes you don't.

It is a much more successful strategy to seek friendships amongst people who SHARE interests with you. Perhaps you could involve yourself in a club or association that appeals to you. There you would, likely, find like-minded individuals to bond with.

 

[com7fy8]

And you identify as Christian. Ones at work might not be Christians. It can be as simple as this having something to do with it. I would say you are wise to sense people out and that is all you need to know.

I live where people around me do not connect for long with me. But I keep investing in prayer, being still and submitting to God and preparing for real relating the way God's word says to relate. Then I am ready for love.

And God's word says God will do what He is committed to doing with us. If He has me preparing for real and family relating in Jesus with people, this will not be in vain.

And His word gives us, I believe, things for how to relate. So, if you like, I can share with you some of the scriptures I have found beneficial. But, actually, any scripture is God's word . . . alive . . . coming from His heart of love, so any scripture can somehow help us find out how to love. And then God will make the way, right?

 

[bèlla]

Macchiato,

Work relationships may be impacted by policy or personal convictions. I was friendly but never developed connections with co-workers beyond the job. In college I participated in a program for students. We worked in different departments and usually ate together. I exchanged calls with someone when I no longer worked there. Not beforehand.

The same holds true where I live. I’m courteous but my BFF isn’t my next door neighbor. I don’t limit myself to proximity or force the issue. I nurture relationships with likeminded people who desire the same. Common interests are usually the starting point.

All of my friends and associates are believers. But only one attended the same church. The remainder I met through business pursuits and private memberships. The Lord led me to them all.

Keep in mind, you’re talking about the workplace. The majority limit what they share until they know the person is trustworthy. That usually involves a lot of engagement outside the job.

You may have better success pursuing interests and connecting with others in that setting. Women’s and mom’s ministries are also an option.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

 

[Monksailor]

1) If they know you are a Christian and they are not, Christ assures that they will hate you however subtle Jn 15: 18-21 NIV ""“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master. If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the one who sent me.",
2) Even the Bible informs us NOT to exercise trust in man and we are told that Jesus "knowing the heart of man" did not trust man and In Jeremiah God informs us that the human heart is deceitful and corrupt above all things and INCURABLE. Jer 17:9; Jn 2: 24-25; and 9 Bible verses about Trusting In Man, Warnings Against

Try not to be bothered by all of those deceived people on social networks who claim to have hundreds of "friends." Jesus tells us that a true friend is closer than a brother. How can someone you have NEVER met in person be closer than a brother???

REAL friends are very rare in life. Some think that they can believe that there are "different" levels or "types" of friends but I and many contest that there one is either a REAL friend or NOT. Others are merely associates whom we may trust out of occupational requirements or relational necessity in exclusive areas or whatever but NOT really friends whom we feel comfortable and safe in always being open and honest with about any and everything at any time and someone we can trust to ALWAYS be at our side and to stand back to back against ANY attack. Those people, friends, are rare. Jesus IS ALWAYS our real friend, always. We can always trust Him and He is always there more than any spouse or parent or lover could ever be. Try to rest in and live in that and be to those in the work place as He would have you be, WITHOUT expecting anything in return. That is what REAL love is, right? Read I Cor 13 known as the "Love Chapter" of the Bible for God's definition of true love. Expecting nothing in return is there. Try to be content with God's love after all that IS what saved you from eternal damnation and has given you the promise of eternity in joyful heaven and has promised NEVER to leave or forsake you here in the world of men.

 

[Macchiato]

Macchiato,

Work relationships may be impacted by policy or personal convictions. I was friendly but never developed connections with co-workers beyond the job. In college I participated in a program for students. We worked in different departments and usually ate together. I exchanged calls with someone when I no longer worked there. Not beforehand.

The same holds true where I live. I’m courteous but my BFF isn’t my next door neighbor. I don’t limit myself to proximity or force the issue. I nurture relationships with likeminded people who desire the same. Common interests are usually the starting point.

All of my friends and associates are believers. But only one attended the same church. The remainder I met through business pursuits and private memberships. The Lord led me to them all.

Keep in mind, you’re talking about the workplace. The majority limit what they share until they know the person is trustworthy. That usually involves a lot of engagement outside the job.

You may have better success pursuing interests and connecting with others in that setting. Women’s and mom’s ministries are also an option.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

Thats the thing i pray for friends but im not led to anyone i prayed for years and at work its not about policy bc they talk and mingle with others.

 

[bèlla]

Thats the thing i pray for friends but im not led to anyone i prayed for years and at work its not about policy bc they talk and mingle with others.

Macchiato,

Some times the Lord hastens movement for reasons we cannot grasp which make sense later on. For instance, I’ve participated in chat rooms, mailing lists, and forums over the years. I developed connections which originated on the Internet and moved beyond this space. I met my best friend online 18 years ago.

But I didn’t experience the same on CF. I thought I would but God had something else in mind. I drafted a request on October 25, 2018 seeking 9 intentional connections. I wrote it out and prayed over it for awhile. I joined the site the following year.

I forgot about the request but He didn’t. I opened it up to recollect what I wrote for my response. Seven of the nine have been fulfilled. All of it relates to my calling. Most of the companions I desired were purpose driven or entrepreneurs.

This isn’t the ideal venue for those discussions. They’re held in private settings or paid memberships. I have both. Most of the conversations here center on faith and politics. I have no one who shares my passion for fashion, decor, or cooking to a great degree. Threads pop up now and then but they’re not a constant. I’d need to look elsewhere. He did on my behalf.

While its possible to encounter people in different places I’ve found greater engagement in services I’ve paid for. The participants are more involved and committed. For example, if knitting was my thing and I wanted to build friendships with other knitters I would find a community with a paid membership and join. Free options are a mixed bag.

You’re planning to attend school and find another job. Maybe you’ll have better success in the new place. But sharing that with your coworkers might create a different atmosphere. Especially if they’re stuck in a dead end job.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

 

[SANTOSO]

Have you considered Jesus your friend ?
Have you talked him today ?

 

[Jude1:3Contendforthefaith]

At work im really friendly i greet people in the morning and start convos amd stuff but it never goes anywhere.

I feel im doing my part and i can read people well enough to know when to scale back bc some folks just arent interested and I get that.

I just wonder like if. Im being open and inviting--

Why isnt it working?

Most people are not even worth being friends with anyways.

It get's old and is very disappointing trying to hang out with people and be friends with people who don't put in the same effort or care about the friendship.

I stopped even trying years ago.


.

 

[Macchiato]

Most people are not even worth being friends with anyways.

It get's old and is very disappointing trying to hang out with people and be friends with people who don't put in the same effort or care about the friendship.

I stopped even trying years ago.


.

Yeah i keep greeting people and half the time theu just dont do it back so I just stopped. It gets old. Im done.