Why is divorce sanctioned by Christianity?

[TheManeki]

Something I don't get is why is divorce sanctioned by Christianity. I'm not saying I condemn it -- divorce got my mother out of an abusive marriage. But I'm wondering why divorce and remarriage of divorcees is okay, while same-sex marriages aren't.

[BIBLE]Matthew 5:31-32[/BIBLE]
[bible]Matthew 19:9[/bible]
[bible]Mark 10:11-12[/bible]
[BIBLE]Luke 16:18[/BIBLE]

Basically, Jesus says that anyone who divorces (except for reasons of infidelity) and then remarries commits adultery. So why do churches allow divorced people to be married (and take leadership roles) in the church?

More importantly, why do churches not condemn people who are divorced and remarry? According to Jesus, these people are living a sinful adulterous lifestyle. And they're obviously unrepentant for their sin, because they continue their lifestyle. Sure, they may say they're in a loving relationship, but we really know it's just animal lust.

Seems like a double standard here.

 

[just human]

This is something which is not allowed amoungst Jehovah's Witnesses. If a JW leaves a mate for any reason other than fornication they aren't allowed to remarry under God's Law. There is allowance for leaving a mate for abuse but then one must remain single unless thier marriage mate commits fornication somewhere along the line. JW's strive to follow God's Law in all things.

just human

 

[m9lc]

Wow, I've never heard this. I'd like to see the response to this, since they can't use their usual "OT laws don't apply" cop-out.

Something tells me that there will be no response to it.

 

[ebia]

Something I don't get is why is divorce sanctioned by Christianity. I'm not saying I condemn it -- divorce got my mother out of an abusive marriage. But I'm wondering why divorce and remarriage of divorcees is okay, while same-sex marriages aren't.

[bible]Matthew 5:31-32[/bible]
[bible]Matthew 19:9[/bible]
[bible]Mark 10:11-12[/bible]
[bible]Luke 16:18[/bible]

Basically, Jesus says that anyone who divorces (except for reasons of infidelity) and then remarries commits adultery. So why do churches allow divorced people to be married (and take leadership roles) in the church?

More importantly, why do churches not condemn people who are divorced and remarry? According to Jesus, these people are living a sinful adulterous lifestyle. And they're obviously unrepentant for their sin, because they continue their lifestyle. Sure, they may say they're in a loving relationship, but we really know it's just animal lust.

Seems like a double standard here.

The Roman Catholic Church still does disallow remarrage.

Much of the Anglican Chuch did until relatively recently, and still restricts it (some ministers won't remarry people, in many provinces the bishop's permission is required, etc), but no longer excludes it outright for pastoral reasons.

In my opinion, much of the church (including my own denomination) is inconsistant on this issue at the current time. Most of us are moving from a more strict "Law" type approach to stuff, to a more pastorially sensitive, mercy based, approach, but (sadly) not all issues get addressed at the same speed.

 

[Silent Enigma]

It'd be way too difficult for churches to be strict on this, considering 1/2 of all marriages end in divorce.

 

[Renton405]

Yea the RCC is the only church that has really stood by this.. The only way you could get seperated is if the marriage wasn't deemed valid in the first place... The RCC won't marry a couple if they've been previously divorced..

What God has put together let no man put asunder..

People who divorce and re-marry are considered adulterers . Jesus was very clear about re-marriage(except for the case of unchasity)

 

[Lynden1000]

Jesus' prohibition against divorce is tossed out because Christians, with the exception of the RCC, have decided that his teachings should take a back seat to current social custom.

God always seems to agree with whatever the Christian thinks is right or wrong to begin with. If the Christian thinks divorce, while "not a good idea," should still be allowed, then *surely* Jesus must feel the same way, no matter what he stated.

 

[Foolish_Fool]

When you look at it historically, it's a fairly recent developement, primarily started by the protestant reformation. Heck, all of England broke away from Rome and founded their own church so one man could "legitimately" remarry on a whim.

PS: The Tudors is an awesome series on Showtime. A great historical example of why religion and government are a dangerous mixture. Granted they did take some liberties with history, mainly on the personal subjects.

 

[m9lc]

It'd be way too difficult for churches to be strict on this, considering 1/2 of all marriages end in divorce.

But remarriage can be prohibited.

 

[ebia]

But remarriage can be prohibited.

Well, you can stop them remarrying in church. That doesn't necessarly stop them getting married elsewhere.

The church's job isn't to punish people, but to recognise that we all fall short of perfection yet God accepts us anyway. To encourage us towards holiness while helping us where we actually are.

Jesus' prohibition against divorce is tossed out because Christians, with the exception of the RCC, have decided that his teachings should take a back seat to current social custom.

God always seems to agree with whatever the Christian thinks is right or wrong to begin with. If the Christian thinks divorce, while "not a good idea," should still be allowed, then *surely* Jesus must feel the same way, no matter what he stated.

You seem to be under the misapprehension that the church's job is to enforce a set of rules layed down by Jesus.

 

[Robinsegg]

There's more than one issue here (even supposing adultery is not in the picture):
1. The mandate to remain married.
2. Was the person remarrying a Christian at the time of the divorce? If not, one can hardly hold a nonChristian to Christian standards/expectations.
3. A desire to show love and forgiveness rather than legalism (being very strict to the law).
4. No fault divorce . . . how can a person be blamed for the spouse leaving, when he/she tried to keep the spouse in the marriage, but got nowhere?
Thus, a sin committed before conversion is not held against one. That's not to say that Christ's words have no meaning or relevance. But someone does not disobey a law they were unaware of.

Also, there's the question . . . was the divorce caused by adultery? Was the adultery by the other party? If the answer to these is yes, it is within the biblical mandate.

Rachel
Also, while Christians are told to remain married, they are also told to allow an unbelieving spouse who wishes not to stay in the marriage to leave.

 

[IronManMatt]

Basically, Jesus says that anyone who divorces (except for reasons of infidelity) and then remarries commits adultery. So why do churches allow divorced people to be married (and take leadership roles) in the church?

Jesus can forgive all sins. If someone was divorced, then they repented we should also forgive them. Just as if someone was gay and then repented then Jesus will forgive and everyone else should also. I don’t think either group, divorcees or ex-gays should be in leadership positions until they fully prove to the Church that there ways have changed for good. If someone was gay but repented and wanted to marry a member of the opposite sex I think the church should support it. Also its not about whether or not the church allows something its whether or not God allows it. Does God allow people to be gay, no, does he allow people to divorce, no, does Jesus have the power to forgive all sins, YES!!!

 

[TheManeki]

Jesus can forgive all sins. If someone was divorced, then they repented we should also forgive them. Just as if someone was gay and then repented then Jesus will forgive and everyone else should also. I don’t think either group, divorcees or ex-gays should be in leadership positions until they fully prove to the Church that there ways have changed for good. If someone was gay but repented and wanted to marry a member of the opposite sex I think the church should support it. Also its not about whether or not the church allows something its whether or not God allows it. Does God allow people to be gay, no, does he allow people to divorce, no, does Jesus have the power to forgive all sins, YES!!!

How do you know that these divorced (for reasons other than infidelity) and remarried people are repentant? They are still living in their adulterous lifestyle. Do they have to swear to forgo any sexual contact and live in chastity?

How do we even know that the divorced and remarried people are marrying out of Christlike love? Following the logic directed towards homosexual marriage, it would seem that, because those who divorce (again, for reasons other than infidelity) and remarry are committing sin, the only thing involved is animal lust, not love.

I'm not seeing how there is a difference between a divorced (for reasons other than infidelity) man and woman and a married same-sex couple. If you believe the married same-sex couple is constantly living in sin, the divorced and remarried couple should be equally as guilty of living in constant sin for their relationship.

 

[Renton405]

Basically, Jesus says that anyone who divorces (except for reasons of infidelity) and then remarries commits adultery. So why do churches allow divorced people to be married (and take leadership roles) in the church?

because most churches that have happened after the reformation aren't true churches... Just like the Pope has claimed..

The view on marriage is one proof that most non catholic churches are false and conform doctrine to their lifestyle instead of Gods..

 

[ebia]

Basically, Jesus says that anyone who divorces (except for reasons of infidelity) and then remarries commits adultery. So why do churches allow divorced people to be married (and take leadership roles) in the church?

Jesus can forgive all sins. If someone was divorced, then they repented we should also forgive them. Just as if someone was gay and then repented then Jesus will forgive and everyone else should also. I don’t think either group, divorcees or ex-gays should be in leadership positions until they fully prove to the Church that there ways have changed for good. If someone was gay but repented and wanted to marry a member of the opposite sex I think the church should support it.

Aggh. No. The person can't stop being gay. What you would then have is a gay person living a lie, and (a fews year down the track) a broken marriage and badly hurt family.

 

[TheManeki]

Aggh. No. The person can't stop being gay. What you would then have is a gay person living a lie, and (a fews year down the track) a broken marriage and badly hurt family.

Right on. IronManMatt, you might as well say that a divorced (for reasons other than infidelity) and remarried couple should stop being in love with each other. After all, it's a choice, isn't it?

 

[cerad]

Yea the RCC is the only church that has really stood by this.. The only way you could get seperated is if the marriage wasn't deemed valid in the first place... The RCC won't marry a couple if they've been previously divorced..

Yep. Which is why the RCC has such a thriving business granting annulments. Doesn't matter how long you were married or how many kids you have, just send Rome a modest fee and the form will be in the mail. Pretty cool when you think about it.

 

[wanderingone]

because most churches that have happened after the reformation aren't true churches... Just like the Pope has claimed..

The view on marriage is one proof that most non catholic churches are false and conform doctrine to their lifestyle instead of Gods..

Oh please all you have to do to get married in the Catholic church after a divorce is get an annulment of your previous marriage, so everyone gets to pretend you were never "really" married. I've been pretty surprised at how easy it has been for people I know to get married after a divorce in the Catholic church.

 

[silentreader]

Something I don't get is why is divorce sanctioned by Christianity. I'm not saying I condemn it -- divorce got my mother out of an abusive marriage. But I'm wondering why divorce and remarriage of divorcees is okay, while same-sex marriages aren't.

[bible]Matthew 5:31-32[/bible]
[bible]Matthew 19:9[/bible]
[bible]Mark 10:11-12[/bible]
[bible]Luke 16:18[/bible]

Basically, Jesus says that anyone who divorces (except for reasons of infidelity) and then remarries commits adultery. So why do churches allow divorced people to be married (and take leadership roles) in the church?

More importantly, why do churches not condemn people who are divorced and remarry? According to Jesus, these people are living a sinful adulterous lifestyle. And they're obviously unrepentant for their sin, because they continue their lifestyle. Sure, they may say they're in a loving relationship, but we really know it's just animal lust.

Seems like a double standard here.

Why did you paint Christianity with such a broad brush. My church doesn't allow people to remarry if they didn't divorce under the correct reasons. there can be exceptions since the sin can be forgiven but the elders must try to understand the heart of the person and see if they are truly repentant. many people divorce before they become Christians so that is why the exceptions are made. God can forgive all sin if one is truly repentant. So why not gay marriage? Because they are not repentant.

 

[TheManeki]

Why did you paint Christianity with such a broad brush. My church doesn't allow people to remarry if they didn't divorce under the correct reasons. there can be exceptions since the sin can be forgiven but the elders must try to understand the heart of the person and see if they are truly repentant. many people divorce before they become Christians so that is why the exceptions are made. God can forgive all sin if one is truly repentant. So why not gay marriage? Because they are not repentant.

Like I asked you in another thread, how do you (or the elders) know they are repentant? Do they have to remain celibate for the rest of their marriage to prove they are repentant?

It sounds like a double standard vs. same-sex marriages. If you view a same sex marriage as continually living in sin, why isn't a divorced (for reasons other than adultery) and remarried couple treated the same way?