Why is dating so much about status

[Mark_CB]

As a guy, I find it annoying how much status comes into play dating.

Usually, one of the first things a woman asks me when I'm trying to dance with her at a venue is "what do you do?" Which is the same, essentially, as asking how much money you make.

I would like to find a woman who doesn't care so much about status. I know status is many things, and also involves looks, intelligence, where you live, your talents and other things. But the whole money status thing is annoying me!

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

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[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

It's an evolved primitive protective mechanism. It's hard wired in women. It's a lot simpler for a woman to look in a room and identify who is the alpha male and go with him, over choosing someone lower ranked but perhaps a better match. The only option you have is to raise your status. There is no other option. Either lower the smv of the women you like or raise your smv. Thats the only way.

 

[Niels]

If dating was all about status, there wouldn't be so many deadbeat boyfriends and husbands who outright refuse to look for work. There wouldn't be as many incarcerated criminals in relationships. Heck, there wouldn't be as many women date men in an effort to "rescue" or "save" men from themselves.

The emphasis on status makes sense intellectually, but the reality of it isn't so simple.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

If dating was all about status, there wouldn't be so many deadbeat boyfriends and husbands who outright refuse to look for work. There wouldn't be as many incarcerated criminals in relationships. Heck, there wouldn't be as many women date men in an effort to "rescue" or "save" men from themselves.

The emphasis on status makes sense intellectually, but the reality of it isn't so simple.

What type of smv do you think women who marry men locked up for life have? It's about status for women who have some type of smv.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

One more thing about status that should not be overlooked is it lets a woman know you have something to lose, which makes her more secure. As they say nothing is more dangerous than a man with nothing to lose.

 

[Mark_CB]

If dating was all about status, there wouldn't be so many deadbeat boyfriends and husbands who outright refuse to look for work. There wouldn't be as many incarcerated criminals in relationships. Heck, there wouldn't be as many women date men in an effort to "rescue" or "save" men from themselves.

The emphasis on status makes sense intellectually, but the reality of it isn't so simple.

Relative, not absolute status. For instance, people in X strata attracted to people in Y strata. That still leaves room for the "deadbeat" guys to get girlfriends and wives, so long as there's someone even poorer and lower on the social hierarchy than them.

As guy with a college degree, I find women without degrees seems to like me more. Women with college degrees are often going for guys with Master's, PhD's, JD's, Md's, XYZ's. (No lie, there's even a degree called an STD.)

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

@Mark_CB

I think what you need to focus on, isn't why can't things be different but ask yourself what can you do to get with the woman you want. A lot of people don't invest into personal development because they feel like if someone doesn't want to be with them as they are then they wouldn't want to be with them anyways. To me thats just an excuse not to put in the work to improve yourself.

 

[Mark_CB]

One more thing about status that should not be overlooked is it lets a woman know you have something to lose, which makes her more secure. As they say nothing is more dangerous than a man with nothing to lose.

Well I'm 28 and single. It's not like I've done no self improvement. I've moved a thousand plus miles away from home. Went through college. Learned various skills. Got my own place in life. Now started a business and seeking my fortune. So what? I see the path for me clearly.

I will not get married (by choice). People are too selfish. I still might have children but I'm not getting (legally) married. Just in my heart in the eyes of God.

 

[dreadnought]

As a guy, I find it annoying how much status comes into play dating.

Usually, one of the first things a woman asks me when I'm trying to dance with her at a venue is "what do you do?" Which is the same, essentially, as asking how much money you make.

I would like to find a woman who doesn't care so much about status. I know status is many things, and also involves looks, intelligence, where you live, your talents and other things. But the whole money status thing is annoying me!

I can sympathize with what you are saying, but asking you what you do would be a natural question, wouldn't it? She'll find out sooner or later, if you keep dating, I would think.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

Well I'm 28 and single. It's not like I've done no self improvement. I've moved a thousand plus miles away from home. Went through college. Learned various skills. Got my own place in life. Now started a business and seeking my fortune. So what? I see the path for me clearly.

I will not get married (by choice). People are too selfish. I still might have children but I'm not getting (legally) married. Just in my heart in the eyes of God.

Are you good at making a woman laugh? Also do you lift weights? If the answer to these questions is no, do those things and you have all you need.

 

[Mark_CB]

Are you good at making a woman laugh? Also do you lift weights? If the answer to these questions is no, do those things and you have all you need.

I can def make women laugh. I'm great at it. I'm 6'4 so perhaps my bicept leaves something to be desired. You seriously have to be hugely heavy to look built at my height. Thanks, maybe I'll try that.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

I can def make women laugh. I'm great at it. I'm 6'4 so perhaps my bicept leaves something to be desired. You seriously have to be hugely heavy to look built at my height. Thanks, maybe I'll try that.

Yeah it's something that I pretty much avoided my whole life, but sometimes you gotta just give em what they want lol. So I lift now.

 

[Citanul]

asking you what you do would be a natural question, wouldn't it?

That's how I see it, as pretty much a standard question to ask if you don't know anything about someone. It can then lead to follow-up questions such as "What does that involve?" or "How did you get into it?". So isn't it more likely to be a conversation starter than an attempt to find out how much money someone makes?

 

[Saucy]

I find it as a standard question, too. That's something you'd find out about someone early. What they do for work/career, etc. How they spend their free time, things they're interested. It's the basics. It might not have anything to do with status or money. In fact, if someone wasn't asking me questions like that, I'd assume they weren't interested.

Even if it was about status, I think people (women especially) find it important for very good reasons. I don't 'date'. I'm looking for a real relationship that will hopefully lead to marriage. I would think someone would ask me what I do for a living before considering a relationship with me.

 

[blackribbon]

As a guy, I find it annoying how much status comes into play dating.

Usually, one of the first things a woman asks me when I'm trying to dance with her at a venue is "what do you do?" Which is the same, essentially, as asking how much money you make.

I would like to find a woman who doesn't care so much about status. I know status is many things, and also involves looks, intelligence, where you live, your talents and other things. But the whole money status thing is annoying me!

I think it is a benign and appropriate first question. Many of us do gain part of our identity from our jobs or careers. It is asking something about another person and trying to learn about them. In college, we would ask "what is your major"? It gives something to ask more questions about to keep a conversation flowing. The truth is we were all students and there was no way to determine who would be successful regardless of their major.

What are the early questions that you ask a woman about herself? I would think that their job would also be appropriate...for the same reasons, It isn't about status but rather a safe conversation starter with a stranger.

 

[gennypearl]

What do you do is not the same as how much money you're making. Maybe the reason they're asking it is to know you're responsible enough to pay your own bills lol. It's not always about the money, money, money...

 

[RobertMerton]

Its always how its been and how it will be.

I work as a electrical fitter mechanic but if anyone asks me i just smile and say that im a professional bolt turner.

 

[Bass4Jesus]

I've heard women like mystery, so if one of them asks what you do, you could always pause for effect, quickly scan the room, then lean toward her and say in a low voice, "I'm sorry, but I really can't go into that at this particular time."

 

[MarkSB]

As others have said, they might just be asking you what you do as a conversation piece. If you think that it means they're trying to figure out how much money you make, you're making an assumption about their intentions. Your assumption could be right, or it could be wrong.