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Why I'm a Calvinist

StAnselm

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Discuss. :D

TEN REASONS WHY I AM A CALVINIST

1. Calvinists tend to wear wool and cotton. Dispensationalists tend to wear lime-green polyester leisure suits.

2. John Calvin was French...being French is very chic.

3. Calvin sounds like Calvin Klein...and his clothes are very chic.

4. Calvinists can drink.

5. Calvinists can smoke.

6. Dispensationalists are into prophecy conferences where they talk about Star-Trek eschatology and the mark of the Beast. Calvinists have conferences on "life and culture", art, social justice and other highbrow things like that. Afterwards, we go to the local pub and talk about philosophy over a pint of Bass ale.

7. Calvinists have close ties with Scotland and Scotland is very cool: you know --Sean Connery, the movie Highlander, Bagpipes, the Loch Ness Monster, Glenlivet 18 year old Scotch, the movie Trainspotting, etc.

8. Calvinists think we are smarter than anybody else.

9. It is more socially acceptable to say, "I go to Grace Presbyterian Church" than to say, "I go to Sonlife Charismatic Believers Assembly", or to say "I go to Boston Berean Bible Believing Baptist Bethel", or to say "I go to the Latter-Day-Rain Deliverance Tabernacle Prophecy Center, Inc.", or to say "I go to the Philadelphia Church of the Majority Text", or to say "I go to the Lithuanian Apostolic Orthodox Autocephalic Church of the Baltic union of 1838".

10. Ultimately, I am a Calvinist because I had no choice in the matter.
 

tigersnare

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StAnselm said:
Discuss. :D

TEN REASONS WHY I AM A CALVINIST


4. Calvinists can drink.

:amen:

StAnselm said:
8. Calvinists think we are smarter than anybody else.

:blush: It does seem this way, seems like we learn our bibles as much for defending against the next Charasmatic, Arminiam, or Latter Day saint that comes around, as we do for all the "right" reasons.


StAnselm said:
9. It is more socially acceptable to say, "I go to Grace Presbyterian Church" than to say, "I go to Sonlife Charismatic Believers Assembly", or to say "I go to Boston Berean Bible Believing Baptist Bethel", or to say "I go to the Latter-Day-Rain Deliverance Tabernacle Prophecy Center, Inc.", or to say "I go to the Philadelphia Church of the Majority Text", or to say "I go to the Lithuanian Apostolic Orthodox Autocephalic Church of the Baltic union of 1838".

:thumbsup:

StAnselm said:
10. Ultimately, I am a Calvinist because I had no choice in the matter.

Let's hear it for pre-ordained theologies! ;)
 
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Imblessed

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cygnusx1 said:
One of the many benefits of being a Calvinist is it keeps the cults at bay...............because they love "Free-will" and they detest Predestination , how do I know ?....................I know !!! :D
Amen to that one!
 
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Adammi

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StAnselm said:
Discuss. :D

TEN REASONS WHY I AM A CALVINIST

1. Calvinists tend to wear wool and cotton. Dispensationalists tend to wear lime-green polyester leisure suits.

2. John Calvin was French...being French is very chic.

3. Calvin sounds like Calvin Klein...and his clothes are very chic.

4. Calvinists can drink.

5. Calvinists can smoke.

6. Dispensationalists are into prophecy conferences where they talk about Star-Trek eschatology and the mark of the Beast. Calvinists have conferences on "life and culture", art, social justice and other highbrow things like that. Afterwards, we go to the local pub and talk about philosophy over a pint of Bass ale.

7. Calvinists have close ties with Scotland and Scotland is very cool: you know --Sean Connery, the movie Highlander, Bagpipes, the Loch Ness Monster, Glenlivet 18 year old Scotch, the movie Trainspotting, etc.

8. Calvinists think we are smarter than anybody else.

9. It is more socially acceptable to say, "I go to Grace Presbyterian Church" than to say, "I go to Sonlife Charismatic Believers Assembly", or to say "I go to Boston Berean Bible Believing Baptist Bethel", or to say "I go to the Latter-Day-Rain Deliverance Tabernacle Prophecy Center, Inc.", or to say "I go to the Philadelphia Church of the Majority Text", or to say "I go to the Lithuanian Apostolic Orthodox Autocephalic Church of the Baltic union of 1838".

10. Ultimately, I am a Calvinist because I had no choice in the matter.
I sure am thankful that I am not Calvinist.
I don't like any of the above things.
Your church must not want any new people.:doh:
 
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Buttermilk

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StAnselm said:
Discuss. :D

TEN REASONS WHY I AM A CALVINIST

1. Calvinists tend to wear wool and cotton. Dispensationalists tend to wear lime-green polyester leisure suits.

2. John Calvin was French...being French is very chic.

3. Calvin sounds like Calvin Klein...and his clothes are very chic.

4. Calvinists can drink.

5. Calvinists can smoke.

6. Dispensationalists are into prophecy conferences where they talk about Star-Trek eschatology and the mark of the Beast. Calvinists have conferences on "life and culture", art, social justice and other highbrow things like that. Afterwards, we go to the local pub and talk about philosophy over a pint of Bass ale.

7. Calvinists have close ties with Scotland and Scotland is very cool: you know --Sean Connery, the movie Highlander, Bagpipes, the Loch Ness Monster, Glenlivet 18 year old Scotch, the movie Trainspotting, etc.

8. Calvinists think we are smarter than anybody else.

9. It is more socially acceptable to say, "I go to Grace Presbyterian Church" than to say, "I go to Sonlife Charismatic Believers Assembly", or to say "I go to Boston Berean Bible Believing Baptist Bethel", or to say "I go to the Latter-Day-Rain Deliverance Tabernacle Prophecy Center, Inc.", or to say "I go to the Philadelphia Church of the Majority Text", or to say "I go to the Lithuanian Apostolic Orthodox Autocephalic Church of the Baltic union of 1838".

10. Ultimately, I am a Calvinist because I had no choice in the matter.

LOL I may not subscribe to your theology, but I had a good chuckle at the statements.

I especially liked number 7 :D ^_^ Here Here :D ^_^
 
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Radagast

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Calvinists have close ties with Holland and Holland is very cool: you know -- Renee Soutendijk, Famke Janssen, Paul Verhoeven, windmills, tulips, Rembrandt, van Gogh, Escher, real gin, the movie The Vanishing, etc. ;)

-- Radagast
 
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5solas

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StAnselm said:
2. John Calvin was French...being French is very chic.
Actually Calvin was Swiss ;) - that's why his theology is of such excellency :p :p

let me be serious..... I used to be an arminian :blush: :o dispensationalist:blush::sorry: :eek: - but by the grace of God only !! :clap: :clap: :bow: :prayer: :kiss: I discovered the biblical truth - nowadays called Calvinism...:thumbsup:

:wave:
 
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cygnusx1

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5solas said:
Actually Calvin was Swiss ;) - that's why his theology is of such excellency :p

let me be serious..... I used to be an arminian :blush: dispensationalist- but by the grace of God only !! I discovered the biblical truth - nowadays called Calvinism...:thumbsup:

:wave:
Calvin was French , Born July 10th 1509 at Piccardy................

btw ,how can you have sooooooooooooo many smilies?
 
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5solas

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cygnusx1 said:
Calvin was French , Born July 10th 1509 at Piccardy................

btw ,how can you have sooooooooooooo many smilies?
.... he was born in France ok - but he became a Swiss citizen. Geneva belongs to Switzerland :cool: - so he was Swiss. And so we are both right ^_^

and here are all the smilies that I have:
:) ;) :D :cool: :p :wave: :thumbsup: :amen: :clap: ^_^ :kiss: :hug: :preach: :priest: :holy: :crosself: :pray: :prayer: :groupray: :bow: :angel: :yum: :| :idea: :blush: :sorry: :o :doh: :yawn: :sleep: :scratch: :sick: :help: :sigh: :( :cry: :mad:

(bulldog was right: become a site supporter and get many more advantages [don't ask me about them - I don't know] :) )
 
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Playerslight77

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Radagast said:
Calvinists have close ties with Holland and Holland is very cool: you know -- Renee Soutendijk, Famke Janssen, Paul Verhoeven, windmills, tulips, Rembrandt, van Gogh, Escher, real gin, the movie the Vanishing, etc. ;)

-- Radagast
The dikes, the Dikes, THE DIKES!!!

uhhhh...

The ones that retain water. I mean the ones that hold the ocean back...
Nevermind...:o
 
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cygnusx1

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Playerslight77 said:
The dikes, the Dikes, THE DIKES!!!

uhhhh...

The ones that retain water. I mean the ones that hold the ocean back...
Nevermind...:o
I saw an amazing program on the Dutch engineering of Dikes and their massive damms.
They had lost hundreds of acres of land by flooding over the centuries and they reclaimed the land from the sea at a huge cost of manpower and life.....
I tell you those Dutch people are amazing!!!

Holland's Barriers to the Sea
Most of Holland is below sea level, the nation a drainage basin for three major rivers. Its people have fought back against floods since the Middle Ages, and now they have developed massive, computer-controlled sea barriers and dams to help them.

http://www.discoverychannelasia.com/extremeengineering/home.shtml
 
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