I think you're making an issue where none exists. People don't have to want what you want. And judging people by their decisions and past is not fair, especially if you lump everyone who is making a major life choice in the same category, "damaged."
I wasn't putting the life choice itself as her being damaged, but the fact that she has pretty much a permanent distrust in men that needs to be resolved. That's the damage that I was referring to that needs resolving.
One of her sisters in Christ explained to her, "Come on, our brothers in Christ aren't all that bad. Can't be distrusting everyone."
It is interesting though, one Christian group I was a member of, in the big city, more people were open to dating others. They don't really do much activities outside the singles worship. Maybe an occasional home get together, but that's about it.
No real issues to speak of. This small town one, some pretty big issues...and should be addressed either by a real professional hired on by the church or perhaps a doctor willing to volunteer their services for counseling. A professional.
Being in a safe group where you can relate to others is a healthy and productive part of healing and is often recommended by professional therapist as part of the help they are receiving.
Not really, this publication... Christian Psychologys Gods Word Victimization would say otherwise.
I did a search on Google on
Christian Catharsis, and came across this site....
The intro paragraph is spot on on what this group is trying to accomplish...
More and more, it is not the Word of God that binds our hearts and minds in common unity, but rather our particular "dysfunction" or "addiction" or "need." With increasing frequency, the church is being fragmented into small groups centered on the group's common problem and often organized around the 12-step method adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous
[e.g., the "codependency" support-group movement within the professing church]. We share our problems, we share our feelings, we share our "victimizations," we share our sinful lusts—in fact, we almost glory in these things. The result is a dependent elitism. And one comes to believe that only the others in the group can really understand him or her—that only those in the group know what the others suffer, struggle with, hurt over, etc.
It's turning into more of a self-help group than just fellowship and just overall socializing. I almost felt like leaving a casual birthday party because they felt the need to spontaneously jump into lengthy testimonial and diatribe with host.
I was like "Um, this is a birthday party, not a church. If you want to have a cathartic experience, do so in church...not a social event. It's just awkward and can turn away newcomers.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm okay with a blessing over food or a short prayer to an event, but just jumping into theatrics and drama to experience an emotion just makes some uncomfortable.
They tend to fixate on their victimization.
I don't mean to judge, but I'm more so pointing out that it doesn't seem to be a good fit.
"Victimization has even infested the Christian community. Stories of neglect, abuse, and mistreatment seem to be accepted at face value and are constantly discussed---even in church 'care' groups." page 148 of that publication.
Maybe I see judgmental because I cannot relate ? That I never been through an abusive marriage or mistreatment as such?
