Why don't men wear engagement rings?

[BranwenUerchLlyr]

Because the DeBeers diamond company created the myth that a man must give a woman a diamond to marry her. Women, at that time, were not in the position of paying stupidly inflated amounts of money for shiny rocks to give away, so it was marketed as a man's gift to a woman. And a necessary one at that--lest she refuse the proposal. I won't be participating in that scam.

We can get each other an engagement down payment on a house. Much better investment.

 

[HisLittleHazelnut]

Engagement rings are pretty much an outdated tradition because essentially it was a mark of a man's ability to provide for a woman. Nowadays, men often go into debt for months or even years to provide the ring because they think every woman wants the biggest rock they can get. Also, with women working, often times pulling their share of home finances, that tradition is no longer necessary because of its outdated roots.

 

[Bampot]

After reading this thread, I decided to have a talk with my boyfriend about the matter. We're not engaged, but we plan on making that step after we get our own place. Which will be in the next year or two. We decided that we'll both get a ring and we spent some time pondering styles and prices of rings and wedding bands last night.

It's a silly tradition, but so is having a big wedding. Something to flaunt and have a beautiful time with. It will be nice to look down and see something that symbolizes his commitment and love during hectic wedding planning.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

My fiance started wearing a large ring alternating hands on the ring finger before we got engaged and used it to slyly figure out my size. After we got engaged he started wearing his grandfather's ring that was passed down to him. I got used to seeing him with it on so on the days when he wasn't wearing it I missed it. I like seeing him with the ring on-it's a visual reminder that he's mine. Right now he's saying that will be his wedding ring which is fine with me.

 

[PhantomTorment]

I wish I had an engagement band...I don't know why men don't.

 

[Im_A]

When I was engaged, I wore a ring. Didn't make any sense not to.

 

[pressingon17]

My girlfriend wants to buy me one when we get engaged and then get me another one when we get married. I left it up to her and it looks like i will be wearing one.

 

[Drekkan85]

Didn't read all the thread - but worth noting that at least in Canadian law, a wedding ring isn't actually a gift. If an engagement ends (for any reason - including infidelity of the man), the man is entitled to the ring back. It's an oddity of property law. AFTER the wedding the form of property known as ownership passes to the woman.

So a ring isn't really a gift. It's essentially a form of consideration in a contract where the woman's consideration is getting married to their husband. Or, as my property prof referred to it, "a bribe".

 

[gzt]

Drekkan - you mean an engagement ring is not a gift in your first sentence.

 

[Singermom]

My WH & I have been married for almost 25 years, and I have NEVER had an engagement ring. Neither has my husband (the only jewelry he wears is his band, his Christian ring and his cross).

First of all, I can't jusify the waste of money just for a piece of jewelry. Second, I don't really care for diamonds or yellow gold; I prefer opals, but they're fragile.

Don't get me wrong; I love jewelry. I just like FUN jewelry. The one most precious piece of jewelry I own (aside of my plain white gold wedding band) is a ring my husband bought me for Mother's Day 2005: it's white gold, shaped like a heart, and has his birthstone, my birthstone, and the birthstones of our 2 daughters. That ring means more to me than any ol' engagement ring.

 

[Drekkan85]

Drekkan - you mean an engagement ring is not a gift in your first sentence.

Indeed, thank you. I completely had a freudian slip there. My girlfriend and I have been talking about certain other matters related to wedding rings (with some hint dropping on her part) and it must have been on my mind.

 

[bliz]

My mother received an engagement watch at the time of engagement in 1947.

 

[Nienna_Lady_of_Tears]

I got an engagement sword.

 

[pressingon17]

My girl will be buying me an engagement ring in the next few weeks.I don't know why but she wants to so I'm not complaining.

 

[Tom23121987]

I do lol

 

[Vijaya]

depends on the person's interest. Some persons who are interested in wearing rings they wear otherwise don't.


Thanks,
Vijaya

 

[Alice_Of_Legend]

I gave my fiance an engagement ring, he wears it, its awesome, has skulls lol

 

[VictoriasImage77]

Women like diamonds, and men have been conditioned to think if they wear sparkly things they are less of a man

Mine wears a ring I gave him on his right hand ring finger, kinda for this purpose.

I take my ring off a lot for work or doing dishes and he gets rather bent out of shape about it, as if it somehow makes me not engaged anymore, haha.

Kudos for asking why! More people need to ask why.

 

[Singermom]

Women like diamonds, and men have been conditioned to think if they wear sparkly things they are less of a man

In our family, I don't like diamonds, and my husband has one that was his grandfather's.

Go figure.

 

[Angeldove97]

Women like diamonds, and men have been conditioned to think if they wear sparkly things they are less of a man

Mine wears a ring I gave him on his right hand ring finger, kinda for this purpose.

I take my ring off a lot for work or doing dishes and he gets rather bent out of shape about it, as if it somehow makes me not engaged anymore, haha.

Kudos for asking why! More people need to ask why.

My fiance got me a lovely antique engagement ring--- it's far from what people would assume is fashionable now-a-days, but I think its beautiful and it fit into what he could afford.

Yesterday we decided on my wedding band--- it has some small diamonds on it but the beautiful part of it is actually in the middle where there is some carved gold work. I'd honestly would prefer an unique and nicely etched/designed ring over a huge stone on my finger. And the price is something that fits into our budget.

All together we'll will have spent $850 on the two rings. And I am perfectly fine with that and he is perfectly fine with that.

My fiance is still deciding what he wants--- we'll probably still get him some kind of Irish wedding band since that is something he likes and I like too. I already purchased him a tungsten Irish ring that he wears on his right hand and it was $50 and he loves it. It's a shame that we can't just use that as his wedding ring because of how perfect it is! (And maybe that's what it will come down to)

-----

What you said about your fiance is totally him. Reading that made me laugh.