Why does no one understand?

[LittleH]

I am feeling so frustrated at the moment because no one seems to understand what I am going through. Why is it so hard to understand that having ptsd and being in constant pain makes me depressed? Why are my coping strategies so hard to understand? I know they aren't the healthiest but I am coping the best I can right now. Am I that weird?

 

[Spunkn]

No you're not weird, it's just that a lot of people have no idea what someone is experiencing when they go through ptsd or depression. People don't know how to help, so they try and fix you which doesn't work either.

Have you tried going to a counselor or do you have any people close to you that you can confide in?

 

[emilie mayer]

How are you coping? Why do you say its not the best way?

 

[Woven]

Maybe it's not that they don't understand your coping strategies, but maybe more that they are worried that it's not actually helping you? I don't know what specific coping strategy you are referring to, but I do know that while some coping strategies provide temporary relief, they actually create a bigger problem in the long run.

Have you spoken to a therapist?

Praying for you.

 

[LittleH]

Thank you for the replies.

My frustration is really coming from the fact that a friend from my church came round to see me yesterday and told me that I need to pull myself together. She didn't say it in a particularly loving way either! I struggle with eating and self-harm, and whilst I know those things aren't great, I can't just snap my fingers and make everything okay. It doesn't work like that. I am in therapy with a focus on the ptsd and my therapist has said that she will almost certainly refer me on to a different type of therapy when I have finished working with her. I also have a couple of friend who are supportive and understanding - one has supported other people who have been in my position and the other has been through similar things to myself. I guess I just hoped that the church would want to support members who are struggling. I really don't think telling someone to pull themselves together is that supportive.

Am I wrong?! I am, however, so thankful to God that I found CF. I would be so lonely without the friends I have made here.

 

[Woven]

I'm sorry your friend was so hurtful. I think it's really hard for anybody who hasn't been depressed to understand how it's not something you can just snap out of.

I'm glad you're seeing a therapist. I'm sure that will help.

You might also find it helpful to print out this list of descriptions of who you are in Christ. Read them every day. Speak them out over your life. Not only is it a good reminder for you, but I think words are very powerful.

 

[LittleH]

Thank you so much for the link to those descriptions. I have read through them and whilst they made me cry, it was in a good way. It is so hard to believe them about myself with what I have been through but I am hoping that in time God will help me to believe them.

I think you are right that it is hard for people who haven't had depression to understand what it is like. I don't actually feel angry with her, just really hurt. I always try to help other people and I just wanted to feel supported myself. Thank you for being so gentle with me.

 

[miss-a]

I understand the hurt you feel. I'm sorry for your tough time and I'm so glad you are reading that list. It is wonderful!

Prayers for you,
a

 

[BlessedMommy05]

I know the feeling and by what alot have said, many cant really help unless they them selves been through similure situations. And I am so with you on the flip the switch deal alot of us cant just do that. No matter on what subject or life deal its not easy, that alone takes time. So dont feel alone we're all here on CF have been down some road and can help or lift up in prayer or just listen, I know its helped me alot. Sometimes people just do NOT think before they speak. So thats alot of the issues in general I believe.

 

[1ofGodsChildren]

I have MDD and hypothyroidism. I use to be married and was a southern baptist preacher. She left me like that. I was told the samethings you were. I am sooooooooooooooooooooo glad that Jesus knows how I feel.

Will be praying for you. Ill put you on my prayer notebook. God knows all about all. Rest in that fact. Sometimes things happen and they hurt and we don't understand. That's when we really need to read the scriptures to know Christ better. He's the good shepherd. Sin has ruined everything but one day sister God shall wipe away our tears. Don't give up! God loves you soooo much!

 

[trishq]

Praying for you,

 

[DancesWithGnostics]

LIttleH -- I am glad you have come here to CF to share.

I dare to whisper that there is growing awareness of ptsd and depression and all they can mean.

There is more light out there than what was shown by an insensitive church member

 

[LittleH]

I really do hope that there is a growing awareness of mental health illnesses in general, especially in churches. I find that if a Christian hurts me, it always hurts more. Since this happened, I have been thinking about the lack of understanding and it is very frustrating. I know that it is because people don't have any knowledge of such things. You never know, I might end up championing this cause!

 

[DancesWithGnostics]

I am treated at The Veteran's Adminstration Mental Health unit for Depression and Anxiety. I have been seeing a psychologist once a month - although in times of stress she steps it up to every 2 weeks -- as has just been done again. I am back on medications from the Psychiatrist, after a year of being off of them. Even a most-loved friend has issues with me taking the chemicals again -- but is as supportive as possible.

I will soon begin weekly GROUP sessions with fellow veterans for aceepting Depression.

I also happened to notice that among the GROUP SESSIONS that were being offered was a course for "PTSD for non-combat veterans" -- yeah

an awareness that you didn't have to actually be IN COMBAT to suffer from PTSD

Me - I was never in combat - but worked in a hazardous field - refueling - and still have dreams of flying out of a fuel truck I was driving when the cab exploded, and thinking the whole load of jet fuel would ignite, but it never did

so -- awareness of PTSD for other than a combat vet is growing, but don't look for it first in the churches, they'll prolly be the last to get around to seeing things that the non-religious mental health field sees first

we can pray that mental health stuff is accepted in the churches -- and gains awareness - you can be the champion LittleH !!

But right now I look for the VA mental health services to take the lead

 

[Krissy Cakes]

I have PTSD and depression and it is hard when people don't understand.

But please know I am praying for you. I am also here if you ever need to talk.

God Bless you dear sister.

 

[LittleH]

I am treated at The Veteran's Adminstration Mental Health unit for Depression and Anxiety. I have been seeing a psychologist once a month - although in times of stress she steps it up to every 2 weeks -- as has just been done again. I am back on medications from the Psychiatrist, after a year of being off of them. Even a most-loved friend has issues with me taking the chemicals again -- but is as supportive as possible.

I will soon begin weekly GROUP sessions with fellow veterans for aceepting Depression.

I also happened to notice that among the GROUP SESSIONS that were being offered was a course for "PTSD for non-combat veterans" -- yeah

an awareness that you didn't have to actually be IN COMBAT to suffer from PTSD

Me - I was never in combat - but worked in a hazardous field - refueling - and still have dreams of flying out of a fuel truck I was driving when the cab exploded, and thinking the whole load of jet fuel would ignite, but it never did

so -- awareness of PTSD for other than a combat vet is growing, but don't look for it first in the churches, they'll prolly be the last to get around to seeing things that the non-religious mental health field sees first

we can pray that mental health stuff is accepted in the churches -- and gains awareness - you can be the champion LittleH !!

But right now I look for the VA mental health services to take the lead

Wow, you don't see the psychologist very often! I'm in the UK, so it's a bit different here but I see mine weekly. There are occasional weeks where I don't see her but I have never had more than a two-week gap between appointments. I'm glad that you are able to see your psychologist more often, although I am sorry that you are struggling more at the moment.

I have never been in the military, so I am well aware that there are a variety of things that can cause ptsd. Mine comes from years of abuse when I was a child and teenager. Natural disasters, fires, accidents, serious illness can all cause ptsd too. There is too much ignorance but that can be changed. There are campaigns to get people talking about mental health conditions generally, and that is a good start. If it is God's will for me, then maybe I will break down the barriers that society has created!

 

[LittleH]

I have PTSD and depression and it is hard when people don't understand.

But please know I am praying for you. I am also here if you ever need to talk.

God Bless you dear sister.

Thank you, you are so kind.

I do feel like I am smacking my head against a brick wall sometimes. I know it is hard to understand when they haven't had depression or any other mental health condition but could they not try? I get particularly upset when I am faced with their judgement, and it is especially painful when it comes from a Christian.

 

[DancesWithGnostics]

I have learned to let

the benighted bigotry of a fellow-Christian's ignorance concerning mental issues

slide off of me like water off a duck's back!

Go ahead and tell me I just need DELIVERANCE!

Just tell me I need brother so-and-so to cast that 'Depression demon' outta me!

Go ahead and tell me I just don't have enough FAITH -- and wouldn't be depressed if I had enuff Faith

my answer to those who SOUND THESE CLANGING CYMBALS

is


what else ya got?


Got anything POSITIVE to offer?

I have come to see Depression as a very serious thing that can RECUR from time to time within a person's life

Imo, it is not necessarily a once-and-for-all "genetically determined imbalance of neurotransmitters in the brain" -- in which case the main fight against it would be chemical

neither is it necessarily a matter of demonology

neither is it necessarily a matter of a lack of faith

all those ideas might be INVOLVED -- but are not necessarily THE WHOLE SHOOTIN MATCH

and I give ear - no - not one minute, to some of the simplistic approaches some "Christians" give --

but rather stand with hand grenades and a flame-thrower against the accusations of the Dark One which, unfortunately, often come through the mouths of our "brethren"

 

[WarriorForJesus79]

Will be praying healing prayer for all your who have mental health issues. I'm sorry for your struggles, and dealing with ignorant people.