Why does it upset you if you catch your SO checking out another person?

[ImperialPhantom]

It doesn't upset me or Kellee. Why? Because we know we're each other's at the end of the day, and not someone else's. We'll make fun of each other for checking out someone, or calling someone hot, but it's in the spirit of jest, and neither of us would get angry about it whatsoever, unless It would only irritate if one of us was so distracted that we weren't paying attention to each other due to the checking out of someone else, or if the people one of us checked out generally had a vastly different body type than me or her.

I haven't caught her checking out a guy yet, but it would be more fascinating than anything, because as you all know, I love to analyze people, and I would analyze her general taste in guys, and it would interest me. She has caught me checking out someone before, but she wasn't upset - she did make fun of me for it though, and it ended up being all in good fun.

 

[CoolMom6]

My bf is 12 years older than me, and he checks out cute younger women all the time; celebrities or girls on posters, or walking down the street. I think it's rude, myself, but basically, I am pretty sure none of those beauties would even consider him, so I don't worry about it. Besides, he assures me of his love and gives me lots of attention otherwise.

And YES, I pick on him about it, but don't be so sure, IP, that it did not bother her. It may have been a way of dealing with it which wasn't confrontational or hurtful.

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

Nah, it really didn't bother me (I'm IP's girlfriend). He knows that if I have an issue with something he says or does, I'm not gonna laugh it off.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

And YES, I pick on him about it, but don't be so sure, IP, that it did not bother her. It may have been a way of dealing with it which wasn't confrontational or hurtful.

Well, she directly said that it does not, like she just said in the reply. If it did but she said it didn't, that would make it a lie, what she said. And like she said, she has and will let me know when something is bothering her.

 

[CoolMom6]

Nah, it really didn't bother me (I'm IP's girlfriend). He knows that if I have an issue with something he says or does, I'm not gonna laugh it off.

Good sweetie!!!!
I am glad. I think it is because like me (now, but was not always), you are secure in your man's love and attention. I do think it is not really respectful, but yes, as I pointed out, even older men do it, and it is sort of hard for them to stop if it is blatantly in their face.

I also think that what I and you were talking about may be slightly different things also, more like when I look at beautiful people of any sex or age just to "people watch" and admire what God has made. I think ALL people are beautiful~~

 

[CoolMom6]

Hugs to you two and God bless!!!

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

Hugs to you two and God bless!!!

Thanks!

 

[Christdiedforme]

bump

 

[Everlasting33]

It would bother me if I saw my boyfriend (and I have) checking out other women. I have always struggled with feelings of inadequacy and the action of looking at other women only feeds into it. My boyfriend has struggled with porn in the past so that is also a factor in why its upsetting when he checks out women.

Although I am working on my self-esteem and worth, I will always believe that checking out the opposite sex is wrong...especially when your partner is right there! I know a lot of women are secure with that, but I am not and it is hard for me to imagine being so.

 

[RenaeN]

It varies for me. Depending on how comfortable I am feeling. I think for the most part, strangers don't bug me. (He doesn't check them out very often.) It is his friends that are girls, that I can get very uncomfortable about. But that is a whole other can of worms.

 

[none the wiser]

I've never seen him do it. If he does, I don't know about it. He's subtle about checking me (and others maybe?) out, and I think that's classy...but even if I did see him doing it, I know he prefers me at the end of the day. Like you mentioned IP, I'd probably tease him about it

 

[lovesbrightpink]

my fiance wouldnt do that, I feel that its wrong, and he feels very strongly about the fact that we should not look at other people. its just lust and thats not us.

 

[Everlasting33]

my fiance wouldnt do that, I feel that its wrong, and he feels very strongly about the fact that we should not look at other people. its just lust and thats not us.

Agreed!

 

[miss_klara]

I do have a bit of a problem with it. I know he can't help it, but I'm a jealous person, and as Steelerbred said, I've always struggled with feeling inadequate... I know logically that it's nothing to worry about, but it just makes me insecure...

 

[Luther073082]

my fiance wouldnt do that, I feel that its wrong, and he feels very strongly about the fact that we should not look at other people. its just lust and thats not us.

Actually I disagree that checking someone out is lust. If that is lust then there is no possibility of being physically attracted to someone. Lust is to cocentrate or imagine a sexual experience with that person, not to notice that they are attractive.

Personally I don't care because I am at peace with the fact that I am not the most physically attractive person in the world. (Not saying I'm the least either) The reason that Keri is with me *hopefully* is because of my personaility and what is important to me.

Yes I want to know that she's physically attracted to me too but here is the thing. People are physically attracted to more then one person, and her being attracted physically to other men does not make me feel insecure. It would make me feel insecure however if she was emotionally attracted to them in a romantic manner.

Just cause we are together does not turn off the fact that we are human. . .

 

[LostUntilSaved]

It would depend on how he looked at her. If he was looking at her from head to toe, long and hard like if he was picturing her with her clothes off then I'd be mad. If he just glanced then I wouldn't care.

 

[Weasel7711]

IP what do you define as "checking out"
the occasional glance up and down, or the intent stare at the buttocks/breasts?

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

IP what do you define as "checking out"
the occasional glance up and down, or the intent stare at the buttocks/breasts?

Just the occasional glance up and down, or just noticing someone attractive. But not staring.

Yeah, I know, I answered for him.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

Haha, you were right though

I've never seen him do it. If he does, I don't know about it. He's subtle about checking me (and others maybe?) out, and I think that's classy...but even if I did see him doing it, I know he prefers me at the end of the day. Like you mentioned IP, I'd probably tease him about it

Haha, I am definitely NOT subtle about checking out my girl As for other girls, I try to be as subtle as possible.

Not all checkouts are a good thing for the person being checked out either, at least by me. I'm a people watcher, so I notice almost everyone - 95 percent of the time I'm actually judging their sense of fashion (insert Kellee with the metro jokes)

 

[Weasel7711]

Oh well in that case, at least for men its pretty much an instinct. The quick up and down look its just gut reaction to pretty much anything that walks by. I think to myself shes attractive, then I look at my fiance and think, shes beautiful. But I wouldnt care too much if she noticed an attractive dude. As long as she wasnt sitting there drooling over him.