why does it hurt so bad

[Evie]

my depression started to get alittle worse. I have been back to my Dr.'s twice,to no avail there is nothing wrong with me. I do not have insurance so I will not be going back nor to another doctor. It's getting worse as the days past,I read and pray,maybe it's just my situations?
My hubby and I have been seperated twice and are now seriously looking at maybea divorce. Plus the death of my nephew's suicide is really starting to weigh me down abit. Why does it hurt so bad,I feel lke God is a million miles away. I read every night while I lye in bed,and last night,I got nothing. No understanding of His word at all. Why?
I do try really hard to live the life.

 

[blessedmomof5]

Evie,

I am sorry you are going though this difficut time, i tried to pm you, i looked up your profile and i see you feed the homeless in ny? so is it safe to assume thats where you are from? if so thats where i am from they have what they call family health plus which is an insurance for people who cannot afford insurance....I am soooooooo sorry to hear about your nephew that must have been hard on you and your family, and will take yrs to lessen the pain but i would imagine never go away. never ever let a dr tell you there is nothing wrong with you you need to see a pdoc, they specialize in this sort of thing...not any ole dr. if you would like i can find the website of the ins for you and you can take it from there...... you are in my thoughts and prayers....and if you want to talk to can email me anytime...
IN Christ
Denise

 

[Mayflower1]

my depression started to get alittle worse. I have been back to my Dr.'s twice,to no avail there is nothing wrong with me. I do not have insurance so I will not be going back nor to another doctor. It's getting worse as the days past,I read and pray,maybe it's just my situations?
My hubby and I have been seperated twice and are now seriously looking at maybea divorce. Plus the death of my nephew's suicide is really starting to weigh me down abit. Why does it hurt so bad,I feel lke God is a million miles away. I read every night while I lye in bed,and last night,I got nothing. No understanding of His word at all. Why?
I do try really hard to live the life.

I can see you are trying hard, Evie. "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get!" I am sorry about how life is going for you right now, but please remember that God loves you and He is never a million miles away. Whether you feel Him close or you don't, He is always near you and He just wants to come into your life and comfort you. Trials are joy stealers but you just have to keep fighting the good fight and not give up!!! God will NEVER desert His children though. He loves us so much and right now, He sees and hears your cries and He is working out a will in your life. It is all to strengthen you, just remember that!!! Keep up in prayer and I will pray for you as well. Doctors don't really know anything anyway, so just go to Dr. God, or Dr. Mom. They both can help you feel better!!! Best wishes to you and pm me if you ever need to talk. Hugs to you, I will pray for you. Lily00

 

[trinitygrace]

Evie,

I'm so sorry to hear that your depression is getting worse. Yes, I can relate with the feeling the God seems to be a million miles away. But he is not. He is just a prayer away. You sound like a really strong lady and I know you will get past these hard times. I'm so sorry to hear about the death of your nephewn. That is horrible and I saw that he died on the first of the year and that means that it's coming up - which could very well be a big cause of your depression. I know when the anniversary of my Grandmother's death comes around - I feel very depressed because we were best friends and I loved her so much!
Please know God is with you, and I will be praying for you, not only that God gives you strength and comfort and healing through these hard times, but he will also get you the insurance or help you need here too. God Bless! TrinityGrace

 

[Stanfi]

Evie, I have read a lot of your posts, and I can tell that your a good kid.

You are experiencing great lost, abnormal loss. No one ever plans on losing someone to suicide, and when you got married, I am sure you planned on it being forever. When all of this came upon you, your system just went into overload.

There are three areas to be concerened with Emotional, Spritual, Physical.

Spritual. = You just gotta keep reading and praying, get as close to God as you can. If nothing else, just say to God "I don't understand"..

Physcial = Get exericse. Just get out and walk around, you will be suprised how much better you'll feel. Do something just for you, something you enjoy

Emotional/ Mental = Read everything you can about depression. Try to get the the roots of what is really bugging you. Dig deep into your chidhood, and see if any current events are triggering bad childhood memories, that are causing you more pain. If so, try to understand what has happened, and get some closure about it.

I've been there. I experience loss in my life that brought me to my knees. I read every book I could get my hands on about depressiion/ anxiety and inner healing. Every thing I read, I learned something about myself, that help me to understand what was going on inside of me, and piece by piece I was set free.


The Holidays also make it harder, I must admit. It is not easy, but if you really desire in your heart to feel better, and you seek God with all you got, and you dig, and dig, and try to understand, you will heal piece by piece in time.

Been there done it. I still have bad days from time to time, but no where near the condition I once was.

 

[ForeverSeekingLight]

Hi,
Im really sorry you are feeling this way. Sometimes things dont make sense hey? I have no advice other than keep seeking. Remember that God does not give us anything more than we can handle...he must just think you can handle alot!
If you ever need to talk, feel free to pm me. Im thinking of u!

 

[Just Me Garry]

Hi there Evie,

I am so sorry to hear that you are having a very rough time right now. Please do not give up. You have a lot to share with people and not just on this forum.

It is a very tough time for Christian people everywhere and even more tougher for those who take a stand for Christ.

I am reminded of these words of the Apostle Paul:

1 Cor 10:13
There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
KJV


Encoragement from Psalms:


Ps 57:1

Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me: for my soul trusteth in thee: yea, in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge, until these calamities be overpast.
KJV

Ps 138:8
The LORD will perfect that which concerneth me: thy mercy, O LORD, endureth for ever: forsake not the works of thine own hands.
KJV


Rom 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
KJV

You are in my thoughts and prayers,

Garry

 

[Harrythepizzaguy]

Hi Evie, I hope you don't mind me adding my 2 cents worth-- I read what you said to the 15 year old and I felt it was very special and genuine.
I have survived over 30 years of depression off and on and I don't know if I could even tell you why or how, really. I guess my fear of God's judgement and the danger of coming under the influence of dark enemies of God has kept me alive. That's step one--staying alive. The other thing is that medications can help in some cases, but it takes perseverance to find the right one. In my case, "Effexor" was the only one that helped after over 5 years of trying different ones. But as you know, medications are not the whole answer. last year, I took part in a special program called "Bondage Breakers" which is based on a book by the same name--can't remember the pastor at the moment. This is a process where a person seeks out through Patience, prayer and perseverance any areas of their life where there can be elements of spiritual or mental bondage--going back to childhood trauma's. Being in a difficult relationship can be a source of bondage if the freedom of Christ is not present. Catholics have a concept called, "Sacramental marriage." This is the ideal state of marriage the way it was meant to be. It can be determined that a "sacramental marriage" exists or existed in a simple court-house marriage and that it does not exist in a formal Church wedding where children have been born. The idea is that the conditions for a marriage that is truly blessed by God can be elusive at times and can be missing from the beginning. For me I found that being kicked around and oppressed by abusive employers and troubled friends, road rage idiots, etc...was a source of bondage and depression in my life and it helped to stand up to these people in an appropriate way.
It's ok to get angry at God too and the way the world is--and be angry about people who have taken the wrong path in life and sold out. The Apostle Paul practically begged Jesus to heal a heavy burden in his life and the Lord just said, "My grace is sufficient..." This is difficult to understand. For me, the turning point was when I accepted the world the way it was and stopped being angry at God for it. I'm blessed in knowing with more certainty due to special circumstances in my life that God is indeed real. Conversely and more frightening the bad guys have also been revealed to me in different ways. I guess my only advice is to survive for one and then ask God consistently for the grace to hold on to hope that things will eventually get better and for the grace to realize that we can't fight these battles ourselves and especially to avoid the deadly sin of despair that the demons tempted Judas with. Also avoid isolation. This was one of the key dangers that claimed the lives of some of my depressed friends.
Also, you mentioned that reading the Word was not speaking to you or comforting you at the moment. Sacramental Christians place a high value on drawing near to the healing of Christ--touching His Robe so to speak-- through communion of Bread and Wine. You might try seeking out a communion service in your Church or elsewhere and I also found when I was depressed that it lifted my spirits to visit and praise the Lord with upheld hands at a Charismatic Christian worship, even though I'm not a charismatic Christian.
Anyway, that's my take on depression at the moment--hope this helps... feel free to write anytime...
Harold (Mental health survivor forever!!)

 

[trinitygrace]

Evie,

Continuing to pray for you during this rough season you are in. May you feel God's comfort and blessings rain down upon you. I hope you feel his loving arms wrapped around you and a feeling that he will never left you go, leave, nor forsake you. You are His child and He loves you and wants you to be happy, not upset. I pray he gives you reasons to laugh and smile today

Always in my prayers,
TrinityGrace