Hi gungful
Glad you are open and questioning. My answer may be longer than you are looking for, but I'm trying to give you the rationale behind my opinions.

First,
Christian beliefs are based on the Bible. To see why we believe the Bible to be without error (which some might see as
elitism), Christian Apologetics (not apologies, but things such as cosmology) or Evidences (external to the Bible) give proofs. Please pm me if you wish a list of pamphlets or books. As to Christian theology, good books are: by
Lewis - Decide for Yourself, a Theological Workbook for People Tired of Being Told What to Believe; by Lindsey - The Liberation of Planet Earth (mainly salvation). Those are reasons why we believe Jesus when He said in John 14:6: "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."
As far as fear, the only ones attending church that I see that in are people who don't understand the character of God, who are legalists following some set of external rules, or those who believe they can lose their salvation (which they can't - see Romans 6:23 with Romans 11:29 and John 12:28-29). In my case, I did trust in Jesus as my sinbearer to get me to Heaven without any good works of my own - out of fear - it was because I became demon oppressed as an atheist, and I was rightly terrified of hell. Still, I am in the vast minority. In nearly all people I know, they came to Christianity out of intellectually examining the evidences, or out of love for God, or a simple desire for Heaven. Not from fear. If most people were handed a check for a million dollars with no strings attached, they would cash the check - but not out of fear.

Concerning
sin, God says that
everyone is a sinner. "For
all have sinned and come short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23) That's why He sent Jesus to make the payment for all sins on the cross. We do not have to
conform (do good works, promise to be good, etc.) in order to receive eternal life. We only need to make a decision to rely on Jesus to save us. To accept God's free gift. (Romans 6:23) (Please excuse me if I am misunderstanding your use of "conform".)
In case you are interested in specifics of my own journey which started with a fear of hell but has now come to a passionate love for God based on who He is, please see my website, click on "personal testimony" and look for relevant paragraph headings, or click on "A Passion for God" for verses.
God bless you, friend. Please pm me if you have more questions.
Aloha in Jesus