Why does God always fold people's clothes during the rapture?

[Waiting for the Verdict]

I'm having trouble figuring this out. Can anyone help me?

Perhaps God runs a laundry mat.

 

[ottaia]

God is very neat and cannot abide chaos.

 

[CoinGeek]

I'm having trouble figuring this out. Can anyone help me?

Perhaps God runs a laundry mat.

First, prove there actually IS a rapture

 

[Multi-Elis]

Well, of course God likes neetness and order. It's a good example to other people. A witness.

(I never saw the movie, but my brother has been telling me about it. He finds it funny.)

 

[Martinez]

Because any clothes not found according to his exacting standards, would have to be picked up and thrown into the fire!

and that would mean that you would be naked!

and we all know how Jesus feels about those who are poor, blind or naked!

 

[loriersea]

I'm sure that people will be raptured fully clothed. Even if they are showering at the time, God will be sure they are wrapped in a very large towel before ascending.

 

[Martinez]

I'm sure that people will be raptured fully clothed. Even if they are showering at the time, God will be sure they are wrapped in a very large towel before ascending.

Yuk!

I hate getting dressed when I'm wet!

Imagine if you stay like that forever.

 

[mark53]

Will he iron them as well!

 

[Sam Gamgee]

I'd like some light starch please...

 

[Im_A]

I'm having trouble figuring this out. Can anyone help me?

Perhaps God runs a laundry mat.

wait, so that means clothes stay on when the rapture happens? i'm hoping i'm wearing my boxers and my Bob Marley shirt and my ripped up jeans if that's true. going out in style, or at least my version of style.

 

[ottaia]

wait, so that means clothes stay on when the rapture happens? i'm hoping i'm wearing my boxers and my Bob Marley shirt and my ripped up jeans if that's true. going out in style, or at least my version of style.

Wow! I never thought about that. I want to be wearing comfy clothes then, nothing that binds or Chafes.

 

[Im_A]

Wow! I never thought about that. I want to be wearing comfy clothes then, nothing that binds or Chafes.

HAHA!

 

[Martinez]

Wow! I never thought about that. I want to be wearing comfy clothes then, nothing that binds or Chafes.

Do you think the rapture might be via strings or wires attached to our clothes?

well that would explain why He would dress us if we are in the shower!


Ha Ha!

 

[DailyBlessings]

I'd like to be wearing a fluffy hat, a big yellow boa, and my "Real Men Wear Pink!" PFLAG t-shirt.

Just to give my heavenly neighbors something to talk about on the battlefield!

 

[UberLutheran]

Certain Things Must Be Done In A Certain Way.

Rapture? Do all the laundry and make sure everything is folded.

Cold weather coming in? Do all the laundry and make sure everything is folded and hung up.

Ice storm/snow storm coming? Do all the laundry and make sure everything is folded and hung up. Also, make sure the bathrooms are clean. Have at least two weeks' food on supply, including something which will slow cook for at least eight hours so the house will smell nice.

Severe thunderstorms/tornadoes/high winds/floods coming? You got it: do all the laundry and make sure everything is folded and hung up. Make sure the bathrooms are clean. Have at least two weeks' food on supply, including something which will slow cook for at least eight hours so the house will smell nice. Clean the cat box (it may be difficult to clean the cat box during a tornado).

Nuclear holocaust? Do all the laundry and make sure everything is folded and hung up. Make sure the bathrooms are clean. Have at least two weeks' food on supply, including something which will slow cook for at least eight hours so the house will smell nice. Clean the cat box (it may be difficult to clean the cat box during a tornado). Clean the eaves and the gutters so nuclear radiation won't get caught in the old leaves and and make sure the driveway into the carport is swept so mutant human survivors will know that at least we were clean.

Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Appear: Do all the laundry and make sure everything is folded and hung up. Make sure the bathrooms are clean. Have at least two weeks' food on supply, including something which will slow cook for at least eight hours so the house will smell nice. Clean the cat box (it may be difficult to clean the cat box during a tornado). Clean the eaves and the gutters so nuclear radiation won't get caught in the old leaves and and make sure the driveway into the carport is swept so mutant human survivors will know that at least we were clean. Make sure underwear has been changed: do you want to be carried into Heaven wearing dirty underwear or underwear with stains?

Coming next -- the origin of UberLutheran family of origin Christmas traditions: the Three Wise Men play "Pass the Knife" to open the gifts presented to the Christ Child.

Here's how "Pass the Knife" is played: people draw cards from a deck to determine who opens the first Christmas gift. (Aces are high; the rank of suites is clubs, hearts, diamonds, spades.) The person with the highest card in the highest suit is given "the knife", whereupon they very carefully pry the tape from the wrapping paper, eventually unwrapping the gift. If the gift is wrapped in plastic or shrinkwrap, the plastic or shrinkwrap is carefully pried apart. The giftwrap is folded very carefully and placed in one bag; the plastic and/or shrinkwrap are folded carefully and placed in another bag. "The knife" is then passed to the person with the next highest card, and that person very carefully pries the tape from the wrapping paper and the plastic and/or shrinkwrap from the gift, then carefully folds and places the giftwrap in the giftwrap bag and the plastic and shrinkwrap in the plastic/shrinkwrap bag. This process continues until everyone has opened all their gifts.

Total elapsed time to open gifts: approximately 3 to 3 1/2 hours, though one year we started at 8 am and finished at 1 pm.

After all the gifts have been opened and all the giftwrap has been carefully folded and placed in the giftwrap bag and the plastic has been placed in the plastic bag, both bags are placed in the fireplace -- and burned.

Should The Rapture occur while my family of origin is opening Christmas presents, everyone will simply have to wait until we are through with "Pass the Knife" before everyone flies up into the air. Certain Things Must Be Done In A Certain Way.

The nice thing about being music director of a Lutheran church is that it is given that there will be services on Christmas Eve, which makes it impossible for me to return to my family of origin and play "Pass the Knife"!

 

[DailyBlessings]

UberLutheran, you just made me laugh so hard, my roommate wandered in to ask if I was having a seizure. In other words, lol.

 

[loriersea]

Wow! I never thought about that. I want to be wearing comfy clothes then, nothing that binds or Chafes.

Jesus is coming: Dress comfy!

 

[Sitswithamouse]

Certain Things Must Be Done In A Certain Way.

Rapture? Do all the laundry and make sure everything is folded.

Cold weather coming in? Do all the laundry and make sure everything is folded and hung up.

Ice storm/snow storm coming? Do all the laundry and make sure everything is folded and hung up. Also, make sure the bathrooms are clean. Have at least two weeks' food on supply, including something which will slow cook for at least eight hours so the house will smell nice.

Severe thunderstorms/tornadoes/high winds/floods coming? You got it: do all the laundry and make sure everything is folded and hung up. Make sure the bathrooms are clean. Have at least two weeks' food on supply, including something which will slow cook for at least eight hours so the house will smell nice. Clean the cat box (it may be difficult to clean the cat box during a tornado).

Nuclear holocaust? Do all the laundry and make sure everything is folded and hung up. Make sure the bathrooms are clean. Have at least two weeks' food on supply, including something which will slow cook for at least eight hours so the house will smell nice. Clean the cat box (it may be difficult to clean the cat box during a tornado). Clean the eaves and the gutters so nuclear radiation won't get caught in the old leaves and and make sure the driveway into the carport is swept so mutant human survivors will know that at least we were clean.

Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Appear: Do all the laundry and make sure everything is folded and hung up. Make sure the bathrooms are clean. Have at least two weeks' food on supply, including something which will slow cook for at least eight hours so the house will smell nice. Clean the cat box (it may be difficult to clean the cat box during a tornado). Clean the eaves and the gutters so nuclear radiation won't get caught in the old leaves and and make sure the driveway into the carport is swept so mutant human survivors will know that at least we were clean. Make sure underwear has been changed: do you want to be carried into Heaven wearing dirty underwear or underwear with stains?

Coming next -- the origin of UberLutheran family of origin Christmas traditions: the Three Wise Men play "Pass the Knife" to open the gifts presented to the Christ Child.

Here's how "Pass the Knife" is played: people draw cards from a deck to determine who opens the first Christmas gift. (Aces are high; the rank of suites is clubs, hearts, diamonds, spades.) The person with the highest card in the highest suit is given "the knife", whereupon they very carefully pry the tape from the wrapping paper, eventually unwrapping the gift. If the gift is wrapped in plastic or shrinkwrap, the plastic or shrinkwrap is carefully pried apart. The giftwrap is folded very carefully and placed in one bag; the plastic and/or shrinkwrap are folded carefully and placed in another bag. "The knife" is then passed to the person with the next highest card, and that person very carefully pries the tape from the wrapping paper and the plastic and/or shrinkwrap from the gift, then carefully folds and places the giftwrap in the giftwrap bag and the plastic and shrinkwrap in the plastic/shrinkwrap bag. This process continues until everyone has opened all their gifts.

Total elapsed time to open gifts: approximately 3 to 3 1/2 hours, though one year we started at 8 am and finished at 1 pm.

After all the gifts have been opened and all the giftwrap has been carefully folded and placed in the giftwrap bag and the plastic has been placed in the plastic bag, both bags are placed in the fireplace -- and burned.

Should The Rapture occur while my family of origin is opening Christmas presents, everyone will simply have to wait until we are through with "Pass the Knife" before everyone flies up into the air. Certain Things Must Be Done In A Certain Way.

The nice thing about being music director of a Lutheran church is that it is given that there will be services on Christmas Eve, which makes it impossible for me to return to my family of origin and play "Pass the Knife"!

I'm glad I wasn't eating or drinking when I read this, or else I would have to clean my computer.

Thanks for making me laugh.

 

[Amurphycat]

I'm having trouble figuring this out. Can anyone help me?

Perhaps God runs a laundry mat.

Because he's god. he is just that cool. What, and you think he would leave them all strewn about??? what kind of god would he be then?? an unclean one or a naughty little boy, yes... not the almighty god he is.

 

[boolucy]

i dont get it