Why do you do it?

[saffron]

Are you sad or are you doing it for the attention?
Do you rather feel fysical pain then physical pain?

I just do it cuz I don't want to feel that black "can't fill hole" in my soul. I just want the pain in my arm instead of the pain i feel in me.

What's your reason and what do you do to keep yourself from NOT doing it?

Saffron
(and excuse my spelling, im from sweden and it's LATE here)

 

[lostndown]

hi, i am michelle (alicia). i am 20 but from 2003 - july 2004 i use to cut a lot... im with u on the "cant fit the hole"... id do it on my arm and hips alot. i have done it 2x in febuary 2006 but i dont now. i did NOT do it for attention and yeah i wanted the physical pain...

now i dont do it cuz i know it causes problems with depression and stuff.

 

[aca_rev55]

Because I like it. It started for other reasons, then after those reasons kind of departed (got over my depression)... I still wanted to do it.

 

[saffron]

If your free from the depression, why do you want to cut yourself?
I only cut when i'm down or really really low and when that fades and i start to see clear again, I HATE me for doing it, because i HATE the scars

 

[HolyOne87]

i use to do it..mostly did it because I didnt like myself(my looks and stuff). I also did it because my ex-bf would sometimes emotionally(sometimes mentally- he always made me feel less than what I really was and I always believed him) abuse me so that was my form of release. I was also very lonely and depressed.

 

[berry2000]

I used to do it because I had so much emotions inside and had no way to release them. I did it because I didn't feel like anger or sadness were acceptable emotions. I did it because I hated myself. I did it so that my suicidal thoughts and self hatred thoughts and all the negative thoughts would stop. I did it to bring me back into the present as a fuctional adult.

I stopped doing it because I truly believe that God does not want me to harm one of his precious creations myself just as much as anyone else. And I stopped because I learned I was wrong about thinking I was only harming myself and I didn't matter. I was really harming a lot of people around me who loved me.

Hope this helps some.

 

[momgreenlady]

hello, my name is linda and I have been a cutter for 16 years, I have not cut since last Oct!!! I started when I was 10 and it started first with just beating and then went to cutting. I did it because I was angry. My mom would always make me mad but I had no way to express that so I turned it inward. I also would do it because I felt that I deserved it, like if I messed up. I think those were the main reasons. Many times I was not present when I would cut and really couldn't feel it. Once I did cut then all my emotions would go away, which made me feel good because I didn't know what to do with all those emotions.

I have been trying to stop for maybe 6 years now. About 3 years ago I made a covenant with God to quit. Ever since then I have had a few setbacks but I have been present at the time and I can't seem to do as much as I used to. I can actually feel the pain as I'm doing it which before I couldn't. That has really helped me to overcome it.

I have spent a few years learning ways to express my emotions so that I wouldn't cut. The anger is the hardest thing to deal with. I have just used other outlets.

 

[Umber]

It makes me feel good.
By good, I mean, feel nothing, I suppose...it no longer hurts.
I'm going to really suffer if/when I get better, as I'll probably find it difficult to give up entirely.

 

[wmc1982]

did it in high school a few times...just when you feel no emotion, pain is better than nothing...and for some its a way to let others know your going through pain

 

[xMMKayx3]

Mine might have been for attention at first, but I stopped for awhile, and one night after a panic attack I just snapped. It's just a way for me to release feelings and inner pain, I suppose.

 

[aca_rev55]

If your free from the depression, why do you want to cut yourself?
I only cut when i'm down or really really low and when that fades and i start to see clear again, I HATE me for doing it, because i HATE the scars

It's habit... an addiction, of sorts. Kind of like a drug.

 

[HolyOne87]

hello, my name is linda and I have been a cutter for 16 years, I have not cut since last Oct!!! I started when I was 10 and it started first with just beating and then went to cutting. I did it because I was angry. My mom would always make me mad but I had no way to express that so I turned it inward. I also would do it because I felt that I deserved it, like if I messed up. I think those were the main reasons. Many times I was not present when I would cut and really couldn't feel it. Once I did cut then all my emotions would go away, which made me feel good because I didn't know what to do with all those emotions.

I have been trying to stop for maybe 6 years now. About 3 years ago I made a covenant with God to quit. Ever since then I have had a few setbacks but I have been present at the time and I can't seem to do as much as I used to. I can actually feel the pain as I'm doing it which before I couldn't. That has really helped me to overcome it.

I have spent a few years learning ways to express my emotions so that I wouldn't cut. The anger is the hardest thing to deal with. I have just used other outlets.

thats wonderful to hear that you havent cut since last October!! I am happy to hear that! way to go! keep it up!

 

[EmberFae]

Are you sad or are you doing it for the attention?
Do you rather feel fysical pain then physical pain?

I just do it cuz I don't want to feel that black "can't fill hole" in my soul. I just want the pain in my arm instead of the pain i feel in me.

What's your reason and what do you do to keep yourself from NOT doing it?

No it is not an attention seeking thing nor a teenage fad, I didn't pay much heed to it but I have noticed it has become "fashionable" and that sickens me,
So why did I do it ? Usually when I had quarreled or had an argument with someone, or felt so angry at something I would take it out on myself,
Sometimes I found the urge to do it on my face as I found it so ugly.
Other times it was to shut the thoughts up and silence them even for a few hours Alot would go round my head and I didnt find the si nice but the quiet time afterwards addictive,
I am not proud of it and it has stopped, save for the wanting to go and do it but it passes

 

[Emmaleuk]

I have only done it once in my life, which was recently. I was home alone and recieved something that really shocked and upset me...and I didn't know what to do...I was an emotional wreck and I just wanted to hurt myself physically so that I could forget about the pain that was inside of me.
I completely regretted it the day after...and I have promised myself, and God that I won't do it ever again.

 

[fragmentsofbeauty]

I do it as a way to calm down when I'm freaking out, when I can't feel it drives me crazy and so I do anything to feel something and it feels good to me, much better than everything else. It's also something I do out of frustration if I'm letting myself eat more than I want to.

 

[texannurse]

Why do I cut? I mostly do it to start to feel again and to get some sense of reality. I sometimes do it because I am so angry inside and I don't know of any other way to get the anger out.

 

[momgreenlady]

I have read several books on this and it amazes me how there are so many different reasons that people cut. There are even opposite reasons. Like some do it to feel again and others do it so they don't have to feel. Does that seem strange to anyone else? There is no one way to pinpoint this action.

 

[heavenliejediofthebeach]

i do it because im a loser..i do it to punish myself....

 

[eccl12.13]

at first i did it to punish myself for being who i wasn't....or not who my mom and sister told me i should be. it helped me feel strong because if i could withstand self-inflicted pain i knew i could be strong when pain was inflicted by others. then it became a sexual thing--i developed an attraction for it and became aroused by pain. it felt sexually satisfying. then i did it because i hated myself so much for listening to the lies of my mom and sister and because i was so angry for not knowing how to get out and start making positive progression. at that point it made me feel very bad.

god took away my addiction last aug but since then when i slip up it's because i am punishing myself for circumstances in my life beyond my control. like when my husband is depressed or when i feel like a failure. at times like this it makes me get my mind off the other pain and relieves some amount of the emotional pain.

 

[Sugar Plum]

I both cut,and hit to vent out my frustration,I also do it when I am upset with myself,I am not sure of the other reasons yet but those are the main 2 reasons.