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Thank you Jim. You held the mirror up very and well, and I didn't like what I saw looking back. Maybe I am closer to Michal than I thought.
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Still, I find much less to condemn in Michal than David or in her father Saul. To me Michal is pictured as an emotionally abused woman with a scoundrel for a father and in love with a rogue with a roving eye for a husband who viewed her more as a trophy than a wife. If see grew to despise David in her heart it had little to do with Davids, um, dance before the Lord and a lot to do with a long history of poor martial relationships. David sucked at being a husband and a father.
For all Davids virtues, we should not overlook the clear biblical picture of David as a man with many flaws, too. (I filed the following lesson that is not original with me--I would call it "David's Five Fatal Flaws as a Father and a Family Man"David made marriages with many women. Polygamy was never approved by God, but it was a common practice, even among Gods people. Just a glance at the divisive nature of a family in which there are multiple wives/mothers is a strong rebuke to the practice. But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband, 1 Corinthians 7.2. Rivalry between children is natural, but rivalry between wives was fatal to David.~Jim
David was distracted by his work as ruler of Israel. Every father will have distractions, for life has many facets. But no task is more arduous than that of a parent, and sufficient time must be set aside for that work. Too many fathers turn over the duties of rearing children to their mother. Even if she has the time to do so, she can never be father and mother; it takes both. While David was "being king," his own children were assaulting, murdering one another. Need I say more?
David did not provide appropriate discipline for his children. In 2 Samuel 13, Amnon (David¹s son by Ahinoam) assaulted Tamar (Davids daughter by Maacah). From the text it appears that David did nothing in the way of discipline. In addition to the fact that discipline was demanded for such evil behavior, its absence was cause for Absaloms vengeance, and that resulted in his exile and eventually his death in 2 Samuel 18. Near the end of his life, with yet another son after his life and vying for his throne, 1 Kings 1.6 adds this telling bit of commentary, Now his father, King David, had never disciplined him at any time, even by asking, Why are you doing that? As painful as it may be, fathers have an obligation to chasten their children. Later on one of Davids sons by yet another wife would observe, Discipline your children while there is hope, otherwise you will ruin their lives, Proverbs 19.18. Solomon was too young, perhaps born too late to fall into the rebellion and sins of his older brothers but was still the victim of a poor upbringing. He knew firsthand the heartaches that failure to discipline a child could lead to.
David failed to provide a good example as a husband and a father. The oft-told narrative of Davids adulterous liaison with Bathsheba is the life Absalom grew up with and remembered. The news of their sin was widespread. The entire nation, as well as the enemies of Jehovah, whispered of Davids sinful act. They were not and could not be swept under the rug. How could a young man like Absalom grow to manhood with the scandal of his father hovering over his head without it affecting his life? The lives of modern celebrities show similar effects on children. Fathers must provide a good example for their children concerning personal and social relationships.
David could not admit that he was wrong. This inability to say "Im sorry" seems to be a common trait among males. Even after Absalom returned from his exile, it was not in Davids character to speak to him as a father to his son. For all practical purposes, Absalom could have stayed in Geshur. David got even with him, all right, but it was a costly vengeance. It cost Absalom his life, and it cost David his family and his influence in Israel. Nor would David repair the breach in his marriage with Michal who had grown to despise him in her heart. When criticized by his wife for displaying himself before the young women of Jerusalem (a charge with some justification), David chose to defend himself rather than appease his a jealous wife. I am willing to look even more foolish than this, even to be humiliated in my own eyes! But those servant girls you mentioned will indeed think I am distinguished! 2 Samuel 6.22. In other words, You aint seen nothing yet.
Application. Fathers have a powerful impact upon their sons and their daughters. Of course, children can stray away from the training of even the most dedicated parents. But this can be limited by fathers who are willing to set a good example; who provide the discipline each child needs; who maintain a home in which God¹s will is honored; who take the time needed to be a godly father; and by fathers who are willing to admit their own weaknesses. Davids glaring and tragic mistakes as a husband and father, so clearly spelled out for us in scripture, speak volumes to parents today.
Mercy triumphs over judgment. ~James 2.13
