Why do we fight against change?

[memoriesbymichelle]

Even though change happens daily why do we fight against it? I hate change, but I also would not want my life to stay as it is today forever.

My son informed me last night that he wants to move out by the time he turns 20. He is in college and the army reserves. I was hoping he would stay until he graduates from college. I know he needs to be out on his own and I'm not against that.

I think it's because I don't have a spouse that this is more up front and personal for me.

Also at the beginning of next year we will probably be changing software for our accounting at work. I am not highly opposed to it, but you know there are always difficulties when switching things.

Younger son will be driving in a few months, so another change, hopefully a welcome one.

And lastly I have been a little disappointed in my current church lately. I know there is no perfect church, but I am tired of the topical sermons. I have voiced this before. I have visited another church, which is actually a church that many of my previous churches members flocked to when our pastor left. They are doing a study of Acts. Verse by verse, chapter by chapter. It's a year long study. I LOVED IT! But I am torn. Again it's the change thing and my older son likes the other church. Anyway I am praying about that.

But for ME, any kind of change I am always at first resistant about.
Anybody else like me? Or not?

 

[dayhiker]

Well, I can certainly relate to changes with computer software .. it worked fine for me, but to stay current I've had to change and they have moved the menus all around. No fun to figure out where the function is now!

Most times I still look forward to new things and new experiences.

But I just got a call that I have two tenants that are about to move out, will leave me with 3 that wouldn't be enough people to pay the rent ... so there is change coming it looks like, and I'm not excited about the unknown of what might happen. If they all move out, I need to do some work and then it will be late fall trying to rent it out again, not the best time of the year!

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I can relate!

Do you ever "sense" God maybe changing things up? Sometimes, not alot of times, but sometimes I can (or I think I can LOL) feel God either doing something in my life or that maybe He is about to and hence why all the happenings going on. I never actually figure out His plan ahead of time, but sometimes I think I can feel the rumblings.

 

[miss-a]

I'm not totally sure, but I think all change is to a certain degree stepping out of the boat onto the waves. Some waves are crashing, others are calmly lapping the side of the boat. But we remember that some waters have sharks, maybe we've even lost a limb or two to them in the past. And so we've got to believe Jesus is there, and He's being all invisible and all, and that can make it hard.

I also think sometimes to not like certain changes is a function of our God-given wisdom. Sometimes it just ain't broke and it don't need fixin', but someone always needs to build a better mousetrap, even if the current trap works just fine and the only thing the new one does is give the mice a belly ache from laughing at how easy it was to grab the bait and escape.

 

[LnghrnFan]

I agree change is hard, but it's part of life. We have to adapt to survive. And maybe the Lord is bringing all of this change into your life right now for a reason Blessings to you!

 

[Purge187]

I can relate!

Do you ever "sense" God maybe changing things up? Sometimes, not alot of times, but sometimes I can (or I think I can LOL) feel God either doing something in my life or that maybe He is about to and hence why all the happenings going on. I never actually figure out His plan ahead of time, but sometimes I think I can feel the rumblings.

God can and will "direct our paths" when He needs to, and being a creature of habit myself, that can sometimes be an intimidating prospect. But He knows what He's doing.

I just started a new type of job at my workplace and there are methods that may take some time to get down-pat, but I'm sure I'll get better with practice. I was also having dinner with a young lady from my church who said she felt God asking her to attend another church, and she made me realize that perhaps it was time for me to make a change, too.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

God can and will "direct our paths" when He needs to, and being a creature of habit myself, that can sometimes be an intimidating prospect. But He knows what He's doing.

I just started a new type of job at my workplace and there are methods that may take some time to get down-pat, but I'm sure I'll get better with practice. I was also having dinner with a young lady from my church who said she felt God asking her to attend another church, and she made me realize that perhaps it was time for me to make a change, too.

Changing churches is semi hard for me. On the one hand, when my previous church's pastor decided he wanted to go on the other side of town to an established church, alot of people left and went to one church. I went to a different church. I REALLY loved the church from the moment we went and it was weird because I was actually remembering the sermon. In fact I can still tell you that the first service I attended the pastor spoke about Acts chapter 2 and his "hook line" was "Everyone, devoted Everything, Everyday".
What is additionally weird, is one of my friends from the previous church put a posting on FB saying that his church was doing a year long teaching in the book of Acts! I went last Sunday and the Pastor was actually going thru the Word! Verse by verse! Something that I haven't witnessed in a very long time. So many people don't read their bible and then the Pastors do topical sermons and the people just believe the Pastor. It's the "sheep" in us, I believe.
So I am leaning on switching, but feeling in the middle at the moment.

 

[TheyCallMeDavid]

Even though change happens daily why do we fight against it? I hate change, but I also would not want my life to stay as it is today forever.

My son informed me last night that he wants to move out by the time he turns 20. He is in college and the army reserves. I was hoping he would stay until he graduates from college. I know he needs to be out on his own and I'm not against that.

I think it's because I don't have a spouse that this is more up front and personal for me.

Also at the beginning of next year we will probably be changing software for our accounting at work. I am not highly opposed to it, but you know there are always difficulties when switching things.

Younger son will be driving in a few months, so another change, hopefully a welcome one.

And lastly I have been a little disappointed in my current church lately. I know there is no perfect church, but I am tired of the topical sermons. I have voiced this before. I have visited another church, which is actually a church that many of my previous churches members flocked to when our pastor left. They are doing a study of Acts. Verse by verse, chapter by chapter. It's a year long study. I LOVED IT! But I am torn. Again it's the change thing and my older son likes the other church. Anyway I am praying about that.

But for ME, any kind of change I am always at first resistant about.
Anybody else like me? Or not?

Hi Michelle. Heres a few thoughts i have :

a. Change is inevitable in this life ; it comes by way of good, bad, and indifferent. A very big part of the life experience, is to accomodate the changes that occur / take a stand against them when they are truly harmful or evil / and to know when and how to apply both actions above. Life is all about change and what we do with them ; the challenge comes when we see it as adversity to our status quo which we've become comfortable toward. I can say that most of the changes in my lifetime, have been good in the sense that theyve made me a stronger person even though a good many experiences have been like an iron rod being pounded into shape using fire..lol... Something else ive learned is : Not to get blown away by changes that come along...and to try hard to roll with the changes by not taking life too seriously to the point of despairity . Leaning on God for direction is absolutely essential to remain vigilant and an Overcomer .

b. When a church ive attended starts to wane as far as my expectations are concerned..i have supplemented that church with other christian resources found online, on tv/radio, thru bible studies with friends , or from books...to fill the gap. There was a point in time that i would abruptly leave a church if a few weeks of non challenging sermons were given ..but ive since tried hard to find harmony and to extend charity wherever possible so long as the Pastor/Church maintains a definitive biblical appeal , incorporates the Gospel Message regularly for the unsaved to respond to , and which is not decidedly toxic in any way. I guess that too, is all part of the change experience which requires me to adapt . Im of the opinion that christian churches should not be a revolving door unless there is a strong continuous (ethical/moral/spiritual principle) breach especially from the Pastoral Staff and/or Church Board.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Thanks TheyCallMeDavid, I agree with your comments.

I know there is no perfect church. I have been attending this church since 2009 I think? I have been OK with most of what goes on there. I'm sure there is always going to be something with every church. When I first started to get irritated was when I was attending the 10:30 service. They kept badgering us regulars to attend a different service because our service was the most popular for visitors. I finally gave in and switched to the 9:00 service. The only reason I liked the 10:30 is so my teenagers wouldn't whine about getting up so early. So now we are one church in multiple locations which means that the 9:00 service is "live" and the other services are on a big screen. No biggie. So then they started badgering us about moving to one of the other locations so we could make that location just like ours (we partnered with another church that agreed to merge with us). So THEN a bunch of people moved over to the other location. Then they started bagering us to serve at our location because so many people went over to the other location. OK all that is really no biggie either.
So we have "Series" messages. The one that made me think about leaving was the one called "Reserved" When we came in there were signs on some of the chairs saying "reserved" and the Series was about how most people go to church because someone invited them, so they want us to invite people to church. And it was about how to overcome the "obstacles" of people you ask not wanting to attend. OK well my thought was what if they came for THIS series? How would it help them to know or meet Jesus? And what is the "church" doing once they get here? I never hear about people accepting Jesus. I hear about them getting baptized. We have baptism services. To me, it was more about increasing numbers of attenders, which has NO indication of whether you are following the Lord or not IMO. So the Series they are on now is called The Elephant in the room. So for me, I guess I just need something more than 50 ways to be a better christian.

 

[grasping the after wind]

I enjoy positive change and look forward to it. As long as the change is for the better I am all for it. When the change is for the worse I oppose it. Sometimes the only way to tell whether it is for the better or the worse is to implement it and unfortunately, if the change is then found to be for the worse,those that dislike change then unite with those that have a vested interest in the now status quo making it next to impossible to get rid of the change that was for the worse. Sometimes the change is so patently obviously for the better or the worse that one wonders either why anyone would oppose it or why anyone would propose it.

 

[If Not For Grace]

JMO But I believe we only have two emotions; Love & Fear. All the things we perceive as "good" (Kindness, compassion, empathy) derive from good. Fear I believe was given as a sort of flag, to give us cause for pause, to danger..(Fight or flight response). When improperly managed Fear can turn in to worry, distress, resentment and when it festers even hate.

I know of nothing mankind fears more than the "unknown". Our sense of logic, tendency toward problem solving are good things, but when the seeming "answer or solution" is not quickly apparent we become fearful and anxious. There is also the matter of our will..it's the old "there is a way that seems right unto man" deal. We have a certain way we THINK we would like things to turn out and if we perceive something might go contrary to that we become fearful.

The conclusion is that through operant conditioning we resist change due to our experiences that change equal something not in "our" plans. Change therefore becomes associated with a negative rather than a positive. (When we were younger we looked forward and even sought to facilitate change ) The older we are the more experience we have, we grow tired of having to learn new things, make adjustments etc and our level of Fear rises more quickly each time we perceive "change" is in the air. Just some of my thoughts.

We can however realize that Fear is an emotion and therefore not fact. Fear is sometimes given the acronym of False Evidence Appearing Real. I believe this to be so. Fear is often false where as Danger is real. As a society we have blurred the lines, but as a spiritual people we can with effort discern the two and take action to attend to danger (using knowledge & preparation as best we can) and reduce the time we spend in fear and there by resistance to change. Requires Effort.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

JMO But I believe we only have two emotions; Love & Fear. All the things we perceive as "good" (Kindness, compassion, empathy) derive from good. Fear I believe was given as a sort of flag, to give us cause for pause, to danger..(Fight or flight response). When improperly managed Fear can turn in to worry, distress, resentment and when it festers even hate.

I know of nothing mankind fears more than the "unknown". Our sense of logic, tendency toward problem solving are good things, but when the seeming "answer or solution" is not quickly apparent we become fearful and anxious. There is also the matter of our will..it's the old "there is a way that seems right unto man" deal. We have a certain way we THINK we would like things to turn out and if we perceive something might go contrary to that we become fearful.

The conclusion is that through operant conditioning we resist change due to our experiences that change equal something not in "our" plans. Change therefore becomes associated with a negative rather than a positive. (When we were younger we looked forward and even sought to facilitate change ) The older we are the more experience we have, we grow tired of having to learn new things, make adjustments etc and our level of Fear rises more quickly each time we perceive "change" is in the air. Just some of my thoughts.

We can however realize that Fear is an emotion and therefore not fact. Fear is sometimes given the acronym of False Evidence Appearing Real. I believe this to be so. Fear is often false where as Danger is real. As a society we have blurred the lines, but as a spiritual people we can with effort discern the two and take action to attend to danger (using knowledge & preparation as best we can) and reduce the time we spend in fear and there by resistance to change. Requires Effort.

I do agree with you!

 

[sparkydave]

You're not alone in feeling uneasy about change, Michelle. My company has gone through a lot of changes over the last couple years; starting with being acquired by another company and gradually having to adjust to changes they have been handing down. Ever see Star Trek? The line "We are Borg. You will be assimilated." comes to mind. Not surprisingly, several people, including the boss I liked working for, decided to find other opportunities. They seem to like having me around, I like the seniority I have, and my reviews have been positive. Our new boss was already well known to my group, and he seems to be working out fine so far.

Our pastor at the church I joined 2 years ago announced 2 weeks ago that he had a calling to minister at another church in Florida. Even over the last year we had our youth pastor and music director go off and start their own church. I'm sticking around because I have faith we'll find a new pastor that we'll like, and since I have a couple of responsibilities like taking care of our baptistry and helping with lights and sound I think our church needs me. Besides, I'm thinking since our pastor's son will be missing from our church band, maybe it behooves me to put my guitar lessons to use and see about taking his place.

Change is inevitable, but we learn to adapt.

 

[TheyCallMeDavid]

Thanks TheyCallMeDavid, I agree with your comments.

I know there is no perfect church. I have been attending this church since 2009 I think? I have been OK with most of what goes on there. I'm sure there is always going to be something with every church. When I first started to get irritated was when I was attending the 10:30 service. They kept badgering us regulars to attend a different service because our service was the most popular for visitors. I finally gave in and switched to the 9:00 service. The only reason I liked the 10:30 is so my teenagers wouldn't whine about getting up so early. So now we are one church in multiple locations which means that the 9:00 service is "live" and the other services are on a big screen. No biggie. So then they started badgering us about moving to one of the other locations so we could make that location just like ours (we partnered with another church that agreed to merge with us). So THEN a bunch of people moved over to the other location. Then they started bagering us to serve at our location because so many people went over to the other location. OK all that is really no biggie either.
So we have "Series" messages. The one that made me think about leaving was the one called "Reserved" When we came in there were signs on some of the chairs saying "reserved" and the Series was about how most people go to church because someone invited them, so they want us to invite people to church. And it was about how to overcome the "obstacles" of people you ask not wanting to attend. OK well my thought was what if they came for THIS series? How would it help them to know or meet Jesus? And what is the "church" doing once they get here? I never hear about people accepting Jesus. I hear about them getting baptized. We have baptism services. To me, it was more about increasing numbers of attenders, which has NO indication of whether you are following the Lord or not IMO. So the Series they are on now is called The Elephant in the room. So for me, I guess I just need something more than 50 ways to be a better christian.

Thanks for explaining. I reckon God gives us all the freewill choice of what church to be a part of so long as the fundamentals exist such as : Good clear teaching from the Bible with the Gospel Message incorporated into the Service at some point / a propensity toward evangelism and community outreach thru ministries / opportunities for people to serve in some capacity even if they dont feel 'called' to do so / and the opportunity to experience community thru the making of new friendships , sharing, and encouraging others along their path (and also them toward you) .

There have been times that i have left a local church because there was a severe deficiency in one or more of these above ... and I still would today except I am far more careful in making such a crucial decision , take my time in my analysis to be sure it is based on objective reasons and standards , etc... And before i decide to permanently leave a church, i first give a few other churchs a visit on Sunday morning (spaced) and pray about a possible change . If there is any reservation in my heart, then i stay put until the reservation evaporates which typically means that the situation under consideration has become far more evident and grave.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

So this morning I was reading the Word as I always do. I like to read the Proverb of the day, and then I have a little study that is in my bible. It's like 30 lessons. Today I started a new one and it was on "change". The bible I am currently using is a Charles Stanley Life Principle Bible and He references a scripture and then gives a little commentary sermon on it, or the people in the scripture. I don't always agree with him, but today was inspiring because I felt God talking to me.
Charles was saying that once they were in a position of having to relocate their ministry offices and they found a perfect property but it was 2.7 mil and they were considering borrowing the money or not and they were divided. So Charles Stanley had his secretary get them set up in cabins that were usually booked at that time of year so they could go and meditate and pray! So they got the cabins just like that, and they went up and did little talking to each other but alot of praying to God. He had also asked his administrator to see if they could get an extension on moving for 6 months. He also asked another person to see if they could negotiate the building for 2 mil instead of 2.7 mil. When they left they were still not sure what they were going to do, or what God wanted them to do, but they had asked God for direction and were waiting on Him. So the next day Charles Stanley got a call from someone he did not know, and the person said he noticed that Charles never asked for money on his shows and he wondered if they had any needs. Charles said he didn't know whether to tell the guy or not, but he decided to tell him about their needing to move and about the property that was 2. 7 mil. He explained that he thought they could maybe get it for 2 mil but they didn't know how they would finance it. The guy says "I think I can handle the 2 mil" !!!! The administrator was able to get them an extension to stay an additional 6 months and the negotiator of the property said they could get it for 2 mil but there was a tenant in there now that had an additional 6 months on their lease! Seriously? God is the only one that could have orchestrated all that so perfectly.
The point of all of it, was that I just need to pray more and cry out to God. He will not let me down if I seek Him first. Whether it be about changing churches or my second job, I can count on Him Praise the Lord!

 

[dayhiker]

Love testimonies like that. Thanks for sharing it Michelle

 

[MorkandMindy]

Even though change happens daily why do we fight against it? I hate change, but I also would not want my life to stay as it is today forever.

...
But for ME, any kind of change I am always at first resistant about.
Anybody else like me? Or not?

I can relate to the matter of change - I've had too much of it over the past 6 years to want any more, yet in the end it has worked out rather well.

I think the core issue is both of my parents are negative, and I'm always pessimistic about the future and unknown events. Although I try to keep everything the same, and don't tend to go places I haven't been before, yet I find doing something entirely new is exhilarating.

I don't understand it. Maybe I like change and variety but am just plain too fearful.

 

[MorkandMindy]

I would never have chosen to leave where I lived and my wife, but for some reason she decided that would happen.


I've recently realised that for decades I I was sleep deprived. Wife always stayed up as late as possible watching TV into the wee hours whereas I had to get up at 6 AM to go to work, she only got up 8:15, and that on school days, so she wasn't bothered about going to bed late and could sleep during the afternoons as well, and the children were my problem evenings and weekends. She would shout at me if I got back after 6:30 PM when Simpsons had ended because the children were fine after school and watched TV but stopped at the end of the Simpsons, so I had to be there or else she would have to look after them and that was not part of the deal.


They were my responsibility evenings and weekends so she could catch up with sleep on weekends as well as afternoons when they were at school.


So I would get 5 hours of sleep per night, at best, all year long and everything I did seemed a struggle. If I had to think I fell asleep.

Now I can do tons of things I never could do and have lots more get up and go. I wouldn't have chosen it but my life is a lot better and no way would I go back.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I do find it interesting that while I resist change, it usually works out for the better. And going back never works because things back "there" didn't stay the same either.

I actually WANT some change, but I am also not in the right frame of mind to DO all the changes I want (like exercising and eating right for 2)

But I also know that if I always do what I've always done I will always get what I've always gotten so....

 

[iambren]

"Always predictable yet never boring"--quote from iambren's ex-wife

Good topic Michelle as always. Change is a battling theme within me. I like the continuity of sameness all the while loathing the boredom that comes with it. It seems for me is that God simply changes the whole scenery and life is refreshed.


Then my challenge is getting my feet planted. I'm an ADD sufferer so change is hard in that way;all of life is topsy-turvy and I'm desperate not to miss too much. I don't know HOW a person could punch a time-clock,have their morning coffee,then go about the same job until they die. In a way I envy them,I would be brain dead.