Why do people...

[kbbshark]

Why do some people bring themselves down…no no, why do people feel as if they are not important in peoples lives? I mean like why would someone feel as if they aren’t important in my life? Every single person I have met in my life touches my in a way no one else ever will. Some are funny, some are nice, some are mean, some have problems, some I love, some I hate, and some are just some. But no matter what significance they have in my life is just as important as the next person. That’s what people fail to realize, one girl the other night said she isn’t important and I should just forget about her. But I said to her you are my friend and you are important. You mean a lot to me as a friend. And that will never change. People must understand that they mean so much to the people around them and they should never bring themselves down or even worse take themselves out of the peoples lives that love them dearly. If they do this they not only crush people’s lives but also alter them significantly. I know it sounds crazy but it’s oh so true! I mean come on people can’t you realize that no matter how nerdy you may be or how dumb you are…or even how mean you can be. You shape that persons life. Without you they would be different and probably not the better. And I know you must be thinking even people that hate me? Well just live your life and don’t hate them. They still shape your life. And mean a lot to you. Unless they are like really mean but that’s not what I am trying to say. NEVER GET YOURSELF DOWN AND NEVER FEEL AS IF YOUR LOWER THAN ANYONE ELSE! Because your not and you never will be. You are you and that’s what people love about you.

 

[led]

Every single person I have met in my life touches my in a way no one else ever will.

*p0ke*


hee. I touched your life

 

[* kittie *]

But I said to her you are my friend and you are important. You mean a lot to me as a friend. And that will never change. People must understand that they mean so much to the people around them and they should never bring themselves down or even worse take themselves out of the peoples lives that love them dearly.

i wish it were as easy as that. that a simple few words could cure years of pain.
but...it's not that people hold onto pain. it's not like they choose to believe low about themselves.

...i don't know how to explain. how to show you why there are so many questions, even after you assure them.

it sucks...

 

[* kittie *]

Why do I mean come on people can’t you realize that no matter how nerdy you may be or how dumb you are…or even how mean you can be. You shape that persons life. Without you they would be different and probably not the better.

hmmm...however...that is something i cannot believe.
my biggest concern isn't the haters. i don't think i had very many haters in my life...except the normal few most everybody has.

...but how is it possible that you matter to someone if all they do is leave...or forget?
or...everything you think or enjoy...they have to question...as if you have some big flaw or character deformity?

the whole idea sounds great. and i'm sure it applies to some people. but...no. i don't see how that can apply to everyone.

 

[waitingprincess]

i wish it were as easy as that. that a simple few words could cure years of pain.
but...it's not that people hold onto pain. it's not like they choose to believe low about themselves.

...i don't know how to explain. how to show you why there are so many questions, even after you assure them.

it sucks...

Maybe it's different, easier to understand, when someone close to you killed themselves and did take themselves out of your life...but I don't know...I agree with everything he said...it's helped me a lot!

 

[waitingprincess]

hmmm...however...that is something i cannot believe.
my biggest concern isn't the haters. i don't think i had very many haters in my life...except the normal few most everybody has.

...but how is it possible that you matter to someone if all they do is leave...or forget?
or...everything you think or enjoy...they have to question...as if you have some big flaw or character deformity?

the whole idea sounds great. and i'm sure it applies to some people. but...no. i don't see how that can apply to everyone.

I know that that's true for me. People have left me, but not because I didn't mean anything to them or they didn't care but because they thought I'd be better off, but I wasn't. He is saying that no matter who you are, you are important to everyone around you in unique ways. Jus tbecause you are you and no one else can be exactly like you...each day you are a new encounter for those you meet and that's what keeps them interested. Even when you don't think you are doing any good being in someone's life, you are...without you they would be different! That's just how it works!

Thanks Kendall,
Melinda

 

[* kittie *]

i still don't see how that's true.
i mean...i try to live life thinking the same way. "who cares what other people think" and "you're just as important as everyone else".

actually, that's pretty much my anthem. i hate it when people belittle others, because i see everyone as equal. that's what i want to be ya know...someone who fights for that.

however...it's not easy to see myself as anything good.
the two thoughts (equality and negativity) contradict each other...
...but thinking that way doesn't automatically mean everything is going to be okay.

anyways as for the other reply, i have had friends kill themselves. and they have meant a lot to me. even though they hated themselves, i thought they were wonderful.
but still...i don't see how i matter to anyone. i really don't.

i'm not trying to be negative. i'm just being honest as to how i feel so that i can give another viewpoint on this matter.
i mean...i'm not friendless cause people dont' try. well...i don't know, cause some don't.
but um...for example, i know that my brother's wife tries her best to be a friend to me. but still...there are days...


basically, i'm friendless cause i get paranoid and i think people are plotting against me...or talking about me. or...i think i'm just a nuisance. it really changes day to day. i could feel important one day, and not the next. encouragement can help one day...and frustrate me the next.

anyways....yeah.

oh yeah...i replied cause he was wondering why people feel that way. i'm not saying he's completely wrong. i'm just explaining why pep talk doesn't always help...forever.

 

[kbbshark]

You do matter, the point of the post was to let you know that in the smallest detail that you do have an effect on people in your life. May it be small or large, people will meet you, and have a thought of you, they may like you or they may hate you. And that will be with them, how largely that may effect them, I am not sure. But the point wasnt to show that you matter to someone else on a large scale, it just means people knowing you have been effected by the fact that they have met you. At the time when I wrote this, the girl I had been talking to thought her friends hated her, and thought no one liked her...I said "hey, you're talking to me and I am your friend, doesnt that show you something?" I liked her, she was a good friend of mine, I tried to explain how she has impacted my life and I am sure she has effected others lives. You also have to understand that she impacted me on a large scale, and these friends that she thought hated her and could care less about her had been effected, the hate in which they may have had for her sprouted from the very fact that they had met, therefor effecting their lives. I guess i can agree with it not being the same for everyone but I also cant agree with that because it does apply to everyone just not as much for some. SOrry my thoughts are kind of scattered on this topic, but write back and try and explain more so I can provide you with an answer that will satisfy your thirst of knowledge on this topic.

Kendall

 

[* kittie *]

i know, i agree that people matter. that we effect each other.

i was just explaining why it's not that easy.

i know my fears are irrational...but that's what makes it so hard to solve i guess. i mean...i have told my mother several times that i wanted to move out on my own because i felt as if i was a burden to her and my brother. does that sound normal to you? well...no matter how odd that sounds to you...it feels too real to me. and honestly...that's not something you just make up. and so...it's not so easily solveable.

i mean if i want to work on it...it will lots of time and effort. not just a "realization that i matter".

because underneath those feelings of "no one cares", there are years of self-hatred and blah blah blah. it's not just a single problem. and so no matter how irrational they may seem to someone else...my feelings of unworthiness are...

that's one reason why people may feel that way.

i was replying to this part.

Why do some people bring themselves down…no no, why do people feel as if they are not important in peoples lives?

back to my brother's wife. before she got married, i was afraid that she would stop talking to me once she got married. after she did...she reassured me that she would always be my friend.

few days later, i started accusing everyone of lying and hating me. i also started fearing that maybe she changed her mind, and that she really didn't want to talk to me.

...

 

[* kittie *]

sorry...don't mean to sound argumentive. i do agree...but i also agree with every other person.

 

[kbbshark]

Why did you start accusing everyone of lying? Also, I know it isnt easy, and who said things in this world come easy.Of course they are hard but thats when it comes down to God being by your side and giving you strength, in more ways than one. I mean it doesnt sound odd to hear about someone who feels like a burden to their family...but what they do have to realize, no matter how hard it is...that deep down if they were a burden, then they would get kicked out or what not> They wouldnt have to make the choice. Becuase deep down I am sure your family loves you. I know mine has to, even though my sister's always treat me like ****;-) Ya get what I am saying? I am sorry it is so hard for you!! have you had a chance to look at my other posts?

 

[* kittie *]

Why did you start accusing everyone of lying?

i know my fears are irrational...but that's what makes it so hard to solve i guess.

because underneath those feelings of "no one cares", there are years of self-hatred and blah blah blah. it's not just a single problem. and so no matter how irrational they may seem to someone else...my feelings of unworthiness are...

no matter how much i realize...that feeling doesn't remain. one day i'll get extra scared, and run off. it's just how it is. don't know why.

 

[kbbshark]

Well now I understand, but sweets...its like this, I told this to someone before...I dont remember when, but Why Do you think God put Faces on the front of people instead of the back? It's so we can look forward at our lives and where we will be, spiritually and mentally...as opposed to the back, because we shouldnt be looking at the past in regret and worry, we shouldnt look at who we once were but the changes ahead of us. Those years of self-hatred should go away if you just concentrate on the now, the present time. Look life is already changing for you, because you are talking with me...DOesnt that show you anything? I find you to be a good person, because for one. You are own Christian fourms, so your faith means a lot to you. Two, you seem like a good person with a good heart. I am sure others think so too, maybe not expressed but i know you are good. So no worries. Life gets better.

 

[* kittie *]

nvm.

i came to CF a long time ago. so...um..

i'm not sure why i talked. i think i was too open..so i'm done.

 

[kbbshark]

Oh? did i offend your or something?

 

[* kittie *]

oh no. i don't want to talk about it, that's all. sorry...i was busy playing a game. sorry for the late reply.

 

[* kittie *]

wow...i did sound harsh there. sorry about that.

 

[TheOriginalWhitehorse]

Why do some people bring themselves down…no no, why do people feel as if they are not important in peoples lives? I mean like why would someone feel as if they aren’t important in my life? Every single person I have met in my life touches my in a way no one else ever will. Some are funny, some are nice, some are mean, some have problems, some I love, some I hate, and some are just some. But no matter what significance they have in my life is just as important as the next person. That’s what people fail to realize, one girl the other night said she isn’t important and I should just forget about her. But I said to her you are my friend and you are important. You mean a lot to me as a friend. And that will never change. People must understand that they mean so much to the people around them and they should never bring themselves down or even worse take themselves out of the peoples lives that love them dearly. If they do this they not only crush people’s lives but also alter them significantly. I know it sounds crazy but it’s oh so true! I mean come on people can’t you realize that no matter how nerdy you may be or how dumb you are…or even how mean you can be. You shape that persons life. Without you they would be different and probably not the better. And I know you must be thinking even people that hate me? Well just live your life and don’t hate them. They still shape your life. And mean a lot to you. Unless they are like really mean but that’s not what I am trying to say. NEVER GET YOURSELF DOWN AND NEVER FEEL AS IF YOUR LOWER THAN ANYONE ELSE! Because your not and you never will be. You are you and that’s what people love about you.

A lot of it has to do with people's levels of connection with others. Even if people have impact, they don't always feel connection. It's a very complex issue. And a very interesting one-a neat idea for a thread.

 

[TheThirdLink]

I read everything you guys said. Although, I find it to be strange that a friend I had would stick by my side one day then leave me the next day because of one mistake I made. It made me feel worthless.

 

[TheOriginalWhitehorse]

Well, I don't know what the details are of the situation, but I can say this: we all make mistakes. Your friend will make them, too; its part of life here on earth and you can't really be close to someone without getting to know both their beauty and their faults. Maybe you can still work things out.