This kinda goes with what Fatolia was saying in Uggg I feel like a girl. Okay I dont feel like a girl but I have some questions. All my life I have seen lots of relationships that were not "healthy" so to say. All because the girl is so in love with the man but why??? The man treats her like ****. Always speaks to her profainly and just flat out mean. My cousin, aunt, and another aunt are going through this as we speak. I am really close to my cousin and she calls me when she is having problems with her husband. I can recall 10-15 times she told me it was over and it wasn't. I love my cousin and I don't like seeing her unhappy. But she always says But I love him Torey. He has committed adultry I dont know how many times and she doesn't leave. And I am always the nice guy that comes to the rescue, but as soon as he apologizes it's like it never happened. Then the next day ring ring she calls again. I have been a quite a few relationships and MOST of them I did nothing wrong. I was sweet, caring, gentle. Everything a girl supposedly wants right. "WRONG" They end up falling for some guy that may be a little better looking. But mentally they are tore up. Then once the guy gets the girl and knows he has her everything changes, His "true" self comes out but the girl is already "so into" him that she can't leave. I lost the woman I thought I was gonna marry because of this, I was with her for 3 years and then bam this guy swept her off of her feet. We had our own place and just like that it's all gone. Her and I are still friends today but she just had his baby and he's in prison. When they started living together before he went to prison My mother was staying with them. (don't ask long story really long). She told me that he was going out with a different girl every night and my ex knew. Not only that but he was mentally and physically abusive to her. Needless to say I am still her friend and I talk to her over the computer but she is still so into him and awaiting his release from prison. Somebody Please help.
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Why do nice guys finish last???
- Thread starter torey816
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Spicy McHaggis
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probably for the same reason us men still go after the wrong girls.
It's a blessing in disguise because God closes the doors he doesn't want us to walk through.
It's a blessing in disguise because God closes the doors he doesn't want us to walk through.
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1) some girls just become attracted to the bad boys, because they get [false] love and attention to them, then they're hooked and don't think they deserve better
2) the 'good girls' find the 'good guys' but they're not right for them.. (no attraction)
the list is endless.
2) the 'good girls' find the 'good guys' but they're not right for them.. (no attraction)
the list is endless.
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boilerblues
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Look at it this way, you didn't end up staying with someone that makes some pretty poor decisions. It's too bad for her, but it spares you some unneeded trouble in the long run.
I think we can chalk the girls going after the bad boys (and boys going after the bad girls) up to people choosing to seek the things of this world rather than the things of God.
I try to be good or nice, I still suffer from terminal humanness (and terminal maleness). I trust there's a reason God still has me single, I'm trusting Him and I know He has someone who will be a blessing to me and I pray I will be a blessing to her.
I think we can chalk the girls going after the bad boys (and boys going after the bad girls) up to people choosing to seek the things of this world rather than the things of God.
I try to be good or nice, I still suffer from terminal humanness (and terminal maleness). I trust there's a reason God still has me single, I'm trusting Him and I know He has someone who will be a blessing to me and I pray I will be a blessing to her.
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JPPT1974
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Steph said:1) some girls just become attracted to the bad boys, because they get [false] love and attention to them, then they're hooked and don't think they deserve better
2) the 'good girls' find the 'good guys' but they're not right for them.. (no attraction)
the list is endless.
The list is endless indeed! Good point!!
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JPPT1974 said:
yeah well like i said. it doesnt seem like i am ever gonna find that special one. I treat women so well and I basically get spat on. But God does have something for me and I keep reminding myself that
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the_man
" My heart is spoken for&
torey816 said:
Seems like that may very well be your problem. You keep going back for more it seems. (if i have observed incorrectly let me know).
The "nice guys" that finish last don't have a vertebrae, want to please everyone and are worred about everyone (everywoman) liking them. The guys that don't finish last are not nice...at least not in that way. They stand up for what they believe in, are confident in themselves and not afraid to call a lady out when she is in the wrong.
The other thing is guys that don't finish last are not too worried about women that choose to be in abusive relationships. They don't feel the need to convince them that there are "nice" guys out there that will treat her better. Frankly, her choice, her life, her loss.
Personally, I'd prefer to leave an impression on a woman than for her to say "oh, he's nice" even if it is a bad impression.
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Imagine_your_dreams
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i know its hard sometimes, but you have to remember that not all girls are like that and that God does have a plan for your life, whether it includes a significant other or not...I'm really working on that myself right now, just trying to really focus on God and allowing Him to bring me satisfaction with my life how only He can...its an ongoing process, but I believe its worth it.
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Niels
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In the vast majority of cases, I doubt that 'niceness' even the problem. Instead of looking at our faults, we try to decieve ourselves into thinking we're too perfect for others. Maybe the proverbial 'nice guy' isn't nicer than most guys... just socially awkward?
Also, what does this mean for guys (and girls) who married young? Are these people somehow 'not nice' by default? That sounds awfully unfair to me.
Also, what does this mean for guys (and girls) who married young? Are these people somehow 'not nice' by default? That sounds awfully unfair to me.
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torey816 said:
So how do you define finishing first? Are the guys you described finishing first? They're getting into messed up relationships, abusing women, going to prison, and begetting children who are going to grow up without a father present. If that's finishing first, sign me up for finishing last.
If life is a race, what is the finish line? The goal of life isn't to be the first on the block to find a romantic partner and get married off. If that's the goal you're running towards, you're missing the point. In life, finishing first isn't the way to win. Everyone finishes the race of life eventually - and more important than when we finish is how we ran.
Even in romance, finishing first isn't the way to win. It's much better to take time and find a really good relationship than to rush into things too quickly just for the sake of finishing first and having a 'prize'. You may think that you're finishing last because you don't yet have a spouse and some of the other guys you describe do. But in reality, you likely have a better life than they do.
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bubblegirl23
Resident bubble chick
We don't always know what they're like. When we work it out, they threaten us. It's only through gaining bravery we get out.
Give her time - in desperation, God will open doors
Give her time - in desperation, God will open doors
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Of course, this isn't anything anybody wants to hear, but... don't be desperate.
God will give you the special person at the right time, when YOU are ready. Until that time comes, focus on your relationship with Him and other things in your life.
God will give you the special person at the right time, when YOU are ready. Until that time comes, focus on your relationship with Him and other things in your life.
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Steph said:Of course, this isn't anything anybody wants to hear, but... don't be desperate.
God will give you the special person at the right time, when YOU are ready. Until that time comes, focus on your relationship with Him and other things in your life.
Thanks Steph but desperate isnt the problem, I was just wondering why I get caught up in relationships like this and thats why I wrote this post. And alot of your responses I have firgured out my answer. God doesn't want me to have a relationship yet. I have been through alot in my life that no one but family knows about..... I see where my problems are now.... I have been to worried about finding the right one when the right one is right in front of me. GOD is the one and everything else will come when I put everything I have into him. Thank you for everyone feedback
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It's so complicated.
relationships have really twisted my wire. From what I gather, people are sometimes rebelling from their upbringing. It's so stupid.
Girls, Your heart goes out to the bad guys or the guys you can't have cause you feel their ego trip? Did you see what they do when you aren't around?
It's like when someone says 'no, do not open the can of worms'. Sooner or later, what do they do? why bother giving in to that?
What's sad is other people in their lives are taking the abuse. There is less accountability in these relationships (As far as I know).
relationships have really twisted my wire. From what I gather, people are sometimes rebelling from their upbringing. It's so stupid.
Girls, Your heart goes out to the bad guys or the guys you can't have cause you feel their ego trip? Did you see what they do when you aren't around?
It's like when someone says 'no, do not open the can of worms'. Sooner or later, what do they do? why bother giving in to that?
What's sad is other people in their lives are taking the abuse. There is less accountability in these relationships (As far as I know).
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JPPT1974
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mrkguy75 said:
Hey I am a nice girl but sometimes I think the good ones always get away while we are left with the not-so good ones. That have a rotten attitude if you ask me.
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