Why Do I........

[72_Chev_Truck]

Why do I yearn for something in the past, something at the time that was incredible to me, something that has caused me well over a year of pain, something that brought me to Christ?

Is it because I've been single so long? Is it because it was the greatest relationship I've ever had despite the fact she cheated on me? Is it lust? Is it love? Is it waking up to someone beside you so beautiful that you cant wait to cement the relationship in marriage?

I look back on my relationship with Christine. I met her my freshman year of college about the second day I got there. I thought she was cute so I hung out with her, my friend from high school also thought she was cute and he proceeded to date her for about a week until they broke up. Me being the guy that I am helped her out, let her know that he was dumb like that. Just tried to be her friend. About 2 weeks later we were dating and about a month after that we were... ahem. To me this was a wonderful relationship, she liked cars, movies, and having fun. All around nice person so I thought. About 6 months into the relationship she went on a road trip with one of her girlfriends and 2 other guys. I knew what was up before it happened and when she returned this made me know for sure that she had cheated on me. I stuck with the relationship out to about 10 months where she wanted to take a break. Her way of saying im sorry but we cant be together any more. 2 months after this I called her and said "Im sorry but I cant take this pain anymore, Goodbye" That was the end of my relationship.

She told me she was a Christian and was always trying to get me to go to Intervarsity Christian Fellowship. Through the darkest moments that I look back on, something always seems to be good about them. My junior year of college I went to IVCF, I went to go meet girls mostly, some of me went to find out more about this Jesus guy. I saw that they had no drummer for their drums. I got to meet the worship leader (very cute girl I never would have had the guts to talk to) and she took a chance on me, one who was not a christian but she saw the passion for music that I had. She was my mentor, she taught me what I needed to know. She was a friend when I didnt have anyone.

There is almost always good that comes out of a bad situation. Always look for the good and not for the bad.

Thanks

 

[mamaneenie]

I liked your story. Some people do the wrong thing, but we have to find it in ourself to forgive them and move on. That's great.

 

[Stanfi]

Chevy,

I know what you are saying. I do the same thing. I would love to have a girl back in my life, that broke my trust, and cause me more pain that I could handle. Why? because when I first met her, she made me really happy, and I'm not sure if I will ever meet anyone else like that again.

Anyway why do we reach for the past instead of the future. For me, I know what is in the past, it is familar. The future is the other hand is unchartered terriortory. There may be something great out there, yet there is the fear that there may be nothing!!

Do I make sense?

We are getting some good thread in here, bringing it right down where we live!!

 

[72_Chev_Truck]

mrstace

You make perfect sense.

As for the threads, Im glad we have such a tight knit group of singles on this board. On the youth board this would have allready been on the 4th page. Sometimes I write to get the pain out. Now that I have written this thread it seems to feel better. I think a lot of us have gone through a lot of pain and by being open about it we can all breathe much better maybe.

 

[Stanfi]

. Sometimes I write to get the pain out. Now that I have written this thread it seems to feel better. I think a lot of us have gone through a lot of pain and by being open about it we can all breathe much better maybe.

I do the same thing Chevy.

 

[72_Chev_Truck]

uh oh i think i feel another rant coming on about girls, i think itll wait till tomorrow though.

 

[Koop]

heh too funy chevy...

I totaly here what your saying about past hurts and everything. I often long for something i've had in the past. Whether woman related or not. I really agree with mrstace. I think it's about familiarity and fear. I'll tell you guys that as for the fear of the future goes you have nothing to worry about, because of the promise we have in the Lord. Aside from that from personal expeince Christ will bring us new people in our lives who can bring us joy. I'll be praying for you guys tonight. I ohpe you guys get your desires. Just keep your eyes on Jesus.

 

[msjones21]

Hey Chevy. I can definitely relate. Being a very analytical-minded person I tend to dwell on the past and then run alternate scenarios through my head to see if something could have ended better than they did. It never works because we can't live in the past. I know that when we meet the first person who makes us feel special. Someone who makes us happy. Someone we share a history with...it makes it difficult to look beyond that and realize God always has something better for us. I don't like the theory of "there's alot of fish in the sea", but the saying goes when God closes one door He opens another. Right now (especially with it being the Holidays and you're away from school and work) you have alot of time to reflect on your relationship with Christine. I always tell people that if you can take at least one thing from that relationship, if one little thing good came from that experience, then it was not a total loss or a waste of time. It hurts and sometimes our past creeps back up and bites us in the rear...but we have to keep moving forward, pressing on with Christ guiding us.

 

[Stanfi]

. Being a very analytical-minded person I tend to dwell on the past and then run alternate scenarios through my head to see if something could have ended better than they did. It never works because we can't live in the past. I.

This is the beautiful thing about CF. I am always learning that I am not as crazy as I thought I was!! Glad to hear I am not the only one playing the "What If" game!!

 

[msjones21]