Why do I keep getting these dreams of infadellity?

[ElizabethHelen]

I love my boyfriend very much, could not imagine being with anyone else, he really is perfection to me.

However.. I have a problem, at the beginning of the relationship, everything was fine, I wasn't dreaming of other men...however now, I can't STOP dreaming of having sex with other men. Also in 9/10 of the dreams, he finds out and i'm constantly apologising, begging for forgiveness.

I have in the past cheated once, I seen how much hurt it caused, but I didn't beg for forgivness because I was so unhappy. The boyfriend at the time, we had nothing in common at all, wheras me and his best friend, hit it off straight away. Could never be with him for religious differences though...

But back to my boyfriend at the moment, his brother tested me, asking me to send him pictures of myself, i refused and refused and refused, eventually the brother admited he was testing me and that I had passed and me and stewart are perfect for each other. Which is true.


I have told stewart about these dreams sometimes and he keeps saying, well if you do cheat on me its over, which is understandable, but I know I won't, but these dreams keep happening and its a different person at a time and because of this I actually feel like I AM cheating.

Does anyone else get this? Anyone know what kind of messege it might be trying to send?

I'm so confused, I want them to go away.

 

[Johnnz]

I suggest it is either about guilt from your past, or your dreams are expressing your desire to be sexual with him once you are married. Other men are being used as images suggestive of sex, but not indicative of actual desire on your part.

John
NZ

 

[emixt]

Unfortunately, nobody actually knows why we even dream, let alone why we dream about what we dream about. Some people will say that we dream of hidden desires, others will say that we dream as our mind's way of resolving issues that we didn't resolve whilst awake, and others will say that our dreams are subconscious psychobabble bubbling up to the surface while our conscious is quiet, but the fact is that nobody knows, not even sleep psychologists.

 

[SinkingShip]

Remember that these are dreams, not reality. There is no reason to feel guilty about what you dream since you have no control over it. When you take into account just how little we know about the human mind and dream state, and how hard it is to truly remember everything we dream, you have to consider that maybe your mind and dreams are really focused on something else entirely.

In the end, these are your dreams from your mind, and only you can make sense of what they truly mean. One suggestion I received when asking my counselor about some of my dreams was the idea of a "Dream Journal" - keep a notebook and pencil/pen on your nightstand and when you wake up from a dream, write down everything you remember in as much detail as you can (very important considering how much we forget when we first wake up). After several nights, you may have enough data in the journal to start looking for common themes other than what you've identified. Maybe the dreams always occur in a specific place, maybe there's something different about your fiance', etc that might provide a better context to the dream.

Hope this helps.

 

[MyEverything]

I suggest it is either about guilt from your past, or your dreams are expressing your desire to be sexual with him once you are married. Other men are being used as images suggestive of sex, but not indicative of actual desire on your part.

John
NZ

This.

 

[Chaplain David]

I love my boyfriend very much, could not imagine being with anyone else, he really is perfection to me.

However.. I have a problem, at the beginning of the relationship, everything was fine, I wasn't dreaming of other men...however now, I can't STOP dreaming of having sex with other men. Also in 9/10 of the dreams, he finds out and i'm constantly apologising, begging for forgiveness.

I have in the past cheated once, I seen how much hurt it caused, but I didn't beg for forgivness because I was so unhappy. The boyfriend at the time, we had nothing in common at all, wheras me and his best friend, hit it off straight away. Could never be with him for religious differences though...

But back to my boyfriend at the moment, his brother tested me, asking me to send him pictures of myself, i refused and refused and refused, eventually the brother admited he was testing me and that I had passed and me and stewart are perfect for each other. Which is true.


I have told stewart about these dreams sometimes and he keeps saying, well if you do cheat on me its over, which is understandable, but I know I won't, but these dreams keep happening and its a different person at a time and because of this I actually feel like I AM cheating.

Does anyone else get this? Anyone know what kind of messege it might be trying to send?

I'm so confused, I want them to go away.

If you would like to talk about this in our Women's Only Forum area, please click on the following link and you will be taken there. Merry Christmas and God bless. http://www.christianforums.com/f47/

 

[Andy Pandy]

Hi ElizabethHelen. Personally I am far more concerned about the attempt by his brother, than your dreams, we have no control over dreams, wake and tell yourself that is all it is and stop worrying. If you have a desire to be sexually active and it is rare that adults do not, you will have some active dreams,,, it's not about infidelity.

If you had not make this one mistake, what do you think it would mean if you had these dreams (because we all do, at some time or another )

I wonder, does your boyfriend know that his brother persisted in this so called "test" ?

I recall once, I had Prince Charles chasing me around the garden and YES he caught me! believe me I have no desire to commit adultery with HRH !