Hi feral,
I can't say that I made a conscious choice to become a Christian.
I was raised Presbyterian, in sunday school until I could play hookie to smoke cigs. Went my own way during college and after. Married a couple of times for the wrong reasons and divorced when it got boring. on and on and on. Finally, a great man dropped in my lap (God uses the most amazing circumstances). We married and I loved him totally. So when he died after 30 excruciating days, I wanted to die also. But if I killed myself I wouldn't go to heaven - right? So I now desired assurance of going to heaven. Also began praying (I had prayed during his illness, but since I didn't know how to pray, I prayed 23rd Psalm and Lord's Prayer remembered from those hazy Sunday School days) for a release from the bitterness I felt. In the meantime I felt DRIVEN to attend church so when to local Episcopal church which had healing services (which really helped - I could cry and wail and everyone prayed over me). Later that summer I felt DRIVEN to read the Bible and guess what - it made sense to me. (It had been jibberish previously). In addition, I was weeping through hymns in church, understanding the sermons because they all had application to my current life, all sorts of "diving appointments". And, best of all, I fell in love with Jesus!!!! and wept at the sacrifice he made for ME at the cross! So Christ kidnapped me and I am his joyful hostage. So much more to tell, but I did not choose to become a Christian - he chose me!!!!
Feral, if you ever feel the urge to read the Bible or go to church, please do so and don't look back. This is the happiest I have been in my life, and yet I have lost my beloved husband, my father died last summer, my sweet dog died this spring, my income has shrunk by 80%, I pay an exhorbitant amount for medical insurance, AND I have never been more alone or more comforted!!!