DeanW-
You're trying to compare apples and oranges. The laws of Torah were societal laws, not a 'roadmap to heaven'. Their purpose was to mold a people (the Hebrews) into a strong, cohesive society where everyone knew exactly what they were to do, and what they were forbidden to do. In that era (circa 1500 BC) everyone's being 'on the same page' in a society was the 'yardstick' which measured whether that society would continue to exist, or be eradicated by one of its neighbors.
The New Testament, on the other hand, does not focus on a single society, but instead focuses on calling people from every nation to accept the gift of salvation:
What then shall we say? That the Gentiles, who did not pursue righteousness, have obtained it, a righteousness that is by faith; but Israel, who pursued a law of righteousness, has not attained it. Why not? Because they pursued it not by faith but as if it were by works. They stumbled over the "stumbling stone." As it is written:
"See, I lay in Zion a stone that causes men to stumble and a rock that makes them fall, and the one who trusts in him will never be put to shame." (Romans 9:30-33,NIV)
Those of us who who accept this righteousness find that we want to conduct ourselves as Scripture instructs. Those actions which it states as being offlimits to us, we accept as offlimits to us. Those actions which it states that we are to practice, we accept as actions worthy of being practiced. However, Scripture itself tells us that those who are nonbelievers are not for us to judge, irregardless of their actions. Instead, only those who would have us accept them as fellow Christians are to be measured against the actions which Scripture teaches that we are to practice, and those we are to shun:
I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people - not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.
What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. (I Corinthians 5:9-13a,NIV)