- Feb 8, 2004
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Some possible answers to the age old problem....
Gandhi 's Answer:
All chickens should peacefully resist by crossing the road.
Darwin's Answer:
It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
Another Answer:
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected
in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
(former) Iraq Information Minister:
There is no such chicken trying to cross the road, and there never has been any such chicken.
Moses's Answer:
And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Douglas Adams's Answer:
Forty-two.
Jack Nicholson's Answer:
'Cause it (censored) wanted to.
That's the (censored) reason.
Johnny Cochran 's Answer:
Because the road was black and the chicken was white. We must acquit.
Arthur Andersen Consultant's Answer:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its
dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant
challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering
relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its
physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chickens people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impact environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a
consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the
chickens mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards
the creation of a total business integration solution. (Andersen
Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
The Sphinx's Answer:
You tell me.
Neil Armstrong's Answer:
To go where no chicken has gone before.
George Bush's Answer:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
Al Gore's Answer:
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.
Bill Gates' Answer:
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
Martha Stewart's Answer:
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
Dr. Seuss' Answer:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!
Martin Luther King Jr's Answer:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Grandpa's Answer:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
Jerry Seinfield's Answer:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"
Saddam Hussein's Answer:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Sigmund Freud's Answer:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Richard Nixon's Answer:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.
Another Answer:
I don't know any chickens.
I have never known any chickens.
Joseph Stalin's Answer:
I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelette.
O.J. Simpson's Answer:
It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.
Colonel Sanders' Answer:
I missed one?
Gandhi 's Answer:
All chickens should peacefully resist by crossing the road.
Darwin's Answer:
It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
Another Answer:
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected
in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
(former) Iraq Information Minister:
There is no such chicken trying to cross the road, and there never has been any such chicken.
Moses's Answer:
And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Douglas Adams's Answer:
Forty-two.
Jack Nicholson's Answer:
'Cause it (censored) wanted to.
That's the (censored) reason.
Johnny Cochran 's Answer:
Because the road was black and the chicken was white. We must acquit.
Arthur Andersen Consultant's Answer:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its
dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant
challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering
relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its
physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chickens people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impact environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a
consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the
chickens mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards
the creation of a total business integration solution. (Andersen
Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
The Sphinx's Answer:
You tell me.
Neil Armstrong's Answer:
To go where no chicken has gone before.
George Bush's Answer:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
Al Gore's Answer:
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.
Bill Gates' Answer:
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
Martha Stewart's Answer:
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
Dr. Seuss' Answer:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!
Martin Luther King Jr's Answer:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Grandpa's Answer:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
Jerry Seinfield's Answer:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"
Saddam Hussein's Answer:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Sigmund Freud's Answer:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Richard Nixon's Answer:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.
Another Answer:
I don't know any chickens.
I have never known any chickens.
Joseph Stalin's Answer:
I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelette.
O.J. Simpson's Answer:
It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.
Colonel Sanders' Answer:
I missed one?
