Why can't men be straight.

[Katty]

It's simple, girls want a guy they can complain about, or "change". You see if they have a good guy then the failure of a relationship can mean only one thing, their fault, because he was a good guy. However if all their friends know he was a jerk, then the failure of the relationship was obviously his fault.

*HIJACK*

Thats a crappy way to put things We girls are not looking for a guy we can complain about or "change." If you go into a relationship even thinking that you're gonna change that other person, news to you, but its NOT gonna work. Us girls are not dense about this fact. Relationships are a two-way street... it takes two to tango. If a relationship fails, both have to take responsibility for the things that went wrong. It does not just fall on one person alone. I find it a little amusing that you have this take on girls. And by the way, if all we were looking for was a guy we can complain about or "change", most of you wouldn't be single

~Katty~

 

[John the Engineer]

*HIJACK*

Thats a crappy way to put things We girls are not looking for a guy we can complain about or "change." If you go into a relationship even thinking that you're gonna change that other person, news to you, but its NOT gonna work. Us girls are not dense about this fact. Relationships are a two-way street... it takes two to tango. If a relationship fails, both have to take responsibility for the things that went wrong. It does not just fall on one person alone. I find it a little amusing that you have this take on girls. And by the way, if all we were looking for was a guy we can complain about or "change", most of you wouldn't be single

~Katty~

Sorry about that, I should've said that the girls he was discussing. As in the girls that talk about how they want a nice guy then grab the first jerk that they find. I've had this happen many times before. "I wish I could find a nice guy like you"... "Uhmm, I'm single?" Hehe, my wonderful fun life. Anyway, a lot of girls like to find the guy like this, the guy that looks good, has the right "appeal", and of course is an absolute dingbat of a boyfriend. No, not all women, but a fair amount that I've seen.

As a note, I majorly changed for my girlfriend, in the ways she wanted. You can't expect them to change, but at the same time you have to allow them to change on their own. People naturally change in relationships, not always in the way you expect, but still.

 

[Katty]

Sorry about that, I should've said that the girls he was discussing. As in the girls that talk about how they want a nice guy then grab the first jerk that they find. I've had this happen many times before. "I wish I could find a nice guy like you"... "Uhmm, I'm single?" Hehe, my wonderful fun life. Anyway, a lot of girls like to find the guy like this, the guy that looks good, has the right "appeal", and of course is an absolute dingbat of a boyfriend. No, not all women, but a fair amount that I've seen.

As a note, I majorly changed for my girlfriend, in the ways she wanted. You can't expect them to change, but at the same time you have to allow them to change on their own. People naturally change in relationships, not always in the way you expect, but still.

Even so, I don't necessarily agree with you. No one, girl or guy, goes into a relationship thinking "oh gee, this person would suck as a partner... Lets be together!" I think its more of the fact that people don't take time to get to know who they are actually getting to know (did that make sense?) and in turn, get burned by that person when that person doesn't end up meeting certain expectations. Its not that some girls only want the "dingbat boyfriends", but its more that they go in blindly. Guys do that too. Some of my girls would be horrible "girlfriends" as of right now and I tell them that cause they're not ready for committed relationships and they know it, but most of them aren't short of guys. It goes both ways... some guys are just as clueless going into relationships as some girls are, but is it fair to say that all they're looking for is a girl who they can complain about and "change"?

~Katty~

 

[Teal]

Actually with my last girl I think I can lay the blame on her 100%
When someone says " Im falling in love with you,Since I don't wanna be with anyone for a long term relationship I have to break up with you."

Kinda wrong situation there. but anyway. There are others that are much better.

 

[secretdawn]

*HIJACK*

Thats a crappy way to put things We girls are not looking for a guy we can complain about or "change." If you go into a relationship even thinking that you're gonna change that other person, news to you, but its NOT gonna work. Us girls are not dense about this fact. Relationships are a two-way street... it takes two to tango. If a relationship fails, both have to take responsibility for the things that went wrong. It does not just fall on one person alone. I find it a little amusing that you have this take on girls. And by the way, if all we were looking for was a guy we can complain about or "change", most of you wouldn't be single

~Katty~

I think he's right to an extent though, there are tons of girls out there who look for that, or who can't let themselves be happy in a relationship with one of the good ones. My friend who is an awesome respectful, honest, practically perfect guy, not to mention gorgeous, just caught his girl cheating on him...there was nothing to "work" on so she got bored and caused imaginary drama and ending up ruining the best thing to ever happen to her. I have seen it happen with my girlfriends a lot and i just want to smack them sometimes.

 

[secretdawn]

Even so, I don't necessarily agree with you. No one, girl or guy, goes into a relationship thinking "oh gee, this person would suck as a partner... Lets be together!" I think its more of the fact that people don't take time to get to know who they are actually getting to know (did that make sense?) and in turn, get burned by that person when that person doesn't end up meeting certain expectations. Its not that some girls only want the "dingbat boyfriends", but its more that they go in blindly. Guys do that too. Some of my girls would be horrible "girlfriends" as of right now and I tell them that cause they're not ready for committed relationships and they know it, but most of them aren't short of guys. It goes both ways... some guys are just as clueless going into relationships as some girls are, but is it fair to say that all they're looking for is a girl who they can complain about and "change"?

~Katty~

No they don't think that they think "oh, he seems so rough on the outside, but i know he has a good heart and i can teach him to be more open and not so harsh, i'll bring the best out of him"

 

[Katty]

No they don't think that they think "oh, he seems so rough on the outside, but i know he has a good heart and i can teach him to be more open and not so harsh, i'll bring the best out of him"

Again, its because people don't take the time to get to know the person that they're getting to know, therefore when the other person fails to reach certain set expectations, things go sour. Personally, I don't think you should be with someone if they don't already bring out the best in you before you get involved with each other. When things go bad in a relationship, I don't think that people just want to "create imaginary drama" that really isn't there... its cause things ARE there, just not spoken of.

~Katty~

 

[John the Engineer]

Great concept that it's an accident, but it's more than that. Remember, most women who come from abusive childhoods end up finding abusive guys as boyfriends. It's where they feel comfortable and they seek out that type of "love"

No, it's not an active thought but it is the decision they make without knowing it directly. It's also not a right decision. Girls tend to fight what they believe they want because they need an "out" or they need a "project" to work with. Not universally true, but a lot more true than you'd think.

 

[secretdawn]

so basically if a guy tells you he is a nice guy or anything along those lines, he isn't?

 

[Teal]

Not Always, I try to avoid telling a girl I am "on the hunt for" that I am a nice guy.
Just try to avoid the one that just want in your "Knickers".

 

[Stanfi]

Secretdawn,

I read your OP. I have often wished girls would just be honest with me. I had one that made me feel that she really liked me. Next thing I know she is 'seriously' dating someone else.. I sure did feel played on that one.

Anyway, find yourself a good Christian guy. Not just a pew warmer, but someone is is living for God, and you can see the fruit of the spirit in his life. Pray hard about this, and ask God to guard you heart. Have patience, and make this guy prove to you who is says he his.

 

[tryingsohard]

I was just broken up by a girl, maybe some of you have read the thread (An Extremely Long Story).

The most heartbreaking thing is when you are a guy who treats your woman the way she is supposed to be treated AND you go the extra mile to treat her even better than that...and then all of the sudden she doesn't love you. There are too many jerks out there in this world who have given guys like us a bad name. And when I finally find a girl who I think appreciates me...she breaks my heart. So I ask you this: Why do girls have to be fickle? A lot of them are, but some aren't. Just like guys.

I really am mad. Just at the fickleness of girls and the jerkiness of guys. This is the stuff that gets a lot of people into bad, bad dealings, such as pornography, drugs, alcohol, etc. People just need to learn how to grow up because even if they don't want to admit it their actions are effecting those who are noble and good in this world, both male and female.

 

[Warrior Poet]

tryingsohard are you bitter?

Warrior Poet

 

[tryingsohard]

No, hurt is the more appropriate word.

 

[Warrior Poet]

Hurt breeds bitterness... tread carefully my friend.

Warrior Poet