Why is it that men can't just be straight with a girl. I mean I was seeing this guy and then all of a sudden he went from telling me he wanted to make me happy, I was special to him and blah blah blah (and yeah i know now they were lines) but then just drops off the face of the planet. It is so cowardly you know? Why is it that they can't just be honest and act like they mean...instead of all these stupid head games that in my opinion are immature and in all honesty slightly sadistic?
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Why can't men be straight.
- Thread starter secretdawn
- Start date
I suppose men could say the same about many women.
So perhaps the question is: Why aren't we acting honestly and straight forward with every person in our lives?
dun dun DUNNN
So perhaps the question is: Why aren't we acting honestly and straight forward with every person in our lives?
dun dun DUNNN
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Why are men afraid to show their true colors? Are there any general indications of how a man truly feels?
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i'd go for door number 2 in this case. what my problem is is that every guy i have ever dated wants nothing but to be with me for the first bit and pulls these lines out and then for whatever reason will turn into an a-hole faster than i can blink with no explaination. i mean it isn't going to break my heart if he doesn't like me anymore, i understand things happen, but i would really like to know why the change in heart and why all the fancy words...
'nother question...how right am i to assume that a guy likes to try to get a girl in bed and then either gives up or takes off when he gets what he wants...
i guess i always thought that there are tons of girls who will put out easier, why go through all that effort?
'nother question...how right am i to assume that a guy likes to try to get a girl in bed and then either gives up or takes off when he gets what he wants...
i guess i always thought that there are tons of girls who will put out easier, why go through all that effort?
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DaveKerwin
Represent the Most High
Some guys don't understand women, and they say things that they don't realize will make them feel and act a certain way. Date a guy who is young at heart, but not young in mind.
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First not all guys are like that, alot of us are one that will sleep with anything that has 2 legs and 2 X chromisomes( I cleaned that up pretty well). I personally will not sleep with any woman who I am not in love with, and she has to be in love with me. ( please don't give me that Marrage stuff)secretdawn said:
Im sorry this jerk hurt you. Here is a rose, I hope it makes you feel better.
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This is why you should be careful about who you let get close to your heart.
Not all of us are bad. So with that fact, settle for nothing less than one who deserves you.
Not all of us are bad. So with that fact, settle for nothing less than one who deserves you.
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the things that a guy who really cares about you will say are the same things that a guy will say to get you hooked, i mean how do you know the difference...this guy, wow, you know he was a real dork (i love a dorky guy) a goofball you know, not full of himself, real modest and a good dad and he said to me "i would never make you feel like a piece of meat, you just haven't been treated as well as you deserve" and no one had ever said that...well how am i supposed to tell the difference between lines and truth anymore?
Here's a challenge...i promise not to dog you out, but any ex-players out there...how bout you give up your secrets, tell us girls how you do it, why you do it, and how to watch out for it, cause at this point i am seriously starting to doubt your species...i have, i swear this is true, never ever dated a guy who wasn't playing me, or wanted to use or control me...and i have dated a decent amount of guys.
Here's a challenge...i promise not to dog you out, but any ex-players out there...how bout you give up your secrets, tell us girls how you do it, why you do it, and how to watch out for it, cause at this point i am seriously starting to doubt your species...i have, i swear this is true, never ever dated a guy who wasn't playing me, or wanted to use or control me...and i have dated a decent amount of guys.
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d0c markus
The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few
i was never a player but before i was a christian. i'd tell them what they want to hear, Its not that i didnt care about the girl, its just i cared about myself just a hair more... Telling them what they want to hear is so simple, it works. Its a mentality thats hard to break.
See how simple it is
They want to believe it. And they should, The difference now is acting on what you say. I pray for myself to see women with eyes like God looks at them, not with lust, secret motives or what not, but genuine love.
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Warrior Poet
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I dont know about being a player but:
I could relate to them and find a spot something in each one that I could relate to, that is usually all it took just a foothold for me to make headway to either get what I wanted or know that at the very least I could get it.
Now for me this wasn't one particular type of girl I preyed on them all the same, the sweet one's the innocent ones the wild ones the shy ones the smart ones the older ones, yet for the most part and with a few exceptions I kept clear of the young ones. I am not really sure why. Now when I say preyed i didn't hunt them out for sexual conquering I just wanted to conquer, if at the very least their thoughts if not their hearts. In all honesty I think that then i saw what I was doing was a favor to them some needed to be put on a pillar by someone, i was just trying to help and the others were just a challenge. I am touching on this subject more then any other because it is this aspect that got me in so much trouble and got me in so many lies. I used to call it the Gonzalez charm, my dad had it my brother most definitely had it and so did I. it was the ability to find that foothold exploit that foothold and then do whatever it is you wanted to after that, rarely did I ever get to that point where they were around my little finger because when it reached that point I pulled away, when they started to come to me it was a clear sign that I had won, and it was time to move on. I am not sure and I know that there was no direct method to it, each girl was different so each needed to hear something different, but in all , at the root was the same thing, they wanted to be a priority and needed to feel special. Like I said one would want just the companionship of a male friend others were sure that you were "the one" or totally dateable. For the most part I learned something from each one as well, a few lessons were learned the hard way, others were just learned through pure interaction. For me the one thing none of them, except for the few that I actually became really good friends with, wanted was the truth or so I thought and thought very wrong I might add.
Yup Yup.
Warrior Poet
I could relate to them and find a spot something in each one that I could relate to, that is usually all it took just a foothold for me to make headway to either get what I wanted or know that at the very least I could get it.
Now for me this wasn't one particular type of girl I preyed on them all the same, the sweet one's the innocent ones the wild ones the shy ones the smart ones the older ones, yet for the most part and with a few exceptions I kept clear of the young ones. I am not really sure why. Now when I say preyed i didn't hunt them out for sexual conquering I just wanted to conquer, if at the very least their thoughts if not their hearts. In all honesty I think that then i saw what I was doing was a favor to them some needed to be put on a pillar by someone, i was just trying to help and the others were just a challenge. I am touching on this subject more then any other because it is this aspect that got me in so much trouble and got me in so many lies. I used to call it the Gonzalez charm, my dad had it my brother most definitely had it and so did I. it was the ability to find that foothold exploit that foothold and then do whatever it is you wanted to after that, rarely did I ever get to that point where they were around my little finger because when it reached that point I pulled away, when they started to come to me it was a clear sign that I had won, and it was time to move on. I am not sure and I know that there was no direct method to it, each girl was different so each needed to hear something different, but in all , at the root was the same thing, they wanted to be a priority and needed to feel special. Like I said one would want just the companionship of a male friend others were sure that you were "the one" or totally dateable. For the most part I learned something from each one as well, a few lessons were learned the hard way, others were just learned through pure interaction. For me the one thing none of them, except for the few that I actually became really good friends with, wanted was the truth or so I thought and thought very wrong I might add.
Yup Yup.
Warrior Poet
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secretdawn said:
It's the "conquer and done" attitude of some guys. It's the point at which sex becomes more of a recreational event rather than the true sharing of love between a couple. I know it sounds really weird to put it so bluntly, but there's a large difference between "making love" and "having sex". A lot of guys go searching for having sex, and I believe this is the only true way to justify sleeping with a lot of women.
"boys" will tend to give up when they've had sex with a woman they've gone to "conquer", however a man will not. A man has sex because he's in love with the woman and wants to share everything with her. Hopefully it is in the bounds of marriage, but a lot won't.
As for why to go for the harder "conquests", it's just a challenge, get the unattainable. The journey is half the fun or some **** like that.
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secretdawn said:
Not a player so I don't know how much my advise will help. But I can tell you, watch for the guy that's willing to give up himself for you. Watch for the guy who's willing to let parts of himself die because he's trying to be with you. Let me give you a few examples.
When I started dating my girlfriend, I promised her I would give up drinking because she didn't like knowing about her friends drinking. She asked me to just not tell her about it, I went one step further and promised her I never would because I would rather not do something than feel like I was hiding something from her. Further more she was more important to me than a drink. I gave it up for her. I also gave up friends who I knew would not be supportive of our relationship, and in fact they weren't and so I stopped being around them. I gave them up for her.
Players will say things or do little things to get you, they won't give up pieces of themselves for you. They will also keep you away from being attached to their lives. Their friends may have you around but the friends know you'll be here today gone tomorrow. Maybe the player's friends are also players so they know the routine. Watch for if he has a lot of friends, none of which have regular stable relationships.
I knew a girl who couldn't understand why her friend (a guy who was in love with her) would always stop talking to her whenever he was in a relationship with another woman. He would always tell the other girl that he loved her, and they would obviously ask him to not talk to her anymore. So he wouldn't. We have to give up the things that keep us from being with that person, at least if we intend to be with them for the rest of our lives.
So what do you watch for? Watch for a person who's unwilling to give up anything of themselves for you. "Nights out with the guys" are always sacred, things of that nature. Watch for guys who don't bring you around the friends, or at least the friends are all players too. Watch for a guy who doesn't invest anything in you. Often times communication is the good way. Players won't tend to want to communicate about themselves. They're usually willing to listen cause that's the ammo of getting you hooked, but you need to be able to hear their hearts as well. Let them invest something in you, that you're getting to know them.
Anyway, hope that helps. I've known a lot of guys and like someone said earlier, 99% of them are ... well, you know the rest.
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secretdawn said:
Rule 1... if you have to tell someone you're harmless, nice, kind, understanding, etc... YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT!
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Like I alsways say, Im an A*****E.secretdawn said:
This is what bothers me. I am actually a nice guy. Im a 1%er I really am a great guy.
Women always say Im looking for a great guy, or I just want a decent guy. And when they find me they end up going for a guy that is just after her for 1 thing.
Granted I am not claiming to be perfect. I am capable of being a "player" but why?
Im getting off subject here......
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Teal said:Like I alsways say, Im an A*****E.
This is what bothers me. I am actually a nice guy. Im a 1%er I really am a great guy.
Women always say Im looking for a great guy, or I just want a decent guy. And when they find me they end up going for a guy that is just after her for 1 thing.
Granted I am not claiming to be perfect. I am capable of being a "player" but why?
Im getting off subject here......
It's simple, girls want a guy they can complain about, or "change". You see if they have a good guy then the failure of a relationship can mean only one thing, their fault, because he was a good guy. However if all their friends know he was a jerk, then the failure of the relationship was obviously his fault.
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