Why can’t God help me, WHY? (a bit long post sorry)

[aflower4God]

[please read this post in its entirety and the prayer at the end, please]
Hi everyone.
I desperate for advice, God just will not answer my prayers. Here is the thing. I only have one friend (she has been my friend for over 15 years). No family (they turned on me when I was homeless). I have no job (the social services of the state is trying to help me with that cause of my disability). I have a major phobia of driving, I live in a rural unsafe neighborhood.
The only thing that I have is you guys here on the net (I thank GOD for every one of you guys everyday).
Here is the problem, my only friend and I used to be really close best friend until over a year ago. See she has this obsession (not a little crush but a major obsession) over a hollywood actor and it is doing nothing but growing. I used to think that he was attractive that was all until I found things out about him.
I shared this with her and it did nothing but caused us to argue. Well I started to just not say a word, but she kept on and on and on repeating herself until I answered her about this actor, and until I agreed with her. So I had to chose my answer WISELY either I tell the truth about how I feel about him and this only friend of mine will let me have it (yell at me for hours and say that I don’t really feel that way when I do) OR I go along with her. So I chose to go along with her for a while. Then that lie just ate me up more and more. Why cause I don’t like this actor he is not real to me, I want a real guy a guy who I can marry. I tried to open up to her about it. She just denies it and mopes around me (seeing how I have depression and I am stuck at home all day it does not help matters). She ignores me or acts fake and talks about superficial stuff. She acts bored around me when I am not talking GOOD about this actor ALL THE TIME (she is in her 30’s like me).
All of this has been going on for sometime now. Her life is that actor, no kidding it is getting so bad that she will even pick out cloud shapes that has to do with him. She will not talk to a doctor about it, and she is in utter denial. The devil has her eating out of his hand, yes she is a Christian but sinking more and more into this world of this hollywood actor.
I can’t take much more of it, I REALLY CAN"T. Bottom line she will ONLY like me and have fun around me IF I talk all-good about that actor and act as if I like him like she likes him.
When I pour my heart out she denies it and then tells me how she sees how I feel and it is not true. SHE WILL NOT LISTEN. I am to the point about taking my life, not kidding here, I can’t take it, I have tried everything from don’t let her get to me, going along with her. I HAVE NOTHING! It is so bad that when she comes home from work I have to lock the door to my room that I have been in all day.
She is the only mode of transpiration for me too. The Churches around here are not that warm any either.
I can not take much more of this. WHY IS GOD DOING THIS TO ME, I have begged him with all my heart and soul to help me from this, but He will not budge. I have been begging God about this for over a year now. I have tried everything.
I need your advice, PLEASE, I don’t need tough love, I NEED KIND advice. Someone help me PLEASE, I am begging you, can’t God speak through you all, someone PLEASE I need your help. I have no one out there but her and she is not really "there" anymore cause of this actor.
BOTTOM LINE I feel like a trapped bird in a very itty bitty tiny cage, I NEED GOD TO HELP ME cause I hate this "trapped feeling".
Please I am only seeking KIND, repeat KIND advice, I am so upset and very sensitive.
Thank you in advance, with all my heart. God bless you all.
(((((((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))
Jesus,
If you can’t hear my cry or I am not listening to you correctly about this matter with my one and only friend could you please speak through someone, anyone here to show me the way out of this "cage" that I am trapped in, I NEED YOU JESUS you have helped me with A LOT of other things PLEASE help me though this. Somehow, please I am at the end here I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel with my only friend. JESUS HELP ME PLEASE, I WANT TO BE FREE. Someone anyone here on this site, Jesus speak through them PLEASE LORD. YOU are the only one who can help with this. PLEASE.
IN Your loving precious name I pray,
Amen

 

[FallenPaladin]

Your friend sounds like a nutter based on how you describe her. That kind of obsession can't be healthy for her. Are there any normal people around you who you can talk with and get to know?

 

[aflower4God]

Your friend sounds like a nutter based on how you describe her. That kind of obsession can't be healthy for her. Are there any normal people around you who you can talk with and get to know?

Hi there my dear sweet brother. First thank you for your responce.
1. I have social phobia but I hope that once the social services helps me with getting a job and they may even help with counseling for that.
2. So sad but if you knew my only friend before she was not like this, she was full of life. I don't know if being homeless and losing almost everything changed her or what, but she has changed like a drunk her booze is this actor.
God bless you brother.

 

[goldenviolet]

sweetheart *HUG*... when the Lord has an answer for you; He will steer you right to it. we all have this habit of pulling Jesus towards us with one hand, and pushing Him away with the other. i think the still small voice is guiding you with a gentle nudge; helping you through one issue at a time. i pray the lord reveals it to you.

James 1:1-8
1 James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ,
To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations:
Greetings.
Trials and Temptations
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6 But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

 

[FallenPaladin]

Hi there my dear sweet brother. First thank you for your responce.
1. I have social phobia but I hope that once the social services helps me with getting a job and they may even help with counseling for that.
2. So sad but if you knew my only friend before she was not like this, she was full of life. I don't know if being homeless and losing almost everything changed her or what, but she has changed like a drunk her booze is this actor.
God bless you brother.

Thank you.

What happens if you talk about this actor and the girl(s) he's seeing? Gee, it looks like him and her are getting serious. I wonder if they'll get married and have babies that look like him or her. etc... Can a bit of reality bring her back?

 

[aflower4God]

sweetheart *HUG*... when the Lord has an answer for you; He will steer you right to it. we all have this habit of pulling Jesus towards us with one hand, and pushing Him away with the other. i think the still small voice is guiding you with a gentle nudge; helping you through one issue at a time. i pray the lord reveals it to you.

James 1:1-8
1 James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ,
To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations:
Greetings.
Trials and Temptations
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6 But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

Thank you so much my dear sweet sister for your loving advice, it brought tears to my eyes as I am feeling like I am at the end, I feel like I can't breath because of this issue with my only friend. God bless you and LOTS OF LOVE to you. ((((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))))))

Thank you.

What happens if you talk about this actor and the girl(s) he's seeing? Gee, it looks like him and her are getting serious. I wonder if they'll get married and have babies that look like him or her. etc... Can a bit of reality bring her back?

Hi again dear sweet brother. Great suggestions but the thing this actor has been seriously seeing this actress now for over a year and my only friend is well aware of that. Know what she says about it, "at least she is a good girl, sweet looking and he never would pick out a snob" oh brother how does she know, this actress wears a lot of eye make up, my friend acts like she knows this actor, can you beleive that? She says this over and over, I am telling you nothing he does is wrong in her eyes. I miss my old sweet fun loving friend that she once was over a year ago, she used to talk about Jesus and light up and anything that has to do with Jesus, but she is lost in this world of this actor

 

[CFDavid]

You ask that we give kind advice, but I don't know if you'll think this is kind or not. My guideline is "An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips" (Proverbs 24:26).

I'm taking your word for it that you're getting absolutely no answer from God. All I can think of in Scripture is that it's honorable to avoid fighting (Proverbs 20:3), and that we should pursue peace. Your roommate seems interested in peace only at the cost of reality. (No need to try logic at this point; she's not interested and it can't reach her for a while.)

Now, I imagine that humoring someone with dementia is possibly a grey area, and maybe your roommate has a legitimate sickness, but I would probably just reply to whatever her observations are, variations of "I really can't have an opinion; I don't know him" might be a decent course to set. There's a psychological tool for people who can't "hear" something being said to them -- the "broken record." You may have to repeat the answer a hundred times and it may upset her, but eventually, you might get through: You have no personal relationship with this person and don't expect to have one. That's all you can do; her own realizations are up to her.

Frankly, it seems like you're adamantly committed to a relationship which is really unhealthy. You're ready to take your life because your roommate is markedly obsessed with an actor she's never met and it drives you to lock yourself in your room? It sounds like you're both in trouble.

If you're really feeling suicidal, you need to call for professional help. Take that step and that will probably get you into the system more quickly and you can possibly get set up with more appropriate housing. Look at ads for folks who want roommates, and try to find housing where you can be more independent. If you can't drive, why would you want to live somewhere where private transportation is absolutely necessary? You're setting yourself up in so many ways: You've limited your social circle to one other person, you've created a situation in which you're pretty much entirely dependent on that other person -- well, of course you feel trapped.

Talk to a counselor -- and, if you're truly feeling suicidal, believe me: You'll get a counselor to talk to -- and start to map out a plan for extricating yourself from this very unhealthy situation. At some point, you'll need to give your roommate appropriate notice that you'll be leaving. This will also make it more real for you and could help motivate you to find accommodations. She'll likely try various bargaining tactics to keep you in this relationship, but I really think, from what you've said, you need out. Yes, you will probably feel lonely for a time, but you will meet other people, and hopefully they'll be people who don't invite you to this sort of dance.

Good luck to you.

 

[aflower4God]

(((((((((((((((BIG HUGSS))))))))))))))))))
Thank you so much my dear sweet loving brother CFDavid for your kind loving advice. Yes I think it was kind cause it was not "tough love" as in blunt name calling of me. That is why I call it kind. Also I think it is VERY SOUND advice, something that I gotta admit it is going to be a MAJOR step for me cause I have been roommates and friends with this only friend of mine 15+ years. What you are saying is reality, if I want to be set free I need to get out. So very sad that she will not see her ways on this matter, I do always pray that Jesus will show her the way again.
Yes, I am deeply sadden still.
Anyway, thank you for your kind loving advice on this matter. God bless you my dear sweet brother. Lots of love to you.

 

[Avniel]

I would say avoid all conversation about this, or bring up an actor you have a crush on or like and say thats who I like more.

 

[CFDavid]

....Anyway, thank you for your kind loving advice on this matter....

Cool -- I'm glad you took that in the spirit in which it was meant.

So, a bonus haiku for you! -- somewhat related to part of your signature:


Don't worry, spiders,
I keep house
casually.

-- Issa

 

[alan650]

Dear Heavenly Father, give this woman the strength to break out of this depression she is going through! Open doors for her to find release from the phobia that sets her back so much. Help her realize the power that she possesses by giving her all to You! Dear Lord may you shine a light on her life and give her blessings and clarity in her life that she so desperately needs!

In love in Christ,

AMEN!

 

[aflower4God]

(((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))))) thank you my dear brother I needed those prayers I am at my breaking point. I can't deal with this. Thank you and GOD BLESS YOU.

 

[alan650]

(((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))))) thank you my dear brother I needed those prayers I am at my breaking point. I can't deal with this. Thank you and GOD BLESS YOU.

On our own strength we can't deal with anything. Thank God for Jesus Christ and his power and strength and mercy! God sees your trials and afflictions and smiles upon you as you maintain faith in him!

Think of it this way. You will be spending an ETERNITY in BOUNDLESS ENDLESS JOYOUS GLORY with the Father of Heaven! Any struggle here on earth will look ridiculously small once we meet Jesus and get to spend eternity with Him! Keep your faith and keep resting in the arms of God!!

 

[Angeldove97]

Remember that you can not change ANYBODY except YOURSELF. Here is the very best thing you can do for your friend....

PRAY FOR HER

and continue to pray for her every day. Ask God to help her to get over this addiction and become addicted with following Christ.

And take care of yourself--- your living situation is not ideal, so pray for wisdom that you may find out how to change it so that you can be happy. I suffer from depression and anxiety and just spending ONE DAY in my apartment by myself (with my fiance and sister away working) makes my depression kick in. Even if you just go for a walk--- for the sake of taking a walk--- it will help immensly. There is no reason to stay in the apartment all day (even if you have a social anxiety--- me too sweetie--- get out of the house and enjoy your surroundings).

But stop assuming that you have to find a way to fix your friend--- that is not necessarily your job. Leave it up to Christ and cover your friend in prayer.

 

[hidesertrat]

God hasn't answered your prayer? or God hasn't given you the answer that you wanted?

 

[aflower4God]

Remember that you can not change ANYBODY except YOURSELF. Here is the very best thing you can do for your friend....

PRAY FOR HER

and continue to pray for her every day. Ask God to help her to get over this addiction and become addicted with following Christ.

And take care of yourself--- your living situation is not ideal, so pray for wisdom that you may find out how to change it so that you can be happy. I suffer from depression and anxiety and just spending ONE DAY in my apartment by myself (with my fiance and sister away working) makes my depression kick in. Even if you just go for a walk--- for the sake of taking a walk--- it will help immensly. There is no reason to stay in the apartment all day (even if you have a social anxiety--- me too sweetie--- get out of the house and enjoy your surroundings).

But stop assuming that you have to find a way to fix your friend--- that is not necessarily your job. Leave it up to Christ and cover your friend in prayer.

A BIG thank you my dear sweet loving sister. for your kind advice. You are so right. God bless you and LOTS OF LOVE to you ((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))))

God hasn't answered your prayer? or God hasn't given you the answer that you wanted?

hi there dear brother. But How do I know that God has already answered me, I just feel nothing in my heart about this matter. I really can't say that he has answered me, or at least I don't feel it.

 

[brinny]

i can soooooooooo relate and then some. Oh yes, the narrowing of my world in inexplicable ways....soooo trapped and crying oceans that would fill the universe and then some. Not understanding the trapped-ness, and wondering WHERE my God was during all of it, and WHY He wouldn't come in and save the day (days, weeks, months, years...)

Like this song:

YouTube - Saving Private Ryan - Praise You in this Storm

Dear heart, i got yer back. So does most definitely, your Abba, for you ARE His precious, beloved daughter. He has apparently picked you, dear heart, for a mission. It is to TRUST Him through all this utter craziness. No matter what, TRUST Him. He will be appear to be invisible, silent, not there. It is because for the time being, you are seeing through a very thick glass darkly. It is temporary. The tunnel of this dark despair WILL grow in light as you stick close to Him, clinging to HIM, and the end of the tunnel will be in range that you can see it. STAY in the palm of His mighty hand. He is fighting battles His grace prevents you from seeing, for now. You are more blessed than your vision allows you to see right now. As you stay close to Him, there are, on each side of you, throngs in heaven, cheering you on as you run thie race of your life, and there HE is, Your Abba, waiting for you, with open arms, as you approach the finish line.

God places us in furnaces of affliction. They seem an eternity. They are not. They eventually end, and we come forth as pure gold.

You hang in there. I'm lifting you to our Abba as we speak.

Love,
Brenda (((((hug)))))

 

[brinny]

YouTube - Lord I Give You My Heart (worship video w/ lyrics)

Love,
Brenda
((((hug))))​

 

[aflower4God]

Oh my dear sweet loving sister Brinny THANK YOU so much for your love and kind WISE words of support. First I am really sorry to hear that you went through the same thing.
Second, it sure does feel like a really thick dark glass, very hard to see God in all of this. Each day has been so agonizing.
Thank you for your advice and those songs that you postedd. I really do appreciate everything. GOD BLESS YOU and lots of love to you my dear sweet loving sister. ((((((((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))))))))))

 

[brinny]

Lifting you to our Abba, dear heart. He is merciful. It may not appear to be so, yet He does NOT give us more than we can bear...but sometimes this can only be seen through hind-sight. He has not left you, nor will He EVER forsake you. We each have a journey we MUST step forth on, one step at a time. TRUST Him, luv.

(((((hug))))))