Why bother with Love?

[Apollonian]

Tenor, that makes sense. The way I usually think of it is thus...

"God, not my will but Yours be done"...

...except instead of "take this cup away from me" it is more like "give this cup unto me".

If I keep repeating that to myself enough times that it begins to sink in, it gives a new perspective on things. All of a sudden, it isn't about finding that thing I always wanted, but rather how I am going to follow God's will in fulfilling the desires of my heart. Does that make sense? In other words, I try to filter out all of the lies and seek the truth in the matter, yet there still remains the desire to find love.

This is a good test though. I would go so far as to say that we are called to seise the day and work toward what we desire until it would become an idol - and then stop short. If everyone lived with this sort of driving passion for life, I imagine we would no longer recognize our culture at all.

If you had this sort of passion for romance, just short of idolizing it, what would it look like? Would it eventually tire you out, or would it be envigorating?

 

[Niels]

To be known. Perhaps it's simply my temperament, but I dislike having to explain what I like, my past and my plans for the future time and time again. I'd say it's almost physically draining for me to keep doing that as a single. Some people love to talk about themselves from square one. Not me. I prefer to add new little bits of information as this story unfolds. To explore and move forward with someone around me who knows, if just a little, where I'm coming from. Romantic love is uniquely designed to offer this kind of knowing companionship throughout one's lifetime. Love of extended family comes in a close second. Friendships can also help fill this need to an extent, but it's not true kinship, nor the mysterious physical closeness that may accompany a romantic relationship. Friendships may come and go, but in the end it's love and family that remain. As a single man I feel unknown, and I do experience a bit of existential angst over it. My fear isn't so much a fear of the unknown, but rather a fear of being the unknown. Ultimately, however, I am known by God. He knows my inner workings, and sees the big picture of my life regardless.

To know. To move beyond the interior in terms of explorations of reality. By our nature we must live in a world understood through our five senses, yet there is a reality which is transcendent to that... something which dwells within each of our souls. I'm not speaking of the Spirit per-se, but a spirit created in God's image. She brings with her experiences of a life, and the nuances of dreams yet to be realized. To never know this, in a way, is to never have lived for other than one's self. To shed our selfishness and accept the reality of another's spiritual journey onto the course of our own life is a richly powerful aspect of being human. To move forward, we must first begin from where we are. Knowing lets us build upon that which already is. Without it, we cannot truly say where to begin.

In summary: Why bother with love? To know and to be known.

 

[JPPT1974]

Yes you have to take the effort and go out and meet people, and those kind of things. THink of it this way...God tells us to "..be still and wait.." right? Well this is the same kind of "waiting" that we are doing right now waiting for His glorious second coming. We are not sitting on our duffs ( or aleast we are not supposed to be ), we are out doing thing to survive, working, and living, and doing His work too.

I hope this kind of helps you out some. I know that you said that you did not want the "Trust in God" answers but you really do need to Trust in Him, in all things.

God Bless

Tenor

Take the time and find the effort to meet people. Knowing what they are like. And wait on the Lord to do the right thing. Don't just sit there. Be part of something.

 

[~HopeFloats~]

I cannot wait to find the one.. until then it is just God and I and that too is a Blessing

 

[ivanisavich]

In summary: Why bother with love? To know and to be known.

Amen!

I think that's the most rewarding aspect of any kind of love, whether it be romantic or whatever.

To be able to share your experiences with another person, be able to learn of theirs, and to be able to experience new things together is incredible!

Once you understand that....it's quite easy to understand why God decided to create us! Not only are we able to share with other humans on this planet....but we are actually able to commune with the being that created everything in the Universe! I mean...how much better can it get than that??

 

[Apollonian]

How can one person truly "know" another?

 

[mina]

by communicating

 

[Apollonian]

Can't you communicate with friends? Why bother with love?

 

[JeremiahJ]

It's a deeper, pervasive communication that results in a deeper knowing.



Apollonian, you're too philosophically minded. You make questions where there is no need for any! It's funny.

 

[Apollonian]

It's a deeper, pervasive communication that results in a deeper knowing.



Apollonian, you're too philosophically minded. You make questions where there is no need for any! It's funny.

From my perspective, there are too many people who make tautologies out of things that are far more beautiful when understood in their full complexity.

But then again, there are sometimes where I just need a smack across the head and for people to show me that I am overthinking things. Perhaps this is such a case.

Part of my reason for this thread was that hollywood seems to trivialize love. They make it seem far too easy and do not show its full weight or beauty.

The other reason is that the Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy says this about love: "Avoid, if at all possible" Since I consider the Guide a comically profound book, I was inclined to think further about what it meant.

 

[JeremiahJ]

From my perspective, there are too many people who make tautologies out of things that are far more beautiful when understood in their full complexity.

Interesting. That's definitely a tendency.

 

[mina]

no, i would not commicate deeply with just surface friends, and I would want to kiss the person I was communicating deeply with so yeah the physical intamicy comes into play.

 

[Apollonian]

If physical intimacy is the only thing that people can come up with which is distinguishable from simple close friendship, then I would have to conclude one of two things.

Either:
One - Our society is messed up and things would otherwise be quite simple if we were to fixed a few of the common biases and indoctrinated responses people have.
Or
Two - Our idea of romance is messed up and there is some complexity there that we are missing that differentiates it from friendship+physical_intimacy.

Is romantic involvement simply "Friendship+physical_intimacy" ?

 

[mina]

phyiscal intamacy isn't a bad thing, within the proper boundaries. Touch is part of the human experience. I think it's a bonus. When y ou love someone you want to express it. You can love someone without expressing it physically, so it's nothing that love should be based on. Definitely love should not be based on physical intamacy, but it makes it much more enjoyable, and I think God created us witht he ability to hug, kiss, hold hands, etc for a good reason. Love is friendship on fire- it's better than just having a good friend. when you are comfortable engouh with someone to touch them and be touched (and no i'm not talking in a sexual way) it means you completely trust them. Love is more than just good friendship and more than just physical intamacy. I'm proably not making a lot of sense, but I really don't think you can define love. Love rarely if ever makes sense, but it sure is great when you find the real thing.

 

[ivanisavich]

Is romantic involvement simply "Friendship+physical_intimacy"?

No...but you're close. Romantic love involves emotional intimacy as well...something you don't get with a regular friendship invovling the opposite sex (I say "opposite sex" because brotherly or sisterly love between two members of the same sex can involve emotional intimacy too...the difference being that such a friendship is obviously non-romantic).

 

[JeremiahJ]

If physical intimacy is the only thing that people can come up with which is distinguishable from simple close friendship

Stop there. It's not the only thing people can come up with. People have already come up with more.

 

[Apollonian]

Stop there. It's not the only thing people can come up with. People have already come up with more.

?? Like what? "Communication" and/or "Being Known" seem to be ambiguous concepts that can be fulfilled through friendship without the need for romance.

Did I miss something?

 

[mina]

i do not think those things can be experienced by just friendship alone.

 

[Apollonian]

i do not think those things can be experienced by just friendship alone.

Why not?

 

[mina]

well i don't have all the answers or anything. I think it's going to be different for different people. For me, i've had close friends-girls and guys- and a friend can know everything about you and still not "love" you. It wasn't enough for me. Love involves wanting to spend time and emotions on a person. Also I see love as involving a commitment to one other person for the rest of your life. Just friends are not commited in that way and are free to have other deep friendships with other people. I agree with Blue on this: you really won't know until you experience love. I really don't think any of us can give you an answer you want. Why bother with love? Why did God bother with loving us? Why does God bother in loving me and having a relationship with me? Human love is a reflection of God's love so maybe y ou will find your answers in studying the why of God's love for us.