Why Are Catholics So "Cold?"

[Virgil the Roman]

I am sorry to hear that. Perhaps, you could find a nice Byzantine parish with a coffee and donut hour after Mass? (Or Traditional Latin mass church could work too!) We Catholics are a very friendly bunch. It just takes a bit for some (like myself) to warm a bit, to get to know ya, or figure out if you're new, visiting, or plum try and remember your name (I'm extremely horrible at remembering them myself).

 

[Fran75]

I am sorry to hear that. Perhaps, you could find a nice Byzantine parish with a coffee and donut hour after Mass? (Or Traditional Latin mass church could work too!) We Catholics are a very friendly bunch. It just takes a bit for some (like myself) to warm a bit, to get to know ya, or figure out if you're new, visiting, or plum try and remember your name (I'm extremely horrible at remember them).

Our Byzantine church has coffee and donuts once a month after liturgy, come join us we are always happy for new members.

I was a little perturbed at the title of the tread when I first saw, it seems like a stereotype but the more I thought about it the more I understood and somewhat agreed with it. I am a cradle Byzantine Catholic I can go into any Byzantine and to a somewhat lesser extent Roman Catholic church, never say one word to anyone the entire time feel but feel at right at home, that is the beauty of our religion. I periodically go to an Evangelical Church and bible study with my husband and they are extremely welcoming and I feel very close to them definitely part of their family when I am there. To a stranger their informal style is probably 100 x more welcoming than ours, we (my church) have some responses and hymns in Slavonic and some our icons are downright creepy if you are not used to them, to me the language and icons fill my soul with warmth, a connection to past generations and closeness to God, I would not change a thing. I do periodically feel the desire to attend services with my extended religious in laws (so to speak) I must admit they do fill a little part of something that our church is missing which it would be difficult for me to put in to words. The preacher and members of my husband's church are such a genuine, loving group of people I do miss them sometimes, but I must say I have issues with their dogma and at times things I hear makes my skin crawl, I just make the sign of cross upon entering and leaving the church and after each prayer and smile, it is not for me to for me to judge them in their home. Catholicism and Protestantism both have their own advantages and disadvantages some are more comfortable with one than than the other, for me I will stick with the cold Catholics but continue to visit the warm Protestants on occasion.

 

[Tigg]

Basicaslly a lot of parishes are cold. Mine, the priest waits and greets outside before and after Mass. There is the coffee etc. after Mass. And people do talk a bit as they leave Mass. And sometimes various people want all to put food for those in need in a box. However I have leaned thru personal xperience to give at Protestant or non-denominational places. I do give to the Salvation Army and used to give to the Red Cross but not after 9-11

Guess I is rambling. But over all, Catholics are a colder bunch IMO.

 

[Tigg]

Our Byzantine church has coffee and donuts once a month after liturgy, come join us we are always happy for new members.

I was a little perturbed at the title of the tread when I first saw, it seems like a stereotype but the more I thought about it the more I understood and somewhat agreed with it. I am a cradle Byzantine Catholic I can go into any Byzantine and to a somewhat lesser extent Roman Catholic church, never say one word to anyone the entire time feel but feel at right at home, that is the beauty of our religion. I periodically go to an Evangelical Church and bible study with my husband and they are extremely welcoming and I feel very close to them definitely part of their family when I am there. To a stranger their informal style is probably 100 x more welcoming than ours, we (my church) have some responses and hymns in Slavonic and some our icons are downright creepy if you are not used to them, to me the language and icons fill my soul with warmth, a connection to past generations and closeness to God, I would not change a thing. I do periodically feel the desire to attend services with my extended religious in laws (so to speak) I must admit they do fill a little part of something that our church is missing which it would be difficult for me to put in to words. The preacher and members of my husband's church are such a genuine, loving group of people I do miss them sometimes, but I must say I have issues with their dogma and at times things I hear makes my skin crawl, I just make the sign of cross upon entering and leaving the church and after each prayer and smile, it is not for me to for me to judge them in their home. Catholicism and Protestantism both have their own advantages and disadvantages some are more comfortable with one than than the other, for me I will stick with the cold Catholics but continue to visit the warm Protestants on occasion.

 

[LinuxUser]

we are about God, not about you

we are told to worship God on the sabbath, if all Church is about to you is fellowship and being acknowledged personally, then no wonder they call it a 'personal savior'

While you may not rejoice when a sinner comes home or inquires and seeks salvation God does, so do the Protestants.

 

[LinuxUser]

I am sorry to hear that. Perhaps, you could find a nice Byzantine parish with a coffee and donut hour after Mass? (Or Traditional Latin mass church could work too!) We Catholics are a very friendly bunch. It just takes a bit for some (like myself) to warm a bit, to get to know ya, or figure out if you're new, visiting, or plum try and remember your name (I'm extremely horrible at remembering them myself).

After I went through classes (not RCIA because there was just me) they acted like they just noticed I was there when the Priest introduced me as a new member. I should say that not everyone was cold to me, the pastor was very nice and welcomed me and an old teacher welcomed me my first time. As I said the the others didn't even act like I was there, I understand being serious during the service but I thought at least they could have greeted me when they were standing around in front of the parish before Mass.

 

[MoNiCa4316]

I think Catholics are "so cold" because they haven't fully embraced the reforms of Vatican II.

Lots of wonderful things started happening, and are still happening, despite the best efforts of conservatives to repress them.

You just have to look harder.

Fantine,

Please read this.. Bishop Athanasius Schneider: Doctor Optimus - Vultus Christi it's on what the Council Fathers intended.
Pope Benedict said, VII should be interpreted in light of Tradition, not in discontinuity with it

Also.. as the article in the OP said: if we are face to face with God, why would we chat with our neighbour? that would be so disrespectful to the Blessed Sacrament

 

[MoNiCa4316]

Regarding Catholic churches being "cold"...

I would mention several things...

I actually like how we go to Mass to pray and be with God, not talk to people during the service. At my old Protestant church, - people would always talk to each other, - but I like how in the Mass, we have that opportunity to talk to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament... He is truly present there, it would be better to pray to Him, and more loving and respectful to Him

As for Catholics being unfriendly after the Mass... I think that depends on where you go. At my current parish, people do socialize after Mass. The priest is very friendly too and talks to everyone.

At the FSSP parish I attended while at university.. there was a great community there. I met some great friends and we would go out to lunch every Sunday, with the priests. We would get together all the time. After the High Mass, there would be coffee/donuts downstairs and lots of people went there to talk. When I was new, other members introduced themselves to me, and introduced their friends. The priests are very involved and dedicated, - they hear Confessions before every Mass, are always available, very helpful.. in fact, I found way more community there than in my old Protestant church.

 

[BAFRIEND]

While you may not rejoice when a sinner comes home or inquires and seeks salvation God does, so do the Protestants.

are we pretending to speak for God now

 

[ebia]

are we pretending to speak for God now

Eh?

You think God doesn't?

 

[LinuxUser]

are we pretending to speak for God now

Nope, making observations about you and how people akin to you turn people away. If I encountered people like you I would have ran from the Catholic Church this shows how much you don't care. BTW do you know that is in Scripture that Heaven rejoices if your a Christian shouldn't you?

It seems some Protestants over do it and focus on people and some Catholics do not focus on other people enough.

 

[Mister Emu]

When I first went to mass, they asked if anyone was a visitor, I stood up... at the sign of peace everyone around me greeted me... After the Mass the Priest welcomed me, I was invited to RCIA twice and a Bible study, and someone offered to be my sponsor if/when I decided to join the Church. I was also offered a rosary and a couple medallions.

That is to say, I did not feel unwelcome at all... I guess it would depend on the parish you go to.

 

[Virgil the Roman]

Cool, Mister Emu.

 

[Gwendolyn]

All four parishes I have gone to in my teenage/adult life have been very welcoming. Sometimes it is overwhelming, as I am a rather quiet, shy person, but it was also nice to feel welcome. No parish I have been to has the funds to offer new members free gift baskets and such (money in my diocese is very tight), but they invite people to social events and such outside of mass. Even the priests greet parishioners as they leave - they might not catch everyone, but they do their best to make sure that the parishioners know that they are here because they care about God's people.

 

[Gwendolyn]

Also, on the rare occasion that I am not having panic attacks after Mass (the crowds get to me), if I see a new person I will say hello to them.

And when I was little, one parish I went to had a "Feast of St. Timothy of Horton", as the priests affectionately called it, a couple times a month. Everyone gathered in the foyer after Mass, there were servers offering delicious baked goods from Tim Horton's (since you don't have Timmy's in America, I pity you lol). The priests chatted, the parishioners chatted, it was lovely.

 

[FriendlyJosh]

I can't wait to go to Catholic church one day I love the idea you can go there for the Lord and enjoy being in his house without lot of distraction. I feel like it should be all about him anyway, I mean being kind to people in church is ofcourse great, I just personally won't be going to be entertained, but rather for the Lord. I love the Lord he's truly incredible

 

[Virgil the Roman]

Great! Godspeed you.

Glory to Jesus Christ!

 

[Gwendolyn]

I am also one of those people who prefers to go to Mass to worship God, and not to socialise. Socialising comes outside of Mass. During Mass, I like to be left to myself to pray and meditate on the holy mysteries.

 

[CruciFixed]

Nope, making observations about you and how people akin to you turn people away. If I encountered people like you I would have ran from the Catholic Church this shows how much you don't care. BTW do you know that is in Scripture that Heaven rejoices if your a Christian shouldn't you?

It seems some Protestants over do it and focus on people and some Catholics do not focus on other people enough.

Our parish is very warm but they don't show it up front. You gotta get there early or socialize after. Both of the priests at the two different parishes I attend are welcoming. They also have a social hall and after the mass they go down to have donuts or coffee on occasions. The one in another city has a lot of welcoming gifts for those who come into the church all new....the rcia i went through they gave us a basket of goodies and a brass crucifix that the priest blessed plus a prayer shawl.

It depends on the parish and sometimes Catholics don't "notice" newbies as much because they are very focused on the Eucharist or the altar or the tabernacle. I am so timid I won't even try to guess if someone is a newcomer or not because I am afraid of making a fool of myself and talking to someone who doesn't want my company. So I am withdrawn not everyone is.

Sometimes you just gotta let people know who you are that you are new and nervous. For some reason protestant churches seem to recognize the newbie in the crowd. Catholics don't always notice who wasn't there before. It seems cold......its probably not. Before the service at my old church it was protestant and everyone got together by the usher and greeted one another hugged and stuff. Then the pastor always made us fill out newbie cards so they could counsel us and stuff after service and not during. We got a new bible and some other gifts and goodies when we went. BUT here's the kicker. The minute we switched churches (i switched faiths all together) none of those warm fuzzy people wanted to talk to us anymore. The woman who used to do a female only bible study with me.....would no longer answer her calls. i sent her a thank you card for some gifts she had given me in the summer before my conversion and she never acknowledged it.

The second we stopped attending THEIR home church.....so did the warmth.

Don't let BA bug you.

He's alright. He's not always right just alright.

I am also one of those people who prefers to go to Mass to worship God, and not to socialise. Socialising comes outside of Mass. During Mass, I like to be left to myself to pray and meditate on the holy mysteries.

I prefer to go to Mass and not have to talk to anyone and just focus on Jesus and pray. If people talk to me I panic in my chest because I'm a freak of nature.

 

[JoabAnias]

I've always seen the answer to this question to be two fold.

1.) Impersonal is a personal perception
and
2.) When we are at Mass we are there because Jesus calls us to Him in the Blessed Sacrament. Not to socialize.

Its about Me and Jesus for one hour a day. NOT Me and You.

Those who make such a criticism of the Mass are missing the object of being there in the first place and seem jealous of the worship of the Lord. They think they should be paid attention to instead of Jesus.