Why are all homosexual relationships...

[outlaw]

and now for the injection of race into the homosexual discussion:

non sequitur

Either you have not read your own link or you are purposefully trying to deceive others.

 

[Portgus]

I actually do know a virgin gay guy. He says he is attracted to men, but wants to save himself for someone he loves. But then again, one of my best mates is gay, and would be exhibit "A" in favour of the sexual gratification case. Though he was a bit of a pervert even when he was dating women.

I think the reason people associate homosexuality with sexual gratification is because heterosexual people for the most part are under the opinion that you are not gay until you have had sex with another member of the same sex. Sort of the defining moment.

 

[MQTA]

I actually do know a virgin gay guy. He says he is attracted to men, but wants to save himself for someone he loves. But then again, one of my best mates is gay, and would be exhibit "A" in favour of the sexual gratification case. Though he was a bit of a pervert even when he was dating women.

I think the reason people associate homosexuality with sexual gratification is because heterosexual people for the most part are under the opinion that you are not gay until you have had sex with another member of the same sex. Sort of the defining moment.

That's it! that's what I mean in Post #39

 

[Portgus]

I'm glad you like it

 

[hernyaccent]

My relationships isn't based on sexual gratification. My girlfriend and I didn't engage in sexual activity until a little over a year into the relationship because we wanted to build just that--a relationship.

 

[Portgus]

I find the mentality that you're not homosexual until you've had sexual relations with a memeber of the same sex, amusing. If you follow that logic, hetrosexuals are not hetrosexuals until they've had sexual relations with a memeber of the opposite sex, doesn't that imply that hetrosexual relationships would be just as guilty of sexual gratification as homosexual relationships? Unless you judge both preferences the same, you enter the realms of hypocrisy, and hypocrisy is bad, mmhmmm.


Remember when the scribes and Pharisees brought a woman before Jesus that was guilty of adultery? Hence Sexual gratification, no?

And what did Jesus say when the Pharisess and scribes asked him if she should be stoned, under the law of Moses?

...he lifted up himself, and said unto them, "He that is without sin among you, let him cast a stone at her."

I guess that means, do not condone a sinful action, or what you think is a sinful action, but more importantly, it in not your place to condem that person.

"Ye judge after the flesh; I judge no man."
16. And yet if I judge, my judgment is true: for I am not alone, but I and the Father that sent me."

again, just my opinion

 

[ChristianCenturion]

I actually do know a virgin gay guy. He says he is attracted to men, but wants to save himself for someone he loves. But then again, one of my best mates is gay, and would be exhibit "A" in favour of the sexual gratification case. Though he was a bit of a pervert even when he was dating women.

I think the reason people associate homosexuality with sexual gratification is because heterosexual people for the most part are under the opinion that you are not gay until you have had sex with another member of the same sex. Sort of the defining moment.

Well that may be a charming story to some, but you may wish to observe the OP topic. It is on homosexual relationships. Not an OP about homosexuals that abstain or struggle against their temptations.

 

[saami]

Homosexual relationships are not based on sexual gratification any more than heterosexual relationships are. The reason sex comes up so much is because it's the part of the relationship people have so many problems with. Imagine the thread, "Is it a sin for 2 men to split the electric bill?" See... it doesn't work. In my experience, it is the homophobe who is so obsessed with homosexual sex. Homosexuals are just going about their business in much the same way your parents do.

Tril

well said

 

[beechy]

Well that may be a charming story to some, but you may wish to observe the OP topic. It is on homosexual relationships. Not an OP about homosexuals that abstain or struggle against their temptations.

Portgus was responding to a post in the thread. If we couldn't do that, this wouldn't be a discussion.

 

[xMinionX]

They're not based solely on sexual gratification. Partly, yes. But no more or less than heterosexual relationships.

Really, they're exactly like heteros except for the object of their affections. I don't know why this is so hard for people to accept.

 

[ChristianCenturion]

They're not based solely on sexual gratification. Partly, yes. But no more or less than heterosexual relationships.

Really, they're exactly like heteros except for the object of their affections. I don't know why this is so hard for people to accept.

If I had said that it was "solely", then I would imagine that I would have misspoke. As it is, there are many things that we do that contain both good and evil. I addressed the pertinent component that defines the problem and is reflected in Christian teaching.
If a metaphor is better, it is the remaining "healthy parts" of the body that are healthy. There is nothing wrong (in and of themselves) with loving, respecting, cherishing, spending time with another, etc. I do that myself with both men and women and God declares that a good thing. It is when the cancer invades or the contaminant is placed into the water that makes it unhealthy. That is why we have surgeons and filters.

 

[mpshiel]

Why are all homosexual relationships...Based on sexual gratification. I have heard this claim by many people and I thought it deserves its own thread.

The answer is: they aren't
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2004/02/27/MNG1H59R5Q1.DTL

There are studies that find that the majority of gay men and lesbians want enduring relationships," said Esther Rothblum, a psychology professor at University of Vermont who is conducting her own study on couples united in civil unions in Vermont in 2000-2001

I know many couples in a "relationship" who don't have sex, because they haven't reached that stage yet - they might hold hands or kiss but then, when a straight couple is engaged, do people think they are in a "relationship"? And if some people think that hanging around, being attracted to, kissing, holding hands and sharing experiences with someone of the same sex isn't a homosexual relationship then "voila!" - you don't have to worry about a lot of young "gays" because according to you...they're not!

even the Anglican church not only acknowledges celibate gay relationships, but has it as part of anglican law.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/religion/Story/0,2763,1536206,00.html

If you actually want to know about gay and lesbian relationships, I recommend talking to different couples - there is no single rule for couples (or triples) whether gay, striaght or bi - I know couples who are married without sex (both staright and gay), and all the way up to couples who have open relationships but to state that sexual gratification is more important than ANYTHING else in a relationship either indicates that a) you are a man or b) you don't know many women. (for y'all striaghts you might want to think of the phrase women used in the UK for several generations: Lie back and think of the queen).

http://www.msu.edu/~aacm/Publications/Moving Forward/ab2d.htm

Lesbians and most feminists insist that concepts of family be extended to include a wide range of relationships. For lesbians, these might include celibate relationships, political lesbianism, and relationships based on affectional or emotional ties. Other relationships may include sex but also include emotional support, companionship, respect, kindness, honesty, and a host of other qualities sometimes missing from the usual bonds of heterosexual practice.

 

[beechy]

If I had said that it was "solely", then I would imagine that I would have misspoke. As it is, there are many things that we do that contain both good and evil. I addressed the pertinent component that defines the problem and is reflected in Christian teaching.
If a metaphor is better, it is the remaining "healthy parts" of the body that are healthy. There is nothing wrong (in and of themselves) with loving, respecting, cherishing, spending time with another, etc. I do that myself with both men and women and God declares that a good thing. It is when the cancer invades or the contaminant is placed into the water that makes it unhealthy. That is why we have surgeons and filters.

The feelings a gay person may have for a person of the same sex that straight people (presumably) don't, are feelings of romantic love and everything that brings with it.

Whether or not my same-sex partner and I are having sex, my love for her is different than that which I have for my other friends. I search for her in a crowded room. I want to build a life with her. I want to spend as much time with her as I can. I want to own a home with her and to start a family. And she feels the same way about me. We are committed to one another in this way, to the exclusion of all others. I don't want this from my other friends, no matter how much I love and cherish them. Now that's not to say that I don't desire to express my love for her physically as well (yet another thing that distinguishes our relationship from that which I have with any other person on the planet), but that's only one part this homosexual story.

 

[Arnold_Philips]

Well that may be a charming story to some, but you may wish to observe the OP topic. It is on homosexual relationships. Not an OP about homosexuals that abstain or struggle against their temptations.

If Toboe wanted to keep the thread on track (which it mostly has been), then he would have chided us. The thread is just running it's natural permutating course. No need to be the thread nanny.

edit: I wrote Helo when I meant Toboe...

 

[beechy]

I think the OP maybe should have asked...can a gay person NOT have a romantic relationship? Like straight people can do? Straight single people have remained virgins their whole life....or until they are married. If gays could marry (which in some places they can) would any of them beable to refrain from any sexual relationship until then? Do gay always have to be in a romantic relationship? All the ones I know, do. If they aren't, they are sure looking....they seem to not beable to be happy with themselves by themselves at all for any length of time. (not talking about having friends) but I mean they seem to HAVE to be in a relationship that almost always involves sex. Why is that? Even the Christians gays feel they have to be in a heavy relationship that also involves sex. Can they be in a dating relationship that does not involve sex like straight people can?

I am straight...I have dated in years after being an abusive marriage. I focus on raising my son....I am not even seeking a romantic relationship at all and I am content with that. Its not that I am dead and my sex drive died, but that I am able to control that desire rather then let it control me. So can a gay person do what I am doing? Choose to NOT date and NOT be in any romantic relationship for years on end and be content with that? I have never see any gay person on here say this. I always seen them commenting about the relationship they are in.

I really would like to know...honest answers please? I promise I won't throw it back in your face and go SEE the bible was right...that would be very cruel of me to do. But then it just dawned on me...who would admit they can't do that knowing full well others on here would take advanage of that? well dang...

Ok well....I guess the only ones who will answer will be those that have done this and were fine from it..I guess we would only be hearing from them. No one is going to be stupid enough to admit they can't go without a romantic relationship on here (and yes I am aware many straight people can't either)...sigh.. too bad we can't just talk on here withouth throwing mud around all the time...

I think the answer to this question will vary greatly depending on who you ask. I was straight my whole life until I met my current same sex partner, with whom I've been in an exclusive, committed relationship for over a year. Before this relationship, I'd been single for about 3 years. And I certainly wasn't looking for a same sex relationship during that time -- but love happens

I have a number of gay friends, some of whom are single, some of whom are in a relationship. Some of my single gay/lesbian friends are actively looking for a relationship, others are happy being single. I don't think that any of those that are happy being single (I could be wrong) would say they would reject the love of their life if (s)he came along -- although some of them may say they truly aren't ready for a relationship right now. Pretty much the same story as you'd find with my single straight friends, I suppose. In fact, I definitely know way more straight people who are downright depressed that they can't seem to find a partner. As for the virginity issue, I'm not sure if I know any virgins at my age (again, I could be wrong).

 

[ChristianCenturion]

If Helo wanted to keep the thread on track (which it mostly has been), then he would have chided us. The thread is just running it's natural permutating course. No need to be the thread nanny.

It was merely a notation that an argument was made that didn't apply to many of the posts representing the "opposite side" of the discussion.
I am well aware how these particular threads wander. I simply planted a GPS post and it wasn't an authoritative statement since I am not a moderator.

 

[whitestar]

I think the answer to this question will vary greatly depending on who you ask. I was straight my whole life until I met my current same sex partner, with whom I've been in an exclusive, committed relationship for over a year. Before this relationship, I'd been single for about 3 years. And I certainly wasn't looking for a same sex relationship during that time -- but love happens

I have a number of gay friends, some of whom are single, some of whom are in a relationship. Some of my single gay/lesbian friends are actively looking for a relationship, others are happy being single. I don't think that any of those that are happy being single (I could be wrong) would say they would reject the love of their life if (s)he came along -- although some of them may say they truly aren't ready for a relationship right now. Pretty much the same story as you'd find with my single straight friends, I suppose. In fact, I definitely know way more straight people who are downright depressed that they can't seem to find a partner. As for the virginity issue, I'm not sure if I know any virgins at my age (again, I could be wrong).

Thank you for answering honestly...I do mean that.
The gays I know..and I mean are my friends and I do know them well, cannot seem to be content without being a relationship that does involve sex. They can't just 'date'. The gay guy, now struggling to break out of his lifestyle, still thinks alot about other guys but the focus IS sexual for the most part. The short period of time that my gay girl friend wasn't seeing anyone she tried to also break out of it and wanted so bad to form a relationship with a man, but due to her childhood which was extremely horrible, she simply does not know how to have a relationship with a man. Her dad was extremely abusive...one of the worse cases I ever heard of actually. How she even survived it, and her brothers and sisters, I don't know. It was really, really awful. All her gay relationship have been where they just move in with each other right off the bat. If there was any actually dating first, and getting to know each other, it was very short lived.

 

[Electric Sceptic]

I think there's an important point here that isn't being considered, at least regarding male homosexual relationships. That point is that males, in general, are far more interested in promiscuous and 'early' (in a relationship) sex than females. Homosexual males tend to act as heterosexual males would like to in terms of multiple partners, promiscuity and so forth - but the heterosexual males can't, because their partners are females, who aren't as interested in that sort of thing. Homosexuals' partners are other males, who are as interested in that sort of thing as they are.

So, what I believe is that male homosexuals' relationships are as 'about sex' as male heterosexuals would LIKE their relationships to be.

 

[Portgus]

Well that may be a charming story to some, but you may wish to observe the OP topic. It is on homosexual relationships. Not an OP about homosexuals that abstain or struggle against their temptations.

ummm this is the OP

Why are all homosexual relationships...

Based on sexual gratification. I have heard this claim by many people and I thought it deserves its own thread.

And the second half of my post addressed that issue... did you even read all of it? Because you quoted all of it.

I actually do know a virgin gay guy. He says he is attracted to men, but wants to save himself for someone he loves. But then again, one of my best mates is gay, and would be exhibit "A" in favour of the sexual gratification case. Though he was a bit of a pervert even when he was dating women.

I think the reason people associate homosexuality with sexual gratification is because heterosexual people for the most part are under the opinion that you are not gay until you have had sex with another member of the same sex. Sort of the defining moment.

I draw your attention to the second paragraph, the one in bold now.

 

[beechy]

Thank you for answering honestly...I do mean that.
The gays I know..and I mean are my friends and I do know them well, cannot seem to be content without being a relationship that does involve sex. They can't just 'date'. The gay guy, now struggling to break out of his lifestyle, still thinks alot about other guys but the focus IS sexual for the most part. The short period of time that my gay girl friend wasn't seeing anyone she tried to also break out of it and wanted so bad to form a relationship with a man, but due to her childhood which was extremely horrible, she simply does not know how to have a relationship with a man. Her dad was extremely abusive...one of the worse cases I ever heard of actually. How she even survived it, and her brothers and sisters, I don't know. It was really, really awful. All her gay relationship have been where they just move in with each other right off the bat. If there was any actually dating first, and getting to know each other, it was very short lived.

I don't know what to tell ya ... except I'm sorry for your friend with the horrible childhood Again, I have more straight than gay friends and so in my experience these problems are more often descriptive of the straight people I know. I have lots of troubled and well adjusted friends on both sides of the orientation divide. Sounds like your experience has been different.