Why Am I Afraid Of Church?

[Michael Vela]

Currently I am considering my faith.

So when I meet people with a faith i'm not to fussed, that's what ever they want.

But I was recently asked to go to a church to celebrate something to do with Jesus, I was at first really looking forward to go then the day before I felt dark, as if going to church would be wrong for me, Because I have honestly done somethings that some people may deem a "sin" and some pretty bad sins at that, and to me it feels as if I am disrespecting god in his own house, by me going in there and pretending to pray and it just feels so odd.

I have social issues but that's because speaking to people is really hard for me and i try to avoid it.

I'm not sure that is related to the issue though, I often find myself crying in my bed a night praying to a god that i'm not 100% sure I have faith in, and it's becoming confusing.

So I asked some friends and was told that I may have a demonic presents inside of me, which I instantly said "No" because that's sounds really silly, but coming to think of it I am doing things that I would NEVER do usually and all of a sudden i'm randomly getting dark thoughts about god not thinking i'm god enough and of course the classic "I'm going to spend the next eternity burning in hell" and that's a little scary for me.

I would openly admit I have done things very "Wrong" to the faithfulness of people, but does that mean something is now blocking me or hindering me from going to church? It sounds really silly but what if its true? what if i have a demonic being inside of me? will that demon bring me down to hell? why do i think of things that are a little dark?


Am I just a bad person all round and god hates having me near his people? I

 

[R.Carrington]

Hello Michael,

Naturally when asking about topics such as demon possession to a group of highly eclectic and varied background peoples of faith, you're likely to receive a multitude of answers. That being said, it seems likely that demonic possession is perhaps a rather extreme direction to take while seeking an explanation for your "dark thoughts."

The truth is that all people suffer from the effects of a fallen (sinful) state which results in a disconnectedness from God. When God first created humankind, the natural state of mankind was to live in perfect harmony with God. In order for this relationship to be valid however mankind needed to have the ability to choose for itself to wilfully obey the decrees of God or to reject God's way and rebel. Unfortunately, humankind chose to reject God in favour of our own way and as a result we now suffer from the affects of that decision.

Once humanity chose rebellion, the perfect union with God was broken through our sinful choice and humankind experienced a spiritual death, by which, each and every person living (physically) suffers from a spiritual deadness, or, a separation from the God-desired unity with our Creator.

Because of this departure from our natural state, humankind desires to know God in a more direct way. While this is certainly a natural part of our humanity, it does sound as if you may be experiencing what many Christians refer to as "spiritual warfare."

This terminology is used to explain the concept that there currently exists a struggle for your heart/soul between the natural call of God in your life and the attempts of God's adversary to entice you toward rebellion from this state of unity with your Creator. In a sense, your life and afterlife is a precious thing to God (because He loves and cares for you), but also that it is important to God's adversary (because he wants to hurt God).

In light of this struggle, it is often understood that God's adversary seeks to divert, discourage, and destroy any hope of humanity being reconciled to God and thus made whole again. In fact, there are many places in the Bible which persuade believers to guard against such attacks and encouragements of Christ's victory over these powers of opposition.

Sadly, individuals are sometimes convinced that if they believe in God that all their problems will dissolve away, however this is unfortunately not the case. The reality is that Christians still struggle with sin, difficulties, and spiritual warfare - but for the believer in Christ the outcomes are quite different.

Being a Christian and having faith in God doesn't mean that the bad experiences of life go away, but rather it does mean that we are able to have hope and perspective when those things come our way. To clarify, I'm not speaking of hope in the sense of what may or may not come to pass, but rather an abiding certainty in the power and ultimate victory of God in the struggle. Christians believe that while we struggle with the pains of this world now, that these struggles will not last forever.

As far as disrespecting God by visiting a church, I feel confident in saying that God is well-pleased that you are making the effort to know Him more. Don't forget that all people come to God in various states of disrepair and brokenness. People around you may all look like they have their act together, but I can assure you that many have struggles and fears of their own, and being a Christian doesn't mean that we don't have our own dark thoughts from time to time.

You don't have to pretend to believe in God or even to pray in order to visit a church, just be open, honest, and respectful with Christians in the church who you know and trust; nothing more than you would be expected to do at any other house of worship. Ask questions, keep an open mind about what you hear, and think through the claims of Jesus in a rational way - they really do make sense if you seek. One thing I've found over the years of my study is that God wants you to know Him and He makes a very compelling argument for why we should believe what He says.

God's adversary would love nothing more than for you to reject the opportunity to know God better because it means that he gets to keep you away from God and cause Him to lose a precious creation. It's not "silly" to consider that God's adversary might try to keep you away from interactions with God or people of faith, but try to remember that good things take work and, often, courage.

I sincerely hope that this information is helpful to you. If you'd like to speak more on the topic I'd be happy to listen and try to help. Cheers.

-Carrington

 

[tdidymas]

Currently I am considering my faith.

So when I meet people with a faith i'm not to fussed, that's what ever they want.

But I was recently asked to go to a church to celebrate something to do with Jesus, I was at first really looking forward to go then the day before I felt dark, as if going to church would be wrong for me, Because I have honestly done somethings that some people may deem a "sin" and some pretty bad sins at that, and to me it feels as if I am disrespecting god in his own house, by me going in there and pretending to pray and it just feels so odd.

I have social issues but that's because speaking to people is really hard for me and i try to avoid it.

I'm not sure that is related to the issue though, I often find myself crying in my bed a night praying to a god that i'm not 100% sure I have faith in, and it's becoming confusing.

So I asked some friends and was told that I may have a demonic presents inside of me, which I instantly said "No" because that's sounds really silly, but coming to think of it I am doing things that I would NEVER do usually and all of a sudden i'm randomly getting dark thoughts about god not thinking i'm god enough and of course the classic "I'm going to spend the next eternity burning in hell" and that's a little scary for me.

I would openly admit I have done things very "Wrong" to the faithfulness of people, but does that mean something is now blocking me or hindering me from going to church? It sounds really silly but what if its true? what if i have a demonic being inside of me? will that demon bring me down to hell? why do i think of things that are a little dark?


Am I just a bad person all round and god hates having me near his people? I

Michael: we are all sinners. What makes us saints is belief in Christ, and staying on the narrow way He called us to walk. What someone is telling you about you having a demon is superstitious nonsense. There are such things as demons, but believe me, if you had one, you'd surely know it. We all have "demons" in our mind (we use this as a figure of speech), in the sense that we all have spiritual battles to fight.

I had a time in my life dealing with lack of knowledge of God. I found that I was having to put faith in a God I really didn't know. But after 40 years of Bible study and living the Christian life, I have no doubts about Him. I hope that I can assure you to go ahead in going to church, because God is NOT one who is far away, with a frown, saying "You love me, and then I will decide if you live or die." But rather God is represented in Christ, like one who is near, arms outstretched, love in His eyes, saying "come to Me as you are; I will make you right."
TD

 

[FireDragon76]

Everybody else has just given good advice. At one time exorcism was universal for anyone who was going to join the Church. So yes, demonic influence is a real possibility. This doesn't mean you are necessarily "possessed", but there are demonic influences all around us- why else do so many genuinely evil, depraved things happen in the world? The best thing to do would just be to ignore these fearful thoughts and resolve to be an honest seeker of truth- that God will not hold against you.

 

[ViaCrucis]

Currently I am considering my faith.

So when I meet people with a faith i'm not to fussed, that's what ever they want.

But I was recently asked to go to a church to celebrate something to do with Jesus, I was at first really looking forward to go then the day before I felt dark, as if going to church would be wrong for me, Because I have honestly done somethings that some people may deem a "sin" and some pretty bad sins at that, and to me it feels as if I am disrespecting god in his own house, by me going in there and pretending to pray and it just feels so odd.

The thing is, nobody who enters into the church house enters without sin. Because each and every person is a bona fide sinner. Christians are no less sinful than anyone else. So if you entered into the church building you wouldn't be suddenly a sinner amid non sinners, you'd be a sinner amid sinners. Because that is precisely the only thing anyone brings to them to church--their sin.

In a number of historic church traditions (such as my own Lutheran tradition) one of the main components of the liturgy (liturgy, usually, just refers to the traditional worship service such as a Catholic Mass, or what you see in Lutheran, Episcopal, and Methodist churches) is what is known as the Penitential Rite, where we as a congregation offer a prayerful confession of our sin, an example of that prayer looks like this:

"Most merciful God, we confess that we have sinned against you in thought, word, and deed, by what we have done, and by what we have left undone. We have not loved you with our whole heart; we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. We are truly sorry and we humbly repent, for the sake of your Son Jesus Christ, have mercy on us and forgive us; that we may delight in your will, and walk in your ways, to the glory of your Name. Amen."

After which the pastor, who speaks by the authority and name of Christ as found in John 20:22-23, speaks what are known as the Words of Absolution, an example of such being,

"God, the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of his Son has reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins; through the ministry of the Church may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, + and of the Holy Spirit."

This happens near or around the beginning of the service, it provides us the opportunity to bear ourselves before God in humility, and to hear the gracious words of God's Gospel that we are, in Christ, freely forgiven of all our sin. And in that we can proceed in the offering of thanksgiving, praise, and ultimately come before Christ at His Table--Holy Communion--and receive Him with a clean conscience.

It has been said that the Church is a hospital for sinners, that saying goes back at least to ancient times; by the same token the Church is not a country club for saints. Christ said He came for the unrighteous, that it is the sick who need a doctor. If we were not sinners, we'd have no reason to go to church--it is because we are sinners, because we are sinners every day and every hour of every day--that these things are freely available to us.

Because Christ did not call together an assembly of the best of the best, instead Christ called together a church of sinners, losers, rejects, and fools. Which is why everyone is welcome.

-CryptoLutheran

 

[aiki]

But I was recently asked to go to a church to celebrate something to do with Jesus, I was at first really looking forward to go then the day before I felt dark, as if going to church would be wrong for me, Because I have honestly done somethings that some people may deem a "sin" and some pretty bad sins at that, and to me it feels as if I am disrespecting god in his own house, by me going in there and pretending to pray and it just feels so odd.

Romans 3:23
23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

Romans 3:10
10 As it is written: "There is none righteous, no, not one;

It's pretty normal to feel conscious of your sin in a place made for the worship of the perfect Holy God. Do you think that sense of guilt you have, that awareness of your need of forgiveness, should be a provocation do so something about what stands between you and your Maker?

It isn't only in church where your disrespect is happening. The reality is that every moment you live without God at the center of your life - where He ought to be - you show God enormous disrespect. It's odd that you would have a sense of this when you're in a church. It's true whatever building you might be in.

I have social issues but that's because speaking to people is really hard for me and i try to avoid it.

You can't improve in an activity that you avoid. God didn't make us to be self-centered. We live as we truly ought to live when we have God and then others as our primary focus.

Matthew 22:35-39
35 Then one of them, a lawyer, asked Him a question, testing Him, and saying,
36 "Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?"
37 Jesus said to him, "'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.'
38 This is the first and great commandment.
39 And the second is like it: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'

I'm not sure that is related to the issue though, I often find myself crying in my bed a night praying to a god that i'm not 100% sure I have faith in, and it's becoming confusing.

You either have faith in God or you don't. Now, your faith in Him may not be very strong at the moment, but that's different than not believing in God at all.

So I asked some friends and was told that I may have a demonic presents inside of me, which I instantly said "No" because that's sounds really silly, but coming to think of it I am doing things that I would NEVER do usually and all of a sudden i'm randomly getting dark thoughts about god not thinking i'm god enough and of course the classic "I'm going to spend the next eternity burning in hell" and that's a little scary for me.

Some interesting typos in this paragraph! I don't know about you having demonic presents (as far as I know demons don't give out presents) but the Bible says that there is an unseen spiritual realm inhabited by angels and demons that affects us very profoundly. Our Enemy the devil "walks about seeking whom he may devour," the Bible declares. He is the "god of this world" and his demonic agents move among us enacting his destructive will. It's pretty unlikely, though, that you have a demonic presence in the sense of being directly possessed/oppressed by a demon (unless you've been mucking around in the occult or in sexual perversion).

It should scare the pants off of you that you are in jeopardy of going to Hell!

I would openly admit I have done things very "Wrong" to the faithfulness of people, but does that mean something is now blocking me or hindering me from going to church?

Maybe. Satan and his demons certainly don't want you going to church. Is it surprising, then, that they would encourage you to steer clear of churches? If they can keep you out of church, they can limit your exposure to God's life-changing truth. They don't want you to change. If you remain just as you are, they will one day see you suffer the eternal wrath of God. That's their primary goal. Your eternal destruction. You going to let them have their way with you?

Am I just a bad person all round and god hates having me near his people?

Well, yes, you are a bad person. We all are. That's why we need Jesus. He is the bridge between wicked sinners like you and me and our perfectly holy Creator. And through Him God shows us, not His hatred, but His incredible, depthless love.

1 John 4:9-10
9 In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him.
10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

Selah.

 

[ToBeLoved]

Currently I am considering my faith.

So when I meet people with a faith i'm not to fussed, that's what ever they want.

But I was recently asked to go to a church to celebrate something to do with Jesus, I was at first really looking forward to go then the day before I felt dark, as if going to church would be wrong for me, Because I have honestly done somethings that some people may deem a "sin" and some pretty bad sins at that, and to me it feels as if I am disrespecting god in his own house, by me going in there and pretending to pray and it just feels so odd.

I have social issues but that's because speaking to people is really hard for me and i try to avoid it.

I'm not sure that is related to the issue though, I often find myself crying in my bed a night praying to a god that i'm not 100% sure I have faith in, and it's becoming confusing.

So I asked some friends and was told that I may have a demonic presents inside of me, which I instantly said "No" because that's sounds really silly, but coming to think of it I am doing things that I would NEVER do usually and all of a sudden i'm randomly getting dark thoughts about god not thinking i'm god enough and of course the classic "I'm going to spend the next eternity burning in hell" and that's a little scary for me.

I would openly admit I have done things very "Wrong" to the faithfulness of people, but does that mean something is now blocking me or hindering me from going to church? It sounds really silly but what if its true? what if i have a demonic being inside of me? will that demon bring me down to hell? why do i think of things that are a little dark?


Am I just a bad person all round and god hates having me near his people? I

First, Jesus loves you. You do not have to worry about being a negative influence to his people if you are respectful of God, yourself and others. The church is for sinners and we are all sinners. Christians just ask God to forgive their sins. God will forgive your sins if you ask Him too. That is a promise that He makes to us in His Word.

1 John 1:9
9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Have you asked Jesus Christ, with a repentant heart, to forgive your sins? He will.

Psalm 103:12
12 As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.

When Christ removes your sin, they are gone. He casts your sin as far as the east is from the west. Never to be spoken of again. After that happens, you need to forgive yourself and let it go as Christ has let your sin go.

The only thing that Christ asks of us is that we also forgive others as He has forgiven us. He is serious about this.

Matthew 6:14:15
14 For if you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive yours.

Have you asked Christ to forgive your sins?