Whoopee.

[Tissue]

After losing my dad to family matters, possibly losing my spot as valedictorian (and probably losing up to $10,000-$50,000 in scholarships because of it), and recent health concerns, I'm depressed. Once again.

Suicidal? No. I haven't reached that stage yet. But I'm not happy. I'm always tired, I'm always mild, and I'm always downcast. Life sucks, simply put, and it isn't getting better any time soon.

My spiritual life is bogged down, after a period of being unable to find God. I know He's out there, but for some reason He's making himself hidden. That's not too fun.

So, here I am, venting it out on some Christian Forum site to a bunch of strangers who will probably come in here and post a bunch of encouraging words that don't help. Ain't it great?

 

[John of Berkshire]

I wish that I could help you, but I don't have all of the answers. I do know that there are people in this world that worry about having enough to eat every day. I know that there are people who's primary concern is surviving one more day. I know that there are parents somewhere in Africa dying of AIDS, watching their children dying of AIDS. I know that somewhere this very second there is a woman being raped. There is someone being murdered. A child is being beaten. I remember that every time I even think about feeling sorry for myself. Maybe you should too...

Look, with all due respect, I am not trying to make you feel bad or say that you're a bad person, but there are a lot of people out there that can't even begin to worry about being valedictorian, scholarships, and going to college.

I understand that you have some health concerns and apparently there is a problem with you and your Father. What you need to do is focus on your health. Whatever the problem is with your Father, forgive him for whatever he has done and/or ask for forgiveness for what you have done. Even if he continues to do wrong, keep on forgiving him. Do what you need to do for yourself, but forgive and be apologetic for those things you have done. If he cannot reciprocate, then you move on. That is what people do when they run into problems. They move on.

Have faith that God will give you what you need. Leave the rest up to his will.

 

[RSteel]

I wanted to reply to this because for some reason I feel I can be of help to those in high school. John pretty much said a lot in his post, but the important thing I think for you to do right now in your life is to allow yourself to just focus on God...and know that He is in control of your situation. Right now, my life 'seems' out of control, but I know it's not. Things aren't always what they seem...isn't that usually the case? Don't you forget your homework one day (probably not often being the valedictorian), but haven't you forgotten your homework one day...then maybe you got really anxious about it when you went to that class...and then, you sit down waiting for the teacher to take up the homework when he/she says, "Well, I decided lasts night's homework was just practice, I'm not taking it up." Then, you get all upset cause you worried all about it for nothing! It's over! It never mattered! lol That happened to me quite often in school. Anyways, I suggest that you stay on track with school, even if you don't get the vale. spot. If you don't, I'm more than positive you'll still be going to college...that right there is more than a lot of people who graduate can say. I know there's a lot more going on in your life right now though than school...there was when I was 16. But, take advantage of your high school and your community programs as much as you can...no, you can't do everything (I wanted to do everything in high school.), but you can do a lot for yourself...and consequently others as well. Is this encouraging? Yes...Is this truthful? Most definately. If you don't take advantage of what you have now and allow yourself the 2 more years you need to graduate, then you may regret it. I know people who dropped out of high school and did well for themselves, but that's beside the point. The only thing I can tell you is to continue to use your the resources around you...which right now (I would think) would be your school, community, and college.