WHo Will Answer?

[MyGodMyGodWhy]

Life
As i write this note, i fight the tears in my eyes. This addiction plagues me still. Every time i tell myself that that will be the last time but i find myself doing it again. I hate myself for how gullible i have become.
The child i used to be wouldn't have been proud of this man. I love God. I want to serve Him. I want to know Him more. Why do i feel so powerless over this sinful addiction? I wonder if there's any help for me. I wonder if there's hope. I wonder if there's a future for me because i keep doing the same thing over and over again like a fool that never learns anything from his mistakes or the consequences of his actions. Am sure my prayers repulse God. I want to believe He's not mad at me but am sure he's tired of my failures. I only wish He could call me home so i would not have to keep fighting this demon - this addiction to masturbation, pornography and sex.
I've seen people live it. I know its possible to live a good Christian life but my childhood was abused, my teenage years was spent on pornography and masturbation and my adult life has been expended on prostitutes.
As the tears roll off my cheek, the song by Ed Ames comes to my mind - who will answer? From the canyons of the mind,
'We wander on and stumble blindly
Through the often-tangled maze
Of starless nights and sunless days,
While asking for some kind of clue
Or road to lead us to the truth,
But who will answer?'
I desperately want to live a Godly life. I've been religious all my life, gave my life and rededicated it several times yet it's still difficult for me to live the life i truly desire. Is there's still hope for me? Would i ever recover? Would i ever be good? Who will answer?

 

[Wagonmaker]

Life
As i write this note, i fight the tears in my eyes. This addiction plagues me still. Every time i tell myself that that will be the last time but i find myself doing it again. I hate myself for how gullible i have become.
The child i used to be wouldn't have been proud of this man. I love God. I want to serve Him. I want to know Him more. Why do i feel so powerless over this sinful addiction? I wonder if there's any help for me. I wonder if there's hope. I wonder if there's a future for me because i keep doing the same thing over and over again like a fool that never learns anything from his mistakes or the consequences of his actions. Am sure my prayers repulse God. I want to believe He's not mad at me but am sure he's tired of my failures. I only wish He could call me home so i would not have to keep fighting this demon - this addiction to masturbation, pornography and sex.
I've seen people live it. I know its possible to live a good Christian life but my childhood was abused, my teenage years was spent on pornography and masturbation and my adult life has been expended on prostitutes.
As the tears roll off my cheek, the song by Ed Ames comes to my mind - who will answer? From the canyons of the mind,
'We wander on and stumble blindly
Through the often-tangled maze
Of starless nights and sunless days,
While asking for some kind of clue
Or road to lead us to the truth,
But who will answer?'
I desperately want to live a Godly life. I've been religious all my life, gave my life and rededicated it several times yet it's still difficult for me to live the life i truly desire. Is there's still hope for me? Would i ever recover? Would i ever be good? Who will answer?

Bro, first... take a deep breath. I know you're tired of this. But if you really want to change you can. Otherwise you will be here again and again. No sugar-coating this one. You hate yourself right now, yeah. And tomorrow you'll be over it, and the next day, you'll be faced with the choice. Again.

If you don't already know, this issue is probably the biggest, most common of them all among males in America. Sex in so many forms can be a killer. Check this out. And this.

What are you going to do about it? Do you want a different life? It's ridiculously sweet on the other side of addiction. Trust some of us who have been there.

PM me if you have questions. Freedom is closer than you think if you choose it.

 

[morethanenough06]

Hey... I'm so sorry for the place you're in. I walked alongside my first husband who had a sex addiction. It was a painful journey. Is there hope? You bet there is! You've taken a good step by reaching out. This is not something you can do alone... which is why so many people with a sex addiction stay in it, it is a very secret addiction. But there is so much help for it. When my husband first reached out 15 years ago, there was little available to us, especially in the area we lived in. We finally ended up going halfway across the country for help. And it helped. I would recommend seeing a good Christian counselor who has expertise in sexual addiction counseling. Travel to find one if you have to. Many places also offer phone counseling. This is a very important step. There are also support groups... again, very important! Meet with other people who are in the same place as you, or who have been. Have someone keep you accountable. Pray with others. Satan's biggest ploy is to get us alone, to think we're the only one... but sex addiction is rampant and you are far from alone in this. God is on your side!! He has already won!!

 

[madison1101]

I'm sorry you are struggling right now with your addiction. I have done similarly, not exactly, what you have done. I know the guilt, shame and remorse. I participate in Alcoholics Anonymous, so I didn't need to attend a 12 Step program for sexual addiction. But know that there are groups for sex addiction. One is Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. The other is Sex Addiction Anonymous. Google them, and see if there are any meetings in your area.

Recovery is possible if you are willing to work all 12 Steps of the program, and surrender to God in the 3rd. Step.

God bless.

Trish