Who have you lost and how have you dealt with it?

[GMRELIC]

This is the first time I have ever gone on-line for support - of any kind. I have just suffered the loss of my best friend and soulmate who had just turned 44 two weeks ago. He committed suicide this past Friday in a hotel. I just don't understand. I'm having a difficult time understanding why this happened. I knew he was depressed about losing his business, I knew he was selling items and giving things away. I didn't make the connection - thought he just needed the money for rent. I love him and I know that he loved the Lord. He was Christian, non-denominational. Read the Bible. He was always so happy when I was with him. He left a long note to the police explaining his life and how he thought he had lost everything -- but in the final words, he also stated that what made this so difficult was the fact that he found the love of his life. So, why, why, did this happen? I don't mean to be selfish. I loved him with all my heart. He's gone. Now I need to hear from others as to what I can do to assure his assension into Heaven. I've prayed on it, cried on it...It's just so new. I found out about it this past Friday. I read some of the other posted messages about where does a Christian soul go? To Heaven? To Hell? In his letter, he states that he prays the Lord God forgives him... I pray He has. I would like to hear from others who have had experiences like this and how I can help him enter into the Kingdom of God. Please pray for him.

I lost my 15 year old son to a shotgun accident this last December, but I also lost my ex-wife, my sons Mother to suicide in 1994. I went to alot of Christian counceling after the death of my childrens mother with alot of the same questions that you have, after alot of prayers and counciling, I believe I have been givin the answers I needed so badly, even though my ex and your soul mate took thier own lives, they both did it out of desperation, they both felt that the pain of living surpassed thier fear of dying, God knows the frame of mind they were in when they chose to end thier suffering, he understands thier pain, he knows why they ended thier lives, he is a loving and a forgiving God, He is a God of Mercey and yes he has welcomed them into heaven, and has taken all their mental torment away. No God does not like suicide, he does not want people to take away thier gift of life, but he knows that the pain to continue living can totally become unbearable, It is easy for those who have never had to deal with such pain to quickly judge and say they are not allowed to the kingdom of heaven, but every Christian Theropist I talked with over this situation assured me that was false, one gave me an example of this,
he said do you forgive her for ending her life? I said "I am mad at her, but yes I forgive her" he then said, well God loves her 1000 times more than you do, so if you can forgive her for such an act you know God has forgivin her."
and I believe that, he knew her pain, he knows you soul mates pain, he understands, even though God may not agree, he understands. I will keep you in my prayers, and I pray you will be able to finally find peace and understanding in this tragic event. May God be with you and direct you to those that can help you understand this tragedy. God Bless you and my prayers are with you

 

[roses]

God decided to let my son go Home with Him when he just turned 20...My husband and I never thought we would see one of our children go before us.
Anytime you need to talk I'll be here for you. Sounds like you already know the only true help (God), but it you need a listening friend I'll be that friend.
May God hold you and your family ih His loving, tender arms.

 

[Galatians5:22and23]

My Grandma was diagnosed with cancer on September 9th, 2003. She had a tumor in her neck, she had lung cancer, and she had cancer in her liver and kidneys. She never drank or smoked. She was a very strong Christian. She knew where she was going. She passed away almost 4 months to the date. It's hard, because I was very close to her. I lived a mile away from her for 16+ years. I miss her so much. I know someday I will see her again, that's what I just keeping holding onto. I am so happy that she's not in pain anymore and that she is with her Lord now. It helps a lot to talk about it with friends, family, and to pray to Jesus about it. Jesus has helped me through this and He continues too.
Thanks for reading.

 

[Dymphna3]

My son, Hunter, was murdered and he died on October 26, 2001. It was hard...it's STILL hard. All I have to hold onto is that I"ll see him again one day & and that he is with God now. I cry almost everyday that I don't have my Hunter. His third birthday was on July 18th. I have been going to a support group online for over 2 years now, they help immensly. Without them and my faith I don't know where I would be.

Thanks for letting me let this out.

 

[chilly509]

I lost my closest friend and the one who brought me to the Lord. My sister committed suicide about 4 years ago. With out the Love of My Father God, I would not have made it. Not only did she do that but my family's way of dealing with it was to blame it on me. I was not even in the same state. I pray for my family daily, and am asking the Lord to help me to forgive them. I still hold anger at them but I do not want anything to be between me and the Lord so I continually ask Him for the power to overcome this anger. My sister was saved and was probably the most spiritual person I have ever met. Anyone who ever met here was led to the lord. She is at home now so the suffering has ceased, but I still miss her and look forward to when we meet in the sky. I think that is how I deal with it, is I know that God is real and I believe everyword in the bible. So we all will be united in the end (Born of the Spirit that is). That is why it is so important that we spread the Good News of the Gospel, because it is required in our faith and also our God does not want one to perish. God Bless everyone who reads this and may he Bless all of yours!

 

[Why?]

I have lost a few people in my life, but there is one that stands out. My cousin, whom I loved dearly, was shot in the back of the head twice at close range. It's very hard to deal with murder because someone is deliberately taking away a life, one that they have no claim to. He was camping with two "friends". The police have the murder weapon with finger prints on it. Still, after 6 years there has been no arrest. TJ would have been 28 now, his daughter is 9.

 

[avouer]

I lost my husband in a car accident on our son's 3rd birthday on July 20, 1976. On a hunch, I went the following week to have a pregnancy test done and I was pregnant with our daughter. She was born April 2, 1977. I was 20 yearts old.
Since then, I have lost a son at birth, a best friend to a car accident, and a sister to a homidice last July 13, 2004.

Life is good, hard sometimes, but always good.
He sustains me,

J

 

[WhiteFeather]

I lost my son 30 yrs ago, then a husband 28 years ago, it wasnt until this year I quit living in the past, and walked as a dead woman, because I came to know the Lord on a more personal level. I believed The Lord saved me from a brutal husband 30 yrs ago,and not only saved me, but in the loss of my son, The Lord kept him from being one more "wife beater" and me a statistic. I never understood the senseless murder of my new husband 2 yrs. later and held on to him for dear life, I just recently was able to forgive the man who murdered him. For the most part altho I was not an unbeliever, I was just trying to be a good person and I definately was not saved. Thank the Lord I am now, and am set free from bondage and living with the spirit of death too many years. I can only give credit to the Lord, and know I have wasted many long years of my life, for thinking I deserved only bad things in my life, and just waiting for my time to die.

 

[bubblefish]

I lost my uncle on 17 September this year from a brain tumor. In some ways i was happy and relieved. He and my family had been in so much pain for months before that. He could not walk, eat or talk. And all the operations and things. But it was still hard to think he was gone. But god really helped me, as well as my friends. Something just told me that it was and would be ok. That he was fine and safe. God comforted me and helped me even when I turned away from him, and in some ways I have become stronger in faith and I have been able to help another girl I know who is going through the same type of problem with her grandmother who is very sick.

 

[tjboie2001]

I lost my Mom a couple of weeks ago I am only 25.

 

[Maharg]

Hello tjboie2001

There are no words I can offer in reply to your post, but just to let you know I have prayed for you.

God bless

Maharg

 

[jesus died for ME!]

I lost my grandmother on feb. 24, 2004 at about 10:00 in the morning. She died after fighting breast cancer for 8 years.

 

[LegacyOfLove]

Hi. I am new here and just now happening upon this post. I have lost: a son (in 1991 to SIDS/crib death), my uncle (May 2002-murdered by his ex-wife), my paternal grandmother (Jan. 2003) and my maternal grandmother (Jan. 2004). Currently, I have a cousin (who I am rather close to) whose son is now on hospice (St. Jude's patient) with terminal cancer. So, loss seems to about lately, but my faith has ironically grown stronger through all of this, rather than faltering, because I know that all things happen for a reason and in God's timing. And that one day...we'll be together again in our eternal HOME...never to be separated again. That brings me such personal joy to have that hope!

 

[SavedChild]

My greatgrandfather when I was around 2 or 3 he had cancer.. Back in 1986 he passed

I lost my cousin, 1991 I was about 6 or 7 he was 15.. He was murdered, shot in the heart.

My grandmothers brother, I believe he's my second uncle, in 1991 he was killed in a car crash, he slammed into a pole.

My grandmother who raised me, passed away on September 6th, 1993, labor day, remember it like it was yesterday. She passed from breast cancer.

A friend of mine passed away in a car wreck, no seatbelt, she was ejected out of the car, and the car landed ontop of her, she was 15, this happened before Christmas 1999

Just recently on September 24th of this year, my great grandmother passed.

 

[GreenEyedLady]

Hi. I am new here and just now happening upon this post. I have lost: a son (in 1991 to SIDS/crib death), my uncle (May 2002-murdered by his ex-wife), my paternal grandmother (Jan. 2003) and my maternal grandmother (Jan. 2004). Currently, I have a cousin (who I am rather close to) whose son is now on hospice (St. Jude's patient) with terminal cancer. So, loss seems to about lately, but my faith has ironically grown stronger through all of this, rather than faltering, because I know that all things happen for a reason and in God's timing. And that one day...we'll be together again in our eternal HOME...never to be separated again. That brings me such personal joy to have that hope!

AMEN my SISTER! AMEN!

 

[Messenger30]

I lost my uncle in 2001 but found a closer relationship with God after the lose.....My uncle gave to me and my family this relationship...I am not exactly sure why ....but I thank God each day for the wonderful experience.....I have been fortunate not to have lost many close to me. I pray for each of you to have strength in your lose.....I am so very proud of GreenEyedLady for the courage and strength she has had caring on after her baby's death and to each of you who has lost a loved one. God bless you all. I can't even imagine the pain you must feel. But you are all here for a reason.

Live and Love and may God Bless you,
Messenger

 

[Messenger30]

My 4 month old daughter Kathlyn died in May of 1983. My 1 week old daughter Glorya in October of 84.

I briefly mentioned this in another thread. From 1998 -2000, my sister, mother and brother passed, each year one of them passed. Losing my mother was the toughest I believe. The Members of her church were a tough act... but somehow my mother's last words to me helped me to cope with their attitudes and every loss I have endured before and after is what has helped me to cope.

My mother who was very well loved and an active teacher in the church (don't get me wrong she was not perfect or anything) was diagnosed with lung cancer in 1997. Many of the saints prayed for her recovery and she did quite well through 1998. In May of 1999 on Mother's Day, she took a turn for the worse. The Pastor's wife who was one of Mama's closest friends took up the cause to pray for her healing. (through prayer groups and personal prayer) She would call me often and ask if we were praying for and with Mama. I told her we were. Mama died on the 2nd of June 1999 in my arms. When I called to inform the Pastor and his wife, she said our family should have prayed with more faith. (She was wrought with tears and grief) She accused our family of not having the faith to move God to heal my mother. I knew she was just grieving and looking to vent.

The insult came when the Pastor called me 3 days before Mama's funeral, and said, "You all really need to work on your faith. If there had been more faith in your prayers, your mother would have been healed. (That really hurt me)

I prayed about it, I did not want to go to the funeral mad as a hatter, plus Mama's final arrangements were my responsibility so I already had enough on my mind.

When I spoke at Mama's funeral, God brought to my heart the words she shared with me before she passed into the arms of Jesus. I first reminded them of who we were in Christ. And I told them that my mother did not want you all to feel sorry for our loss or her death. Our loss is truly her gain. (as the Apostle Paul taught) then I turned to the pulpit and said; some of you think our faith was not strong enough to move the Lord to heal her... but my mother wanted you all to know in the event she should die, your prayers had been answered, God has given her the HIGHEST HEALING, she is with HIM forevermore.

The next day the Pastor called me and apologized for the remarks that were made, going as far as to admit, that he'd taken his eyes off of the infinate goal of the Believer... ETERNAL LIFE WITH CHRIST! And for a brief moment he was looking at the finite world.

We are pretty close than these days, the next year the day before the first anniversary of Mama's passing, his wife died of a massive stroke, my mother's words helped him and his family to see the eternal value of their loss.

AMEN!!!

Love and God Bless you,
Messenger

 

[blessedbyhimmom]

I lost my grandmother this past Friday, November 27th. Her funeral is Saturday. Unfortunately I have not seen her since 98, I live 3000 miles away.
But we talked every week on the phone. It was a horrid death for her, full of pain. I miss her so much.
My dad passed in 98. My aunt in 94. My uncle in 90.
That's just my side of the family.
Last year we lost 3 major people in my dh's family. His fav. aunt in May. His uncle in July and his grandmother in August.
I'm so heart broke about my gramma. I don't know how I will ever let her go.
I don't think she was a Christian. I'm just totally devastated.
I think I'm still somewhere between shock and denial.
I want her back NOW!
But I know the Lord is in control and i am not appointed general manager of the universe.
Just knowing someone that you love so much you will never be able to hear them, see them, touch them, smell them...never again maybe.
My heart just aches.

 

[Glorianna]

I lost my cousin. He and I were pretty close because he was only two years older than me (my brothers' age). I have so many amazing memories of the five of us (my brother, this cousin, his brother, his sister, and I) and things just aren't the same without him. I have had difficulty dealing with this but am getting through it by taking it one day at a time and drawing close to my heavenly Father.

 

[TravellingGrace]

I lost my Papa (Grandfather) on November 12th 2004 to cancer... I got a phone call from my mom, so I called her back and my uncle answered the phone (i thought that was weird at the time). He told me that my Papa wasn't doing well and that I needed to get to the hospital right away... I was crushed... he hadn't even died and I was bawling so much... I managed to settle down for the car ride to the hospital... my best friend drove me... I'm so glad she was there.

I got there, and he was struggling to breathe, and wasn't responding at all... all of his kids were there (my aunts and uncles) even the ones from Prince George. He was in so much pain... and could hardly breathe... 10 minutes after getting there, I watched my Papa die... God has perfect timing I guess you could say.

Afterwards, I called a few friends and asked for prayer, I really needed it, and so did my family. I went to a conference down in the states that same day for the weekend, which was cool, but my heart was still heavy... I had just lost the Papa that was always there for me... afterall, I was 1 out of 2 granddaughters that he had; the rest were boys. I've been praying about it randomly when I think about it, and I know God is taking care of my family and I... but I'm so scared I'm not going to see my Papa in heaven. I'm not sure if he accepted Christ or not; he certainly had the ample information to do so.

Sometimes I think I'm ok, and it doesn't effect me anymore, but today was the first time I thought about it and I started to cry again... I miss him more than anything right now... more than my two aunts that died, more than my grandma, and my other grandpa that died... I don't mean to sound mean and that I don't miss them... but he was the closest to me out of all of the people in my family that died. A few kids at my old highschool died in my grade 11 and 12 year, but it never hits you as much as losing the Papa who practically helped raise you for some of your life...

sorry, now I got all emtional again, I hate it when I do that...