Who do you go to with issues?

[Evening Mist]

I think good friends know how to play the role of "sounding board" without necessarily condemning or thinking badly of our spouses. You need to maintain the intimacy in your existing friendships. Its important -- important to keep a support circle around you. Husbands are great -- but they can't be everything to us. No one person can be "everything" to us.

 

[momluvsjesus]

I agree with the others...

With this warning.... Make sure that those you talk to are mature chirstians. Everyone has problems - anyone who says they do not have any marital probalems and or never have are lying to you - and a mature Christian should recognize that and be able to seperate your existing problem from your husband - and not have it influence their thinking of him.

Amen to what YouthPastor said! I have been with my husband for 13 years..married for almost 3 and I have been going through this "who do I talk to" issue for quite some time. I finally realized that the best thing to do is go to God with it first and then ask God who (if anyone) can I talk to about what's going on. I know that there are very few things I can discuss with my mom but yet, I have a strong Christian sis-in-law who I can talk to about lots of things. It may even help to join a Christian women's group in your community or on the internet, so that you can be discrete.

 

[charligirl]

Lots of good advice... for when a situation arises

I agree, single friends and friends of opposite sex are bad choices and I wouldn't go to them anyway... after God, my Mother and my pastors wife are the best choices I think, both never seem to hold a grudge or try and influence me on decisions, they just offer Godly unbias advice, based on a combination of 56 years of marriage!!

 

[pmarquette]

I am recently married and find that now my fiance is my husband I feel that if I had any issues I wouldn't know who to talk to about it (apart from God) without feeling like I am betraying him.

Before we were married I could talk to my female married friends or my Mother but now I feel that to talk about our marriage would be a betrayal.

What do others think?

1. submission is doing what we do not like , agree with , or understand ;
both members , need to learn to submit to each other , as each of you submitted to parents , teachers , & friends .... variation on a theme

2. communicate .... talk about everything with husband .... usually after you fool around , he is at his most " receptive " frame of mind , you have just given him the greatest gift ....

3. wives sound out mom's --- did dad ever do "..... " , when you did "..... "?
husbands sound out father's " did mom ever ....." ; when you did "..... "
[ they do not have all that gray hair for nothing ... ]

4. if they say no , disagree , go over their heads ^^^ way over ... talk
to the " godfather ".... although , some times , what he responds with might ask you to grow , change , or be still ; while at other times , hubbie might walk in and anounce " you know , you're right ...... "

5. be flexible enough in all things : finances , home , work , chores , errands , holidays , etc. that you do not get bent out of shape...

work like it depends on you , pray like it depends on God , you'll make it ...

 

[EdmundBlackadderTheThird]

Another good point is that true compromise is not the place both of you are necessarily happy it can sometimes be the place where you are equally as miserable. It sounds harsh but it is true fairness.

 

[JMRE5150]

I guess I'm still confused as to why you couldn't go to your husband about 'issues'...

I don't want to sound rude, or sound like I'm being sarcastic BECAUSE IM NOT TRYING TO, but isn't that the purpose of the convenant of marriage? To be able to go to your spouse with issues you have? Even if those issues are with him/her?
Sometimes when you sit down and talk about problems, issues or concerns you can truly grow closer. Don't we all want to be closer to our spouse? Well, using them as your best friend who listens is THE BEST WAY to do just that.

Hey, I know that sounds easier than it is...and it ain't. But trust me, how do you think your spouse would feel if they found out you'd rely on someone else in your times of need? CRUSHED. Wouldn't you be too? You may not think so, but even husbands want to be your everything. They want to be THE person you go to with your problems. Even when it is them.
Now, if your spouse isn't a practicing Christian, you may have a problem. Is he a practicing/devout Christian?

 

[charligirl]

Hey, I know that sounds easier than it is...and it ain't. But trust me, how do you think your spouse would feel if they found out you'd rely on someone else in your times of need? CRUSHED. Wouldn't you be too? You may not think so, but even husbands want to be your everything. They want to be THE person you go to with your problems. Even when it is them.
Now, if your spouse isn't a practicing Christian, you may have a problem. Is he a practicing/devout Christian?

I am not talking about relying on someone else in a time of need, what I had in mind when I started this thread is advice on how to be a godly wife in certain situations... this is all new to me and I might have a situation where I am hurt or angry and need to know if I overreacted, or how to behave for the best... but to find that out you enevitably have to share some of the detail.