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Who Comes First?

Toro

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Spouse, kids are to grow up and leave the nest.

That doesn't mean third place has to be far from second.

God first
Spouse second
Children third

Anything else leaves room for resentment once the children are gone (if not sooner) and all the devil needs is a foot in the door, the tiniest whisper of "what about you"

Not only that, but how are you to be United as one... yet divided when it comes to your child?

The bible even states how important the union of marriage is.... Matthew 19:6 What God has joined let no man seperate... not even child.
 
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.Mikha'el.

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Who comes first? Your spouse or your kids?

Good luck.

Kids. Last I checked, "K" words are listed before "S" ones in the dictionary. :sorry:
 
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Noxot

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loving the wife is loving the children and loving the children is loving the wife.

it does not seem rational to put two different kinds of loves up against each other and say that one is better than the other, especially because they are both souls that God loves. so in that sense there should be an equality.

I don't know exactly when two lovers start sinning due to them loving each other or what kind of neglect this can cause towards others unless it was a neglect of some kind of important task such as raising your children properly. or if you two loving each other resulted in you being evil to others (bonnie and clyde).

but still, you might prefer to have less friends in favor of focusing on other relationships more and I don't see how that can be evil but it might imply that you put X kind of love over Y other kind of love.

but it seems wrong to hate one soul in order to show more love towards your favored soul. if there are many gems, can i love one gem more than others? I think I can, but I might be corrupted, I can't tell. it would seem that specific human relationships complement the kind of wide agape love that God has.

if I loved my wife more than my children I can always say that my children should rather find themselves a wife/husband. so there is no real loss, everything must simply be in it's proper order.
 
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blackribbon

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In a perfect Christian marriage, putting the spouse first benefits the kids because they both love and value the children with all their heart. In this kind of situation, both parents would want to feed the kids before themselves or similar situation.

In a real world situation, sometimes the kids must be protected from a spouse (alcoholic, abusive, overly dominant, etc). As a parent, it is our job to protect our children...sometimes even from family. In a real world situation, sometimes the kids come first because they were there first and came as a "set with one parent" in the situation of a broken home or a death of one parent. In this case, the new spouse married the children when he/she married a person with children. The new spouse may not get to be first all the time until the children grow up .

In the case of adult children, the spouse is always first.
 
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blackribbon

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In marriage there are plenty of opportunities to show who comes first.

What if your spouse asks you not to go to work today? If you need the money you would make that day to pay the rent (or mortgage), how do you show "who comes first"? Do you stay home as your spouse asks OR do you go to work to make sure your spouse continues to have a roof over his/her head?

This question isn't as simple or straight forward as it seems.
 
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