So basically, I really like my co-leader from church because she's a really godly woman. But I didn't want to do anything about it because I didn't want to affect the ministry we are serving together in and I didn't want it to affect our relationship either. I prayed constantly to God to trust Him and to let him decides what happens.
But it got to the point where, my mind said let's just move on but my heart was just be pounding and thinking about her day and night. I would wake up at 6:30-7aam in the morning and just hear my heart thumping. I've never felt like this before.
It plagued me so much that I bit the bullet last night and before dropping her home I said to her, "I have an awkward question to ask, 'what are your 'thoughts on relationships/dating'?".
Basically she went "arghhh...it's coz we're both single and we've been hanging out a lot together....I don't think we get along well.....coz a lot of times I don't understand what you think and you don't understand what I think"
I just said okay, and told her how I didn't want things to be awkward and affect ministry. The conversation kind of drizzled out and she went home.
And I honestly do want to keep my focus on serving in ministry, continuing my university degree. Obviously, I'm going to trust God whatever happens.
But I don't know where I should go from here?
Am I being desperate in hoping her view of us will change?
I think I'm genuinely attracted to her godliness (up until the end of last year, she ran her own bible study at the local library for high school kids who don't go to church, 2 years ago she started up her own summer ministry to help high school kids transition into university Christian groups, she meets up with people from high school whom she hardly sees to try invite them to church and share the gospel, the list goes on). She essentially reminds me of the woman in Proverbs31 -- the beauty of a woman who fears the Lord.
But it got to the point where, my mind said let's just move on but my heart was just be pounding and thinking about her day and night. I would wake up at 6:30-7aam in the morning and just hear my heart thumping. I've never felt like this before.
It plagued me so much that I bit the bullet last night and before dropping her home I said to her, "I have an awkward question to ask, 'what are your 'thoughts on relationships/dating'?".
Basically she went "arghhh...it's coz we're both single and we've been hanging out a lot together....I don't think we get along well.....coz a lot of times I don't understand what you think and you don't understand what I think"
I just said okay, and told her how I didn't want things to be awkward and affect ministry. The conversation kind of drizzled out and she went home.
And I honestly do want to keep my focus on serving in ministry, continuing my university degree. Obviously, I'm going to trust God whatever happens.
But I don't know where I should go from here?
Am I being desperate in hoping her view of us will change?
I think I'm genuinely attracted to her godliness (up until the end of last year, she ran her own bible study at the local library for high school kids who don't go to church, 2 years ago she started up her own summer ministry to help high school kids transition into university Christian groups, she meets up with people from high school whom she hardly sees to try invite them to church and share the gospel, the list goes on). She essentially reminds me of the woman in Proverbs31 -- the beauty of a woman who fears the Lord.
