Where to church?

[ByTheSpirit]

Not sure what forum this goes in. Just curious, I've been attending a church for a while now and play in the worship band. But I've started to realize I have a couple of disagreements on theology with some things that are rather important to me. I found a different fellowship that more closely aligns to my theological views. My question is if it were you, would you stay in the church that you are already serving in but may not agree with on some theology, or would you go to a gathering that has similar beliefs as you?

I have prayed about this for quite some time, but I have not felt any specific leading in any way.

 

[ViaCrucis]

Not sure what forum this goes in. Just curious, I've been attending a church for a while now and play in the worship band. But I've started to realize I have a couple of disagreements on theology with some things that are rather important to me. I found a different fellowship that more closely aligns to my theological views. My question is if it were you, would you stay in the church that you are already serving in but may not agree with on some theology, or would you go to a gathering that has similar beliefs as you?

I have prayed about this for quite some time, but I have not felt any specific leading in any way.

When I stopped attending the church I grew up in (my last year of high school), it grew out of several things:

1) My own changing views and growing disagreements.

2) Life circumstances, while my dad had moved to the other side of the state because of work with the goal of moving the rest of the family once there was enough money to get a place we could all live, my mom's cancer progressed and she ended up passing away, and my younger brother soon moved down to live with my dad I stayed to try to finish school. So suddenly, I couldn't attend church with family, and I didn't have a car and the church was located about a 20 minute drive out of town.

3) The dynamics of the church had been changing, we had gotten a new pastor several years earlier, and other positions of leadership began being taken up by new people as older members (not older as in age, but as in who had been members longer) began leaving. So the demographics of the congregation became such that I just didn't recognize most of the faces anymore on Sunday morning--many congregants had left the church to find a home elsewhere. I couldn't tell you their reasons, as I'm not sure. There may have been more things happening behind the scenes than what I was aware of, but for me I just slowly felt like, without my family, without the familiar people, and things generally feeling different--I didn't feel like it was my church anymore anyway.

I started visiting some friends churches. But I never intended to become a permanent fixture, I just wanted to go to church but didn't know where to go. This became harder as I started doing deep dives into theology and Scripture and trying to figure Christianity out. I tried to stay in my hometown a little bit after high school, but after losing my job and losing the place I was living, I ended up moving down to where my dad lived. Tried to find a church to attend there too. Visited a lot of churches.

I've often called this period my "wilderness". As I felt like I was wandering without a church home. I wanted a church, but didn't know where I should go. I was still trying to figure out what I believed.

Eventually, and I believe by the grace of God, I finally ended up home in Lutheranism. But for about 10 years I was wandering. I wasn't away from Christianity, I just didn't have a place to call home because I didn't know where to be.

While I don't recommend being without a church home, I don't regret that period of wandering. I think it was an important time in my life for me to figure things out, to go through the tough processes of deconstructing and reconstructing my own religious views. Early on things were wonky, but God kept me afloat.

This was my experience. It's not meant to be a "you should do this too", but just sharing my own story. What I want people to get from this is that we have a good and faithful God who provides for us. Even if we find ourselves in the wilderness. He will bring us home.

-CryptoLutheran

 

[ByTheSpirit]

When I stopped attending the church I grew up in (my last year of high school), it grew out of several things:

1) My own changing views and growing disagreements.

2) Life circumstances, while my dad had moved to the other side of the state because of work with the goal of moving the rest of the family once there was enough money to get a place we could all live, my mom's cancer progressed and she ended up passing away, and my younger brother soon moved down to live with my dad I stayed to try to finish school. So suddenly, I couldn't attend church with family, and I didn't have a car and the church was located about a 20 minute drive out of town.

3) The dynamics of the church had been changing, we had gotten a new pastor several years earlier, and other positions of leadership began being taken up by new people as older members (not older as in age, but as in who had been members longer) began leaving. So the demographics of the congregation became such that I just didn't recognize most of the faces anymore on Sunday morning--many congregants had left the church to find a home elsewhere. I couldn't tell you their reasons, as I'm not sure. There may have been more things happening behind the scenes than what I was aware of, but for me I just slowly felt like, without my family, without the familiar people, and things generally feeling different--I didn't feel like it was my church anymore anyway.

I started visiting some friends churches. But I never intended to become a permanent fixture, I just wanted to go to church but didn't know where to go. This became harder as I started doing deep dives into theology and Scripture and trying to figure Christianity out. I tried to stay in my hometown a little bit after high school, but after losing my job and losing the place I was living, I ended up moving down to where my dad lived. Tried to find a church to attend there too. Visited a lot of churches.

I've often called this period my "wilderness". As I felt like I was wandering without a church home. I wanted a church, but didn't know where I should go. I was still trying to figure out what I believed.

Eventually, and I believe by the grace of God, I finally ended up home in Lutheranism. But for about 10 years I was wandering. I wasn't away from Christianity, I just didn't have a place to call home because I didn't know where to be.

While I don't recommend being without a church home, I don't regret that period of wandering. I think it was an important time in my life for me to figure things out, to go through the tough processes of deconstructing and reconstructing my own religious views. Early on things were wonky, but God kept me afloat.

This was my experience. It's not meant to be a "you should do this too", but just sharing my own story. What I want people to get from this is that we have a good and faithful God who provides for us. Even if we find ourselves in the wilderness. He will bring us home.

-CryptoLutheran

Thank you for sharing.

To be clear, I'm not going to leave church for good. I am merely wondering if leaving my current church that has different theological views than my own is advisable so I can attend a separate fellowship. Or since I'm part of the ministry team as a worship musician, if I should stay?

 

[chevyontheriver]

Not sure what forum this goes in.

This could have gone into 'Looking for a church' I suppose.

Just curious, I've been attending a church for a while now and play in the worship band. But I've started to realize I have a couple of disagreements on theology with some things that are rather important to me. I found a different fellowship that more closely aligns to my theological views. My question is if it were you, would you stay in the church that you are already serving in but may not agree with on some theology, or would you go to a gathering that has similar beliefs as you?

How sure are you that you are actually correct and they are actually wrong? They might be correct and you might be wrong. It happens. Sometimes it happens that we are led to places specifically so we are corrected. In this way a disagreement results in us being corrected and growing in faith.

I have prayed about this for quite some time, but I have not felt any specific leading in any way.

My opinion has long been not to find a place you agree with but find a place you are led to. Certain standards have to apply or we could find ourselves 'led' by our own emotions into a cult or a heresy. We have to test everything. That includes our emoting selves. That includes our own theologies. We aren't always right.

So when my wife and I moved three years ago we had some choosing to do. We knew it would be Catholic but beyond that there were still lots of choices. We ended up at a place where the pastor was a bit loud, where the music was so-so, but where the confession lines could be long. We both felt led to be there. And the new music director has improved the music, and we found out the laity are actually a praying bunch with a big ministry to the sick and dying. Despite Covid we have finally fit in and are beginning to realize opportunities to serve.

I hope this helps. Particularly about being led by the Spirit rather than merely seeking agreement with your previously established opinions on theology.

 

[tturt]

Think we should only go where the Lord leads, too.

 

[ByTheSpirit]

This could have gone into 'Looking for a church' I suppose.

I didn't look hard enough I guess but I didn't know such a forum existed here. But I already know what church I am going to. Either way thank you

 

[ByTheSpirit]

Think we should only go where the Lord leads, too.

Of course, I guess I just wonder if I'm making a bigger deal out of my differences than I should. But I think I have my answer already. Thank you for your feedback

 

[tturt]

Sorry I didn't finish posting #5. Know to select a church some consider convenience, type of service, the pastor, etc

Had looked at some Scriptures and thought about your situation.

Seems that you've been praying about this for some time. It is difficult when we're waiting. Glad that you have your answer.

 

[Aaron112]

Of course, I guess I just wonder if I'm making a bigger deal out of my differences than I should.

Reminds be of the illustration of a railroad track that is off by only one-fourth inch in a mile,
then just a little more each mile,
until somewhere down the road it misses the mark entirely - doesn't even get to the city it was supposed to be going to.

Also - "unless two be agreed, they cannot walk together" , .....

 

[ari.sketch]

my advise you've already done, and still doing? and that is taking it to prayer

no specific leading in any way could be that God is leaving the choice to you, or you may need more prayer time (and introspection? what's your motive/reason), or you've already made up your mind?

these theological disagreements ... are they really that groundbreaking? has it, or will it prevent you from loving and serving God?

you've found a different fellowship that is more aligned to your theological view ... but how long until you find more differences or disagreements in that group, or perhaps you'll find a different fellowship that is more, more aligned to your view, and you'll be asking the same question again?

now, this is a very, very general statement, it does not apply to everyone, and I say this without knowing all the details of your situation,
my concern with people changing churches because of something minor, is that they may missed a lesson/blessing God wanted them to learn/have.

I believe in growing where God has planted you, and I certainly don't want you to miss any blessing God has in store for you ... though, the blessings may have to come through an uncomfortable situation where you will be stretched.

and no, I'm not telling you to stay, either ... because I don't know the whole picture, but you are already praying over this and that is good, I'll just support you in prayer as well, that God will grant you the wisdom and discernment in your decision.

 

[Fantine]

I look for a loving church community that supports my relationship with God and strives to be his hands and feet on earth.
In every denomination, there are some leaders who are more heavy handed and micromanaging than others. I tend to avoid them and find a more loving and welcoming community in the denomination of my birth.

 

[okay]

This is a decision only you can make.

Given how God is infinite and we are so very limited and broken, I think it is guaranteed that all of us have incorrect theology. Thanks be to God that He redeems us anyway! So to me 100% agreement with theology is not so important unless there is some theology that results in some harm or would limit my witness.

Our family has changed churches a couple of times. But I think our current church is a keeper. It openly embraces the fact that there will be a diversity of beliefs on theological and social issues. The goal is to love God and our neighbors, and (as Paul teaches ) to follow our own conscience without judging our siblings who are doing the same even when it looks different. We respect and love those with different opinions, and try to be curious since we can usually learn from each other. So as my faith evolves (as everyone’s does), it is a place that I can easily stay and be in community with fellow followers of Christ. I love that I can have truly honest conversations about my faith journey without worrying how a particular theological belief (or biblical interpretation or doubt or …) will be judged - and also without feeling patronized since there is no pressure to pretend we agree. But is the church perfect? Nope! If I were in charge would I change some policies? Yep! Still a keeper.

 

[RileyG]

Go to a Church that fits your theology.

Blessings

 

[chevyontheriver]

Go to a Church that fits your theology.

That works for people who have good theology. But we don't all have that. Some of us need to go to places where we learn theology rather than have our bad theology affirmed.

 

[Markie Boy]

I too am without a home, but growing closer to God daily. I would like one, but have not found it yet.

I have done the theology deep dive, and I think you'll find all churches have some theology error. I like the ones that admit it, and say they are humbly trying.

A loving and caring community is huge. Next - we are all working on some theology - but morality should have clear teaching. You are born a certain gender, marriage is between a man and a woman, abortion is never OK, and these should be taught clearly.

At this point for me Lutheranism has the closest theology - but the one I tried has a super old and shrinking congregation, and it was neither welcoming or joyful. The pastor was great - but the community - can't do it. Praying that he will lead me where I am supposed to be.