Where IS God??

[Samantha2015]

I have a question because I don't understand, I don't understand, I do not understand God. I don't and here's why. I live with my mom and we live in Maryland and while I'm a new christian, my mother is truly a fire baptized, speaks in utterance, hot blooded christian and believer but despite her being that, we've been going through numerous trials after trials after trials and tribulations after tribulations after tribulations. We can't seem to find a job, we can't seem to find a stable place to live where we can remain there for years. Now we're living in a small rooming house where everyone in the house are sinners and when I say sinners, I mean, one has a demonic personality where he has multiple alter egos/demons residing in him, the other one does drugs and is living in fornication and the other one works with the landlord in selling and distributing drugs undercover. And the landlord only cares about money.

And all four of these people have made our lives in this rooming house a living hell, they're true enemies to us and living there has just been terrible with housing violations that the landlord doesn't care to fix, with one of the tenants drug smoking that caused my mom (who has Asthma and COPD) to end up sick - and we told the landlord this and the landlord refuses to get rid of this drug usuing tenant - because sin/evil sticks with sin/evil - and the landlord uses drugs too and so we asked God to help us to move, move to a place where we can have peace and where we can be better christians than we are now. We made a vow to God that if he got us out of this place, we would be better christians because we truly would have peace and so we searched and searched and found this MUCH better place in a MUCH better neighborhood and we love it and love the landlord but since we don't have a job yet, we've been calling around to different churches trying to get help from them so we can get the funds to move into this new place. And we've been praying to God to ask and beg God to help us get the funds to get out of here. Well, we were able to get the first month's rent for the place but we're having a hard time trying to get the money for the securiy desposit for this place, let alone the money to get movers to help us get our stuff out of the place we're in. So we've been praying and praying for God to deliver us somehow, perform a miracle, help us, HELP US and yet for all our praying and asking and having the constant faith that God will deliver us and will help us - we have heard nothing - NOTHING but silence from him.

We've heard unanswered prayers - that's it and I got so mad and so angry about it today that I did say a blasphemous "GD" out of anger but immediately felt guilty and apologized for it mentally. My mom got mad with me about it but then later stated she understood how I felt but, I was just SO angry because I feel like - for the last past two weeks, since I decided to start getting serious about being a christian, I've been doing just that, I got rid of my worldy music, my worldy films, I have prayed every day, I started listening to sermons and gospel songs and have really tried to be the best christian I could while living in a terrible place like this - and I made a vow to God (and so did my mom) that once we got into our new place, we would be even BETTER christians - so we've been doing ALL of this, especially me - I have been doing all this - not so God can bless us but because - well the thought of going to hell and the thought of being left behind or that the great tribulation might soon come - scared me into getting serious with God - anyway, despite doing all of this - ALL our prayers seem to be going unheard, it's as if God has turned a deaf ear on us or like he's not listening OR like we're praying to air. And I just DO NOT get it, I don't. I'm seriously thinking I'm ready to give up on being a christian and am ready to go back to being the way I was but then apart of me wants to hold on because I keep thinking, these problems are all of the devil and the devil is doing this so we - I CAN let go of God and forget God.

And furthermore, since the time we began having problems with these tenants in the rooming house and the landlord, we constantly ask God to do vengance upon them, we even say "God you said vengenace is mine saith the lord, so we ask you to do vengance upon these four enemies of ours who are being mean and cruel to us. Because you said touch not my anointed and do them no harm." Well despite us constantly asking God this - NOTHING bad has happened to these four enemies, no venegance has come upon them - oh except one of them (the one who says he has alter egos/demons in him) claims their car was stolen but we believe he's lying because he's a pathological liar and we have caught him in many lies - but not one of them have had anything bad happen to them, in fact they're still getting blessed with money, they have their cars and they're enjoying life - meanwhile US - the ones whom they have done wrong to, we're suffering like hell. Some nights we go to bed hungry, some nights, I cry out of depression for the poverty we're living in. WHY? And I know the bible says "fret not thyself over evil doers who prosperth in their way" but still, you can't help BUT to fret when you see your ENEMIES being and getting blessed 24/7 and when you ask God to enact vengenace upon your enemies - God doesn't do THAT but what he does do is allow Satan to continue to let them have blessings after blessings after blessings?

Furthermore, we have never truly enjoyed true happiness - my mom and I - NEVER. My mom's dream was always to have her own home, she's 64 and it looks like she's nowhere NEAR reaching that dream, I have dreams that I was sure by the age I am now - 30, God would allow me to have - they haven't happened, despite my prayers and requests to God - so what? Are we to just live a life of poverty, broken dreams, unhappiness and despair and then ONLY when we die and go to heaven, can we have the good life we SO much wanted here on Earth? How is that FAIR? When other so-called "christians" and even sinners are living their best life now but WE are suffering immensely and we're doing our extreme best to follow God's will, way and word....

I just - someone give me some answers on this because I'm confused and I truly believe God either - doesn't like us or hates us and that's why he's not answering our prayers and requests or God doesn't give a crap about us and that's why he's ignoring us or - maybe, just maybe - DOES he exist?? I don't know but....It makes me wonder whether I still want to continue with this christian walk or not because I'm tired and fed up of praying to someone and the prayers are not working AT ALL.

 

[AGTG]

First and foremost, remember God's loving-kindness towards you and your mother. It is not His will that you would endure such afflictions and trials, but He can make them for good. Even so, these things can be powerfully transformative in our lives. Truly, they must be, or we would simply perish with despair. Please be comforted in knowing God feels your pain and wants to deliver you from your afflictions. I need to give you a couple pieces of practical advice, please take it seriously.

1) Try to readjust your attitude towards what's happening. Come against these things in the opposite spirit than that of the world. The world gets angry, points fingers, retaliates. Though it can be hard not to respond in such a way, it's surely an indication our souls (our personalities) are still behaving as the world does, and that just plays into Satan's schemes. The devil likes to draw us into negativity and get us focusing on our pains and our circumstances.

But our focus must be on Jesus! That's where our only solution is! That's where our hope is! He's the only way, and He's always faithful! Trust Him to deliver and empower you no matter what your circumstances look like.

2) Proverbs teach us that death and life are in the tongue. It also teaches that those who love the tongue (those who love to talk) will eat of it's fruit. This is one of God's principles that He does not bend nor break.

My wife and I have had very clear seasons of speaking "death" over our situations and circumstances. One time, when my wife was working these awful shifts that were taking a toll on her, we prayed regularly for God to move on her behalf. For months we came together to pray, but outside of those requests our tongues were wagging against those prayers. My wife would always rationalizing why her shift won't change. And guess what? It didn't change. For 5 months this went on!

Oh, the Lord revealed this to me and I finally had to sit my wife down and call her out. Really, I had begun to talk all this death to these prayer requests. It was clear what we had to do: We had to confess the sin of unbelief and turn from speaking against what we'd already asked and gave God permission to move on in our lives.

My wife was indignant at first. It was so ridiculous in her mind, but I tell you when she got her shift within a day or two of confessing and repenting she realized how powerful what we say can be.

We can't give lip-service to God in prayer, and then speak against what He's more than able to do. That's not speaking from faith.

Consider the angel sent to John the Baptist's father when he was told he would have a child at his old age:

Luke 1
18 And Zechariah said to the angel, “How shall I know this? For I am an old man, and my wife is advanced in years.” 19 And the angel answered him, “I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I was sent to speak to you and to bring you this good news. 20 And behold, you will be silent and unable to speak until the day that these things take place, because you did not believe my words, which will be fulfilled in their time.”

Immediately, Zechariah started talking death to the promise God was bringing forth through this angel. This promise was so important to God's plan, that the angel was given authority to "button up" Zechariah's lips so he would not be able to say another faithless word against this promise.

Now I'm not a hard-line "word of faith" guy. I'm all about my relationship with my Father. And my Father is awesome! He loves us so much! He is strong to deliver, provide, and protect. And He loves you as much as He loves me.

When we entertain faithless words to come forth when it comes to what He can do in our lives, we dishonor Him. And we end up walking on the wrong side of that principle in proverbs about speaking life or death.

Allow me to notice something else, you repented "mentally" when you knew you did something wrong. My friend, the devil has you speaking the wrong things, and staying mute on the right things!

Feel free to shout your apology to God. Confess your sins out loud, declare His saving blood with joy, knowing His promises are all true. The things that should remain "mental" are the things that aren't rooted in faith. And when those things come to mind, take them captive! They don't belong in your mind because your Father is mighty!

I don't say these things to beat you up. God sent me here to encourage you with this simple teaching. Try an experiment for the next 6 weeks. Stifle negative, faithless words and begin declaring the praises of God. Start telling your mother the truth. Tell her, "God is going to deliver us from this pit of iniquity!" Say it every day, repeat it every night. Declare it in faith, and if you ever feel like it isn't true, confess the unbelief as sin and ask God to help your unbelief.

I tell you, God is going to deliver you from this place. He will get you situated financially, and He will get you plugged into a healthy body of believers where you can grow in the faith. You can trust God and every promise He has made in that Bible.

That should give you some incentive to get into the Word and find those promises to declare them over your own lives and call upon your Father in heaven in Jesus' mighty name!

Then, you will see the power of God and the power of prayer. I can promise you this with complete faith, because He promises it in His Word.

 

[1watchman]

Samantha, it sounds like a family that is trying to just follow some Bible teachings, without careful study of "all the counsel of God"; or knowing the Lord Jesus and worshipping Him??? Christianity is not about following a bunch of rules, but a godly relationship in peace and love with the Savior ---the Lord Jesus (note John 14).

There are certain kind of Christian gatherings that study the Bible together in love, worship Him in song, prayers, and thanksgiving with devotions ---not in emotional type of rituals. You might seek out such a happy fellowship and find peace and love in trusting the Lord. God will then bless you both.

 

[Pink Spider]

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PRAYING for You
and Your mother!​

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[orangeness365]

Remember that God loves you despite your circumstances, and that Jesus suffered in this life too.