i have a friend that is blaming others that people know about her abortion. but in reality, noone would have known if she and he never told right? i mean...it's common knowledge that people gossip in general. i understand that she felt as though she needed to tell someone for comfort and advice, but she is constantly mad at others. mad that she cant do things that others can, mad that she cant have the type of boyfriend, looks...etc. but just recently, i told her to stop blaming others and taking things into her own hands. she is in this stage where she makes excuses for herself, how she is so deprived...when we all should be praising God for the food we eat and the family we have. she's 19, so i dont feel the need to feed into her excuses, but i'm trying to let her see things from different perspectives, attack problems more maturely, or see that there is a world beyond her little bubble of problems. BUT WHERE DO YOU DRAW THE LINE OF BEING COMPASSIONATE AND BABYSITTING (letting things "fly by")...how would you handle this???? thank you all...!!!
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where do you draw the line?
- Thread starter livinginfaith328
- Start date
seangoh
Veteran
I would say take her to a professional counsellor coz it's a very helpful way for her. It will help bring her back to reality and get on with her life. Because when one focuses so much on others, one would neglect oneself.
If not a counsellor, then maybe you can help by being very patient with her. Go out with her and have one to one talks. Let her share what she feels and that's where your patience comes in. Then, it depends on how good you are at steering her back to the real world. Ask her challenging questions , questions that slowly allow her to see herself where she is-stuck in a fantasy land. You would require much wisdom to help her so claim the promise of James 1:5. Personally i would do what i just said. One thing to note about bringing other people into the picture. She will just tell her story over and over again and it won't help. She needs to tell her story, not only on a superficial level, but a deep level. That's why i say spend time one-on-one to talk it out. The problem wouldn't be solved over one meeting because she needs to talk it out until she really gets to what's deep inside her.
Boy i think i better stop now, i'm talking like a counsellor..haha. Those are just my thoughts, not professional advice.
If not a counsellor, then maybe you can help by being very patient with her. Go out with her and have one to one talks. Let her share what she feels and that's where your patience comes in. Then, it depends on how good you are at steering her back to the real world. Ask her challenging questions , questions that slowly allow her to see herself where she is-stuck in a fantasy land. You would require much wisdom to help her so claim the promise of James 1:5. Personally i would do what i just said. One thing to note about bringing other people into the picture. She will just tell her story over and over again and it won't help. She needs to tell her story, not only on a superficial level, but a deep level. That's why i say spend time one-on-one to talk it out. The problem wouldn't be solved over one meeting because she needs to talk it out until she really gets to what's deep inside her.
Boy i think i better stop now, i'm talking like a counsellor..haha. Those are just my thoughts, not professional advice.
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