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Where do I begin

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malinut

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So as the title of my post reads I am trying to figure out where to begin.
To give you all a little background. I am married to a beautiful wife and we have a son and a daughter (Ages seven and five). We are a loving traditional family. My wife stays at home with our children and we both hold strong beliefs and love of family.
My wife and I both grew up with Christian backgrounds, but neither of us ever went to church or really have much of an understanding of the bible. Since we have been married and especially after having kids we periodically talk about religion and about going to church someday, but we just don't know where to begin. Going to church is VERY foreign to both of us, yet very apealing.
We want to raise our children with good values and a stronger religious background than we were raised.
How do you begin learning about religion when you're a grown adult? How do you go about picking a good church? Will others be accepting and understanding of people like us that never went to church?
Maybe these questions seem ridiculous and if so, I am sorry.
Thank you.
 

ephraimanesti

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malinut said:
So as the title of my post reads I am trying to figure out where to begin.
To give you all a little background. I am married to a beautiful wife and we have a son and a daughter (Ages seven and five). We are a loving traditional family. My wife stays at home with our children and we both hold strong beliefs and love of family.
My wife and I both grew up with Christian backgrounds, but neither of us ever went to church or really have much of an understanding of the bible. Since we have been married and especially after having kids we periodically talk about religion and about going to church someday, but we just don't know where to begin. Going to church is VERY foreign to both of us, yet very apealing.
We want to raise our children with good values and a stronger religious background than we were raised.
How do you begin learning about religion when you're a grown adult? How do you go about picking a good church? Will others be accepting and understanding of people like us that never went to church?
Maybe these questions seem ridiculous and if so, I am sorry.
Thank you.

MY DEAR BROTHER,

You might begin with the idea that the basis of our relationship with God is Prayer. All the things you say that you lack at the moment in your Christian walk are readily available from God JUST FOR THE ASKING:
#1. i would think that perhaps your first step should be to find a stable, welcoming, Bible-believing Church. PRAY ABOUT THIS--ask God to lead you to the Church He wishes you to attend. The best way to discover His will for this is to Pray and then visit a different Church in your vicinity each Sunday until one clicks and you hear the little voice in your mind say "This is it." It is, of course, important that both you and your wife agree on this--if there is a serious disagreement, keep Praying and keep looking. Spiritual unity in your family is most important!
Most Churches have Adult Education Programs for adults like yourselves, who are getting serious about their Faith later in life and need to be taught the basics. You are one among many, as was i, so don't be hesitant about asking about Adult Education opportunities as you visit Churches--this is a big part of their ministry.
#2. READ THE BIBLE!!!!! Begin with the New Testament, which is the basis of our Christian Faith, starting with Matthew and ending with Revelations. Once you have a good understanding of the New Testament, you can go back to the Old Testament and read through it, learning about God's dealings with His Chosen People through the ages.
In addition to the Bible, you might want to read a few basic explanations of the Christian Faith to help you understand what the Bible is saying to you. My favorite, and one of the most famous, is "MERE CHRISTIANITY" by C.S. Lewis--he, of course, being one of the most respected Christian writers of the 20th Century. (By the way, if you haven't done so already, i heartily recommend that you go see C.S. Lewis' "THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA" which is an entertaining movie and yet also a excellent allegory of the Christian Faith. It will be helpful to you and your wife and your kids will love it.")
#3. PRAY/PRAY/PRAY/PRAY/PRAY/PRAY! Prayer is, and always will be, the foundation of your Christian walk. Institute a set time morning and even to Pray to our Lord for your needs--Spiritual and otherwise--and to praise and thank Him for meeting all your needs. No need to get fancy--just talk to Him as what He is--your Loving Heavenly Father. Perhaps start your Prayer Time with the Lord's Prayer according to the instructions for Prayer our Lord gives in Matthew 6:5-15.
Start out with 15 minutes in the morning when you get up and 15 minutes in the evening before bed. Praying as a family is a GREAT BLESSING!

Be aware, my dear Brother, that as you begin to seriously seek a relationship with God through His Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, that Satan will attack you in many different ways, seeking to discourage you and keep you from becoming a Christian. Sooooo . . . for those new in the faith, it often seems as if things get worse instead of better following their commitment to Christ. REALIZE THAT THIS IS NORMAL AND A SIGN THAT YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK! This phenominon is a major reason why it is so important to hook up with a Church quickly so that you can obtain support and feedback from your Brothers and Sisters in Christ and also guidance from a Spiritual Mentor such as your Pastor/Elder/Priest or whoever you place yourself under the Spiritual authority of.
Lastly, IT IS MOST IMPORTANT THAT YOU AND YOUR WIFE BE ONE BEFORE THE LORD. Communicate honestly and openly with each other regarding Spiritual matters--you both need to be one the same page, both for your relationship with each other which needs to be strong, but also for your children's growth into the Kingdom that they not become confused.
MAY THE LORD BLESS AND KEEP YOU ALL AS YOU SEEK HIS FACE. As He has promised, "ASK, AND IT WILL BE GIVEN YOU; SEEK, AND YOU WILL FIND; KNOCK, AND IT WILL BE OPENED TO YOU. FOR EVERY ONE WHO ASKS RECEIVES, AND HE WHO SEEKS FINDS, AND TO HIM WHO KNOCKS IT WILL BE OPENED."(Matthew 7:7,8)

MUCH LOVE IN CHIRST TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY,
ephraim
 
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issa

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it is not at all ridiculous dear brother....they are very good questions. i pray God will lead you to a church where you and your family will grow wonderfully. there really is no perfect church, so when you do decide on one. endeavor to stay there until God takes you to a different place far from the church.

it would be nice to know when you have found your church so we may rejoice with you, if not, then share with us the details of your search. and maybe we can be of more assistance :)
 
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millerrod

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Everyone has given great advice, i would just like to add one thing and that is not to dilly dally around about it,study, find a church home, study, study ,study. So many forget we are born into a battle of good and evil of God and the devil and the devil will NOT give up he will go after your Loved ones , your relationship, EVERYTHING you hold dear to you and he wont dilly dally about it, your only protection is Christ and your walk with God and the more you study the Bible the greater your walk the greater your protection, you would never allow someone to break into your house and attack your loved ones right? well the devil is at our door and he is out to destroy all who oppose him so you must protect against him and STAND IN THE WORD OF GOD and destroy him now. may God give you the strength to STAND
 
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CarolinaMom

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My Pastor sometimes makes the comment "God says there's a church out there for everybody, and even if it's not here, have faith and you will find it."
Do you have any friends or family who go to church? Any co-workers? Go for a visit. I'm not saying go "church hopping" or anything. Just visit a few and pick the one you like the best and stick with it. If it's not the church for your family, don't get discouraged. God will lead you to your church.
You may be wondering which Denomination to choose? Well I can't tell you that, in fact, I don't quite know the difference except one of them means the women can't cut their hair. I am Non-Denominational which means: I visited this church and I agree with what my Pastor says! At least that's my definition.
I used to think that if you live right, don't do drugs, try not to cuss, etc., that you'd be just fine. That's not the case. You NEED to hear God's Word. The more you hear, the more you'll understand. Believe me, I don't know hardly anything but I'm learning every day. Now I can't wait until Sunday and Wednesday! You get to the point that you CRAVE it. High on Jesus! WooHoo!!
Good luck on your search. I've said a prayer for you!
 
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WhyNot18

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I was in a simular situtation last year with the exception that my wife and I did not come from a Christian background but I was being drawn to God. The only Non Roman Catholic Christian I really new was my uncle who was a deacon at a small Baptist church where the average age was +55 and Roman Catholism did

Now there are plenty of things I could learn through fellowship with this congregation but it just wasn't going to be the right spot for my family. I wasn't comfortable talking with anyone I knew personally about finding a church.

So that's option number 1, referral. If you are like me thought and you've already asked on an Internet forum it sounds this may not be a great option.

I found a couple of churches I wanted to try through the Internet. Depending on the size of your metropolitan area (not rural) there will probally be more than a few local churches w/ web sites. Many of them have large amounts of information including audio/video of the services and post information of the small groups/bible study/ministry and fellowship oppurtunities available. Also there statement of faith should be posted.

That being said I spent probally way to much time researching to find the perfect church. I should have just made a commitment to park my butt in a pew on Sundays but I was overly concerned that my wife would be discourage if the worship was bad/boring and also that I would be discouraged.

We got lucky or I should now say blessed, we had 2 churches one was halfway between our house and the other. My wife and I are habitually late however on the Sunday we commited to go we were early in getting around so we drove to the one that was further away and I really liked it and my wife said it was okay and she would want to go back again. So we went for a couple of weeks and then we were running really late one morning and knew we couldn't make the 11:00 so we decieded to go to the other church. Make a long story short the message of the service was "Paving the Way" and it was the conclusion to their Capital Campaign and pledge cards were due to be turned in. Not exactly the best message for "Seekers" to hear. I know that it was important (the capital for the building) but the whole service made us both realize that we had found a church home and how blessed we were to be early for once that first time.
 
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bethdinsmore

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Great suggestions. Here are some more ideas:

You might want to visit the "Congregations" forum here, and see what various rooms say about any questions you have. Also, the "Sticky" section will often offer a list of their beliefs.

I'm adding the following, in case you want to see how we go through the process of finding a particular church to attend.
Personally, we look for a church that has certain beliefs. (Whether you agree with these beliefs or not, there might be some guidelines that would help you as you search).
I believe that, to be saved, one must simply make the decision to rely upon or trust in (believe) Christ as their personal sinbearer and as the One who will get them to Heaven one day without any good works or promises of their own. I don't even think prayer to God about this is necessary. That is because of various verses that say that belief is enough. (see my Signature verses for examples). I believe in eternal security as well. After salvation, I believe that the Christian life should be a life of striving toward purity, empowered and guided by the Holy Spirit. When we sin, we are to confess it and stop it. If we don’t, God will lovingly discipline and punish us. In addition, I find a church that believes in the Nicene Creed, which follows the cardinal doctrines of the faith.

Here's what my experience has been in finding a church that was a comfortable place to worship and fellowship at......We have moved around a lot with my husband's work, so we have found a lot of churches in our day. We haven't had much trouble in finding good churches. I just call around and ask the pastor of a conservative, evangelical church* what he believes about salvation and eternal security, and if they have home groups.

It also helps greatly if they are not legalistic - those churches tend to be critical of others. And we definitely avoid all liberal churches (that do not believe the bible is inspired by God and without error). I believe that no one church or denomination should claim to be the only one with all the right answers. An ethnically integrated church is a good sign too. And one that has enthusiastic young people.

And it helps if they have an emphasis on missions (showing a generous heart). I don't find much fellowship in any church unless there are small group to be involved in - just not enough time to get to know people otherwise. As far as worship, I can do that anywhere, but the type of music does help or hinder me.

So that's what we look for. When we move to a town, I pray and call around to the churches and talk to the pastors and ask them about the things I've mentioned here. Especially about what they believe about going to Heaven and about eternal security. That doesn't mean we'll find everything, but the absolute must is what they teach about salvation. And the almost-must is that they have home groups.

Here's what usually happens: I spend a couple of hours calling churches, and we wind up going to about 3 churches for about 3-4 months, until we pick one that the Lord seems to be leading us to. That's where we stay.
I'm praying He will lead you too. God bless you. Aloha in Jesus


* such as Southern Baptist, Conservative Baptist, Non-denominational (but conservative evangelical), or First Evangelical Free Church
 
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Silver Surfer

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malinut said:
So as the title of my post reads I am trying to figure out where to begin.
To give you all a little background. I am married to a beautiful wife and we have a son and a daughter (Ages seven and five). We are a loving traditional family. My wife stays at home with our children and we both hold strong beliefs and love of family.
My wife and I both grew up with Christian backgrounds, but neither of us ever went to church or really have much of an understanding of the bible. Since we have been married and especially after having kids we periodically talk about religion and about going to church someday, but we just don't know where to begin. Going to church is VERY foreign to both of us, yet very apealing.
We want to raise our children with good values and a stronger religious background than we were raised.
How do you begin learning about religion when you're a grown adult? How do you go about picking a good church? Will others be accepting and understanding of people like us that never went to church?
Maybe these questions seem ridiculous and if so, I am sorry.
Thank you.
I have a New Website, called "Institute of Biblical Knowledge"...which might provide some answers.
There are many different topics to choose from, and more will be added later, as time goes on.
www.iofbk.com
 
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malinut said:
So as the title of my post reads I am trying to figure out where to begin.
To give you all a little background. I am married to a beautiful wife and we have a son and a daughter (Ages seven and five). We are a loving traditional family. My wife stays at home with our children and we both hold strong beliefs and love of family.
My wife and I both grew up with Christian backgrounds, but neither of us ever went to church or really have much of an understanding of the bible. Since we have been married and especially after having kids we periodically talk about religion and about going to church someday, but we just don't know where to begin. Going to church is VERY foreign to both of us, yet very apealing.
We want to raise our children with good values and a stronger religious background than we were raised.
How do you begin learning about religion when you're a grown adult? How do you go about picking a good church? Will others be accepting and understanding of people like us that never went to church?
Maybe these questions seem ridiculous and if so, I am sorry.
Thank you.



I thing the best thing is to talk about with a Priest or a Pastor(except anglican pastor because he doesn't condamn divorce..^_^ ... ).
A good education for a common christian family surely is Ephesians ethic but it's not easy to follow......
However in order to obtain a good Salvation the conduct has to be followed by the love for God......


:crossrc: :crosseo:
 
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Guineverelyndy

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Lots of good advice here... I'd also recommend calling a few local churches and asking if they have an ALPHA program. It's designed to give you the basics of the Christian faith and meet people who attend that church. A non-intimidating, but very useful way to start out!
 
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