When you like a Christian, but...

[PinkLoveBall]

When you like a Christian but you don't know how to let them know that in the most respectful way... what do you do?

I'm going to become a member of a church pretty soon. In this church, there is a guy who is one of the lead singers of one of the church's groups. The way he loves Jesus has made me like him and realize that he (or someone like him) is what I want for a husband or boyfriend. I want to get to know him better, but this church is HUGE! I MEAN HUGE! If it were a smaller crowd, it'd be easier for me to get noticed by him or even approach him... but this church has over 500 members and on teen night (which is the night we both attend) there is about 75-80 youths average. He has a busy schedule and frankly I don't know his status or anything but his name, the sound of his beautiful voice and the love he's got for Jesus.

Would anyone here have any suggestions on how I should approach him or ways to get to know him? I've already spoken to him once - I actually had the courage to walk up to him, say hi, compliment him on the singing/writing/playing talent God gave him and exchanged a few smiles... but that was it. I highly doubt he remembers me now.

If I don't talk to him, how will I know if he is or isn't worth my time? It all seems as easy as walking up to him and starting up a convo, but that can be harder than you think... you guys know what I'm talking about, right?

Thanks for reading, hopefully I don't look like a dork right now. LOL

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

It all seems as easy as walking up to him and starting up a convo, but that can be harder than you think... you guys know what I'm talking about, right?

Is he involved in any other church groups or activities? I mean, putting yourself in the same general area as him would probably create more opportunities for conversations to just happen.

I'd say find out what he's into, and if it's something you're interested in, check it out.

 

[PinkLoveBall]

Well, it's hard to find out when I'm not in his "inner circle" - I have spoken to his sister more often than I have spoken to him, but don't get me wrong... I speak to her for the amazing person that she is, not because she's his sister. She also sings in the group and I am amazed at her vocal talent, so I probably would've approached her anyways regardless of who her brother is.

OK, let me stop being defensive lol

He is involved in the youth choir ministry... which is one I want to join... but you should see our youth choir, it's HUGE! I doubt we'd get on a personal level... AH I SHOULD STOP BEING NEGATIVE! Grr.

We have exchanged looks a lot and I often catch him looking at me (and more often he probably finds me staring at him with sparkles in my eyes) - but I want to talk. I'd love to invite him out to have coffee and discuss my favorite man: Mr. Jesus Christ!

Thanks so much for your suggestion iklepac!

 

[TriptychR]

If you were able to approach his sister in such a big crowd, it shouldn't be that much harder or that more suspicious-looking to approach him, no?

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

He is involved in the youth choir ministry... which is one I want to join... but you should see our youth choir, it's HUGE! I doubt we'd get on a personal level... AH I SHOULD STOP BEING NEGATIVE! Grr.

Yeah, DaveKerwin told me once that you can't put the handcuffs on God like that. He's in the business of miracles, and joining the group is creating an opportunity for God to work through. If God wants you two to talk, being pessimistic isn't going to help anybody. Don't be skurred and keep your head up and make an effort is all I'm saying.

 

[Living4Him03]

I know how you feel...the church I go to is huge too! It's hard to get to know people because the group is so big...you meet new people each week. However, we have smaller sunday school classes that meet and separate bible studies. Also, people usually get together and go out to eat after church. Maybe you could ask his sister if she and her brother and some other friends from church want to go have lunch after the service? The only way I've gotten to know people at my church is through the smaller sunday school classes and going out to eat after church. My best advice is to just get involved with different ministries you are interested and where you feel God is calling you. Make some friends and see where God leads. There was a guy in my sunday school class that missed a few sundays...he was a visitor also, so I thought he wasn't coming back or that he was going to the men's class. I was so disappointed because I really wanted the chance to get to know him. Well, the next sunday he was back in the co-ed class and I got to talk to him. You just never know! Don't be afraid to approach people and just start talking to them...you kinda have to do that in such a big church if you want to really get to know people.

 

[Sketcher]

Well, get to know him before you make long range plans of any sort. You have to look spiritual on that stage or else. He probably is a good man, but there are two-faced people even in the worship band from time to time. They're just as good or bad as the rest of us, and it must be a strain on them. But anyway . . .

You know his sister. Get to know her, and of course respect her.

 

[VivDaGurl]

You are attracted to him because you like the way he is and you see him as your "Mr. Jesus Christ" but have you wonder if he is the one God had prepared for you? Have you ever wonder whether is it God's Will for you to be with him? First of all, I would suggest you to pray and ask God to show you His direction and guide you in all things you do. Secondly, join in the activities that he's involved in (you can find out from his sister which activities he's into) but remember to pray to ask God to lead you. We may think that person is best for us but God knows better.

Should anything belongs to you, God will reveal/bring it to you in His own time. Surrender fully to God and let God work. It's just the same about this guy you are interested in...If he's the one God had prepared for you, one day, you'll be with him. Put your trust in the Lord.

 

[Inperfected]

1) guard you heart (as per proverbs)
2) Love god with all your heart
3) Try to get involved in his stuff
4) Go up to him and talk to him, maybe about the sermon at church or summin... When he's alone
Just be nice and don't stare...

 

[gizmo03]

When you like a Christian but you don't know how to let them know that in the most respectful way... what do you do?

I'm going to become a member of a church pretty soon. In this church, there is a guy who is one of the lead singers of one of the church's groups. The way he loves Jesus has made me like him and realize that he (or someone like him) is what I want for a husband or boyfriend. I want to get to know him better, but this church is HUGE! I MEAN HUGE! If it were a smaller crowd, it'd be easier for me to get noticed by him or even approach him... but this church has over 500 members and on teen night (which is the night we both attend) there is about 75-80 youths average. He has a busy schedule and frankly I don't know his status or anything but his name, the sound of his beautiful voice and the love he's got for Jesus.

Would anyone here have any suggestions on how I should approach him or ways to get to know him? I've already spoken to him once - I actually had the courage to walk up to him, say hi, compliment him on the singing/writing/playing talent God gave him and exchanged a few smiles... but that was it. I highly doubt he remembers me now.

If I don't talk to him, how will I know if he is or isn't worth my time? It all seems as easy as walking up to him and starting up a convo, but that can be harder than you think... you guys know what I'm talking about, right?

Thanks for reading, hopefully I don't look like a dork right now. LOL

I have had the same issue... I was at a church with the group I used to travel with, it was in upper Michigan. The piano player of the churchs Praise group got my attention right away, for one thing he could sing! Then he had the look thing going for him too. I didn't get a good chance talk to him, but that didn't stop the other people I was with.
He was one of the guys helping us pack things up and get the bus all loaded again, and they were all done and the Pastor had asked if there was anything we needed he could get for us... Well one of the guys took it upon himself to suggest bringing he piano player home with us because of the nanny(which was what I was) was in search of husband... It had been awhile since I had been that embarrassed.

 

[Nico]

if you're interested in the same groups as he is you should definately join; even if it is a bit large. NEVER close doors when they don't have to....you never know . hey, it's a plus that you're able to talk to his sister as well. like you said, you don't talk to her b/c your crush is her brother, but it doesn't hurt, either. i think you're setting yourself up well. keep doing things that allow for paths to cross. God wil work it out if He thinks its right. but yeah, don't automatically assume that a group is too large for him to notice you. besides, if that's your picture in the camera thing, then i'd be really surprised if he didn't remember you.

 

[PinkLoveBall]

Hey,

Here's an update! But before I go on, I want to say thanks to everyone who encouraged me with their words. All of the posts here are appreciated greatly

My friend and I decided to go see his group outside of church, during another ministering activity at which they were singing their songs. So, Friday, since we weren't certain what time this event was, I decided to wait for him after the youth service was over. I called out his name and we had a pretty brief conversation about their website, the time of the event and so on. He asked my name, we shook hands and I said I'd see him the next day at the event. That was that. And I was happy with that.

Then, Saturday at the event, we arrived an hour late. Typical of me and my friend (mayerpod, haha, I'm putting you on the spot girl). We rushed to the room where the performance was going on as we heard them singing almost the end of one of our favorite songs from their album. After that was over, they sang amazing grace and then got off stage. Me and my friend were bummed because they were the reason we had made the trip there in the first place. When they got off stage, I saw them go to the back of the room where there were tables with their CDs, so I suggested we go up to them and talk. I went up and greeted him with a hug.

He smiled and seemed to remember me. His sister and the other girl from the group said they were happy we made it. I told him we were bummed about just missing them, and he said they'd be up again and that he'd talk to us after the show.

Turns out they didn't go up again =( BOOOOOO. So after the whole thing was over, we went over to them again and the first thing he said to us was "I'm so sorry..." hehe.

I got to ask him the questions I wanted answers to. He's an amazing lyrical composer and he recently sang a song speaking of the Lord giving him a passion - and during this song, I had a vision, so I needed to know whether he wrote it or if he was doing a cover - the song was just beautiful. He told me he wrote it and it's going to be on their second CD. I complimented him on it. I had also written a review for their debut album and sent it to his sis via emails and was wondering if he read it. He smiled and said yes and thank you. He also asked me if I had visited his website and if I liked it (it was launched like 2-3 days ago) and of course I said yes. It really is awesome, you guys should check it out: www.dthmusic.com

My friend purchased their CD so we asked them to sign it for us. All three did. Twas nice. There was more stuff we said to each other in between everything, but it's not important.

So I guess now I got my name in and he knows my face. Let's see if I can atleast get a friendship out of this. I would be grateful for that!

 

[Living4Him03]

Who knows...reminds me of when I had a crush on the lead singer of a band at my high school called "bucket"...they played at deep ellum a few times (for those of you Dallas people who know what I'm talking about). They were pretty good. My friends and I would frequently attend their concerts. He knew who I was though because his mom and my mom taught school together. He really loves Jesus and is a great musician, but we never really got to know one another. Most of our conversations were about the band. Sort of had a deja vu moment reading your post. Just remember to take it easy and be his friend and enjoy being a band groupie (c'mon now admit it lol). I loved being a Bucket groupie...it was really fun!

 

[PinkLoveBall]

Haha, L4H! Yes, I'll admit. He told my friend to check out the website for their tour dates and she goes "OK, we'll be your groupies!" and he said "Okay!" - so we're approved by the artists. And wait, no... we're not groupies. We're band-aids! AAAAAHAA.

Most of the time these things are small crushes that fade into time along with whatever phase you're going through, yes... but to me, this isn't just a crush... it's more of a HUGE interest I have in meeting someone whom I look up to and actually maintaining a healthy friendship with them, and maybe even more than that if I were blessed by God that so be it.

And you know... it's not so much his looks. I'll admit, I think he's good looking, but the attraction is more torwards his character. The fact that he seems to be a very motivated and talented young man who is probably living out his dream right now all while serving God. I think that's awesome!

 

[Living4Him03]

Hehe yep. I was attracted to Adam's devotion to Christ above everything and everyone...and I did find him really cute as well. Musicians have a certain appeal I guess, especially if they're Christian Get to know him before you get too big of a crush on him, otherwise when you really do know him, you may either be disappointed that he doesn't match the ideal you had of him at first or you may just find that you aren't interested in him romantically. God bless!

 

[ChrisB803]

Haha, L4H! Yes, I'll admit. He told my friend to check out the website for their tour dates and she goes "OK, we'll be your groupies!" and he said "Okay!" - so we're approved by the artists. And wait, no... we're not groupies. We're band-aids! AAAAAHAA.

Most of the time these things are small crushes that fade into time along with whatever phase you're going through, yes... but to me, this isn't just a crush... it's more of a HUGE interest I have in meeting someone whom I look up to and actually maintaining a healthy friendship with them, and maybe even more than that if I were blessed by God that so be it.

And you know... it's not so much his looks. I'll admit, I think he's good looking, but the attraction is more torwards his character. The fact that he seems to be a very motivated and talented young man who is probably living out his dream right now all while serving God. I think that's awesome!

Better be careful, Angie, too much more of that type of 'outgoing activity' and you won't be able to keep coming to the single's page.


Good job, and God bless. Remember, go slow, be friends, and then see where that leads. The worst thing anyone can do in a possible relationship is to jump into it too fast.

 

[SmEaGoL!]

Hey Angie, nice name (same as my gf) Anyway, spending time together is a great way to get to know each other more and to reveal your feelings.

 

[invisiblebabe]

Make yourself go up to him.... you'll never know if you don't really try...

 

[Inperfected]

Be careful tho... You are likely to get so hurt, if you aren't careful... And realise that sometiems people show one side of them selves to everyone, and another to close friends.... and family.

 

[Mayerpod]

A shoutout! :-D!!! Cool! I need to start posting again! It'd be funny if Marcos came on CF.com and found this post. Hehe. Lots of DTH love!