When You Can't Stand Someone!

[superdave]

I have had the hardest time as of late, with one of my friends. He's become too arrogant, too worldly, and I don't know.... just not somebody I want to spend too much time with! He wants to listen to junky "profane" rap music, he talks about women in degrading ways, and he just makes me want to vomit. Me and His brother are seeming to get along better now than me and him.

Although, He makes me angry right now... I love the guy. I want the best for him. And I hate to see him like this. I want it to be like the old days- when we were serving the Lord, When we were playing music to worship, etc...etc...

So What can I do? I have talked with several people my concern with him- his authorities in life... and... I don't know how he's gonna' take it.

But I don't want us to do things if he's going to be off on the deep end...

anyway...that's it...

Dave.

 

[rach]

I guess I would just try to talk to him, but I know that might be really hard, and he probably won't listen. I would just continue letting him know that you care about him, and want what's best for him. This is really hard to do, but hopefully it will make a difference.

I have a friend who has started to make really bad choices as well. And when I email her, and mail her letters, she doesn't respond, but I know she is reading them. So hopefully one day they will change her, and she will realize how more important God is than college partying.

 

[A Brethren IN CHRIST]

let God deal with them and if you have opportunity then take it with kindness and say we are missing you

 

[A Brethren IN CHRIST]

tell the partier about romans 6:11-13

 

[A Brethren IN CHRIST]

if they care

 

[donnajoshua1:9]

Dave...Well I know excatly how you are feeling right now, I have friends like that too. I think everyone does. I will pray for your friend and I will pray for couarage for you and strength. That God will give you the words to speak into his life. As a brother in Christ I believe you should love them still and encourage him as well, just let your light shine on him. He will come around. I will be praying for you. Please keep in touch and let me know how he is doing.

God Bless
Donna
Joshua 1:9

 

[sonshnes]

Dave,

I've been in the same situation. The first person I met when I moved to school became my best friend and roommate. We went to church and FCA together...all was great. Then, she changed. She began partying, staying out all night, etc. I eventually worked up the courage to confront her. (Really hard for me to do...I HATE confrontations). She listened but didn't hear. Like you with your friend, I wanted the best for her, and it killed me to see what she was becoming. I ended up moving out, and I must say, it was the best thing for me. I didn't realize how miserable I was watching her self destruct. All I'm able to do now is just pray for her. She barely talks to me now, unfortunately. I've come to the point where I'm able to thank God for the good times that I had w/ her as my friend and to be thankful that I didn't end up down the same path.

If you do say something to him, at least he will know that you've noticed a change in him. Maybe he realizes that he's changed, but isn't sure how to get back to his "old self."

Good luck!

 

[Shimmerstar]

The best single word of advice i can give is:

Communicate.

And here, have some blessings to cheer you up

 

[VigoMedic]

The best single word of advice i can give is:

Communicate.

And here, have some blessings to cheer you up

I agree. Prayerful communication will get you everywhere.

I actually had a very similar situation. All of my friends noticed that my best friend's attitude had changed and he was becoming outright annoying; especially with how he treated women/girlfriends. No one would tell him that he was being obnoxious, they just griped about him more when he wasn't around. I finally got tired enough of everything and I started pointing his certain behaviors out to him. (When you do that, you must be careful not to sound demeaning or "holier than thou").

Once we started to communicate more, our friendship became stronger. Don't be afraid of the confrontation... if you are true friends, after time, he will appreciate it.

May Christ's peace be with you always.

 

[ps139]

Communication is they key. Tell him how you feel, from the heart. Also be sure to let him know exactly where you stand. Tell him what you do not do, and stick with it. I also have a similar problem with some of my friends, and I need to tell them exactly where I stand also.
Minds change slowly (usually), and good examples are very effective, even if they take a long time to produce fruit. The biggest tree was a small seed a few hundred years ago.