When to go on

[Autumnleaf]

Autumnleaf, there aren't many ppl who rub me the wrong way, but..... I have a few questions for you.

Should I follow the lead of my husband who wants to sleep with other women, and then sleep with me without even washing himself first? How about him wanting to watch me do things, that I don't want to do, with other women for his pleasure? He would also like to marry more women, while still married to me, and move them into my house.

Do you think women should just blindly follow the wishes of their husbands, no matter how outrageous and ungodly?

Should Jesus do what God tells him to if it means he will be hurt? Should he if it means he will be killed?

Should Abraham take his son Isaac up the mountain and kill him on the altar because God tells him to?

Should you follow your husband's lead? Maybe.

You should honor and obey him. That said, this leaves you all the influence you need to shape the direction of his will. If you get a chance pickup a copy of Robert Green's book The Art of Seduction. Recently women have been taught to act like men so they can have the luxury of paying taxes. This has come at great cost to many. A loss of power in their femininity. Trading a demure countenance for an assertive ones is like buying a knife and firing a big gun toting bodyguard. You choose to defend yourself instead of using persuasion to delegate your protection to someone more powerful and capable. Let your husband be your hero and he won't want to be with other women.

 

[Ashyah]

These were things that were done for God.

My husband is not God.

Autumnleaf you just don't get it.

 

[Autumnleaf]

These were things that were done for God.

My husband is not God.

Autumnleaf you just don't get it.

As Christians we believe the Bible is the word of God. The Bible says respect and obey your husband. Do you think God misspoke?

 

[kanga22]

Should Jesus do what God tells him to if it means he will be hurt? Should he if it means he will be killed?

Should Abraham take his son Isaac up the mountain and kill him on the altar because God tells him to?

Should you follow your husband's lead? Maybe.

You should honor and obey him. That said, this leaves you all the influence you need to shape the direction of his will. If you get a chance pickup a copy of Robert Green's book The Art of Seduction. Recently women have been taught to act like men so they can have the luxury of paying taxes. This has come at great cost to many. A loss of power in their femininity. Trading a demure countenance for an assertive ones is like buying a knife and firing a big gun toting bodyguard. You choose to defend yourself instead of using persuasion to delegate your protection to someone more powerful and capable. Let your husband be your hero and he won't want to be with other women.

Lost - you - so so lost. I pray you find yourself back on the path to God and not just a path in your male head.

My husband isn't following God. He is following his male brain, just like you seem to do, Autumnleaf. Dh doesn't even claim to be a Christian. He swears at God and puts me down for being a believer.

I was a stay-at-home mom for many years. We had a real old-fashioned marriage in that I completely took care of the children, cooked and cleaned, and had myself presentable and dinner ready upon his arrival home. Did that get me any respect from dh - no. He felt stressed and depressed because I wasn't bringing home a paycheck to help him with the bills. So I got a night job to help out and make childcare as simple for him as possible. He wasn't happy with that either. Then, he got laid-off and decided to be a couch potato for 10 months - so he could really whallow in his own self-pity and depression. Now he has a great job and has decided he can afford to play with other women. Did he, even once, try to do ANYTHING to work on our relationship and marriage? NO.

 

[Autumnleaf]

Lost - you - so so lost. I pray you find yourself back on the path to God and not just a path in your male head.

My husband isn't following God. He is following his male brain, just like you seem to do, Autumnleaf. Dh doesn't even claim to be a Christian. He swears at God and puts me down for being a believer.

I was a stay-at-home mom for many years. We had a real old-fashioned marriage in that I completely took care of the children, cooked and cleaned, and had myself presentable and dinner ready upon his arrival home. Did that get me any respect from dh - no. He felt stressed and depressed because I wasn't bringing home a paycheck to help him with the bills. So I got a night job to help out and make childcare as simple for him as possible. He wasn't happy with that either. Then, he got laid-off and decided to be a couch potato for 10 months - so he could really whallow in his own self-pity and depression. Now he has a great job and has decided he can afford to play with other women. Did he, even once, try to do ANYTHING to work on our relationship and marriage? NO.

Based on how you describe him I can't imagine why he'd want to "play with other women." He must be mad.

Even though he plays with other women and you don't seem to like him he's still your husband. If you mistreat him because he mistreats you you're both wrong. If you respect and obey him and he mistreats you then you are right and he is wrong. There is an all but lost Christian concept of doing the right thing even when it doesn't feel good. This is what I was trying to bring across with the Jesus and Abraham examples.

 

[hope4today]

Honestly ladies, Autumnleaf has shown on these forums that the husband can do whatever he wants and the wife must obey and stay. Nothing you say, and no matter how badly you have been treated, will change anything he says. Best not to worry about it too much or waste effort trying to get understanding.

 

[porterross]

Thank God the reformation showed us the truth of the Gospel in contrast to the RCC's man-made, no forgiveness, judgemental control. Christ's purpose is crystal clear and He has no vicar in Rome who speaks for Him. We are all His and our salvation is made apparent for us to know for ourselves in Scripture.

 

[Autumnleaf]

You can do whatever you want. That is not disputed. As Christians if we follow the Bible our choices are often made for us if we wish to follow God's ways. If you feel you can behave however you want since you feel God forgives you for everything, then you will do whatever you want anyways.

 

[porterross]

Trying to turn it into a game of being self-righteous serves no one, especially you. I pray that you are never put in the position of being judged by your own measure. You will be found lacking. Then and only then might you come to understand the concepts of Sola Gratia and Sola Scriptura.
None of us need another flawed human being to communicate on our behalf either to or for God and none of what He offers is for sale. Our hearts are His alone to judge.

 

[Autumnleaf]

Trying to turn it into a game of being self-righteous serves no one, especially you. I pray that you are never put in the position of being judged by your own measure. You will be found lacking. Then and only then might you come to understand the concepts of Sola Gratia and Sola Scriptura.
None of us need another flawed human being to communicate on our behalf either to or for God and none of what He offers is for sale. Our hearts are His alone to judge.

'You, you, you...' Give it up already.

The Bible says we should do x in y situation. Its that simple, really. I suppose it could get to be like a game if you spend your life trying to reason your way through a convoluted path of disobedience.

 

[c1ners]

'You, you, you...' Give it up already.

The Bible says we should do x in y situation. Its that simple, really. I suppose it could get to be like a game if you spend your life trying to reason your way through a convoluted path of disobedience.

NO Autumnleaf, you are WRONG! A wife does not have to be a doormat to her husband. She should not be abused and neglected, and feel unloved. You are twisting the bible to suit your own needs. And you need to STOP! Women were created to be a mans help mate. Help mate does not mean servant, slave, or door mat. I think you get a thrill out of getting us all in an uproar.

One day God is going to knock you off that high horse of yours. I only pray that all of us here are able to be a witness to it. God Bless you brother. You really need it.

 

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

Autumn, your phallocentric "theology" is grossly offensive, misrepresentative of Jesus and of males. I resent having my sex being drawn into such idiotic stereotypes of gender-role-dominance.

In Christ, says Paul, there is no male and female. So it is not that women are trying to be "like men", it is that there is an inequality to be addressed, sometimes aggressively. There are no black and white male and female roles, other than maybe child birth and standing to pee - altho I know women who stand up to pee, but no men who give birth, yet. Masculine and feminine roles and characteristics exist, but we are all both masculine and feminine.

As a single father of 4 I am often treated specially because either I am seen as soe super-human saint of a man, or seen as having some sort of genetic imbalance for being so "feminine" as to care for my children. Take a look at my pic, I aint feminine

A marriage creates a uniquely EQUAL relationship. Anything that suggests otherwise is unGodly and wrong, IMO.

 

[porterross]

'You, you, you...' Give it up already.

The Bible says we should do x in y situation. Its that simple, really. I suppose it could get to be like a game if you spend your life trying to reason your way through a convoluted path of disobedience.

You need to give up trying to beat everyone down with your papal law and self important judgement. We have Jesus and all is set right only by the cross which we ALL placed Him on. We all sin daily and no one sin is worse than the other. We fail and will always fail, but by our repentance, His grace and Mercy we are forgiven.

If you think any one of us can live a life of perfect obedience to God, you contradict Scripture and St. Paul himself, the self-described chief of sinners who could not help but do that which he did not want to do. Do you ever read the Bible or just accept what someone tells you it says?

Try reading Romans 7. If you need a link to a Bible online, let me know.

 

[Ashyah]

Autumnleaf,

Do you have a wife? If you do I wonder how you treat her.

God bless you.

What would God say to a man that when his wife asks for grocery money he turns around and says to her..You don't deserve (what we deposit in a toilet).

This was said to me over a year ago. It still hurts.

I am living in a womens transitional housing right now. I have no support from my husband. He doesn't hold a job.

We lost the house to foreclosure till this day he has not said a word about it. At the last minute I had to go out and find housing. He didn't even plan the moving of our belongings. At the last minute he started moving some things. Sheriffs then came and put our things in the alley. This man never even said a word about it.

What does the bible say about a man's role?

If men did what they are supposed to do women would be submissive. It is hard to be that when you are having to be the leader in the home.

Now when people ask my husband about me he will make a nasty face or tell them I am just too bossy. He didn't think I was bossy when I was back at home making decisions all by myself.

 

[Autumnleaf]

NO Autumnleaf, you are WRONG! A wife does not have to be a doormat to her husband. She should not be abused and neglected, and feel unloved. You are twisting the bible to suit your own needs. And you need to STOP! Women were created to be a mans help mate. Help mate does not mean servant, slave, or door mat. I think you get a thrill out of getting us all in an uproar.

One day God is going to knock you off that high horse of yours. I only pray that all of us here are able to be a witness to it. God Bless you brother. You really need it.

Thanks. I think. How do you think I'm twisting anything? You are not my wife so its not like I gain anything if you agree, or disagree, with me. My wife is no doormat, slave, or servant to anyone. God gives me my fair share of licks most of the time.

I think in some ways I am more humble than other people becuase I look at the Bible and accept what it says. Others often refuse to look at the Bible or refuse to do what it says because they think they are smarter. Their way makes more sense to them, and others in a similar situation. Why should we suffer if all we have to do to feel better is leave, they say? Who can argue with such simple logic? Maybe Jesus should have skipped town when the going got tough. God knows we deserved just that.

 

[Autumnleaf]

Autumn, your phallocentric "theology" is grossly offensive, misrepresentative of Jesus and of males. I resent having my sex being drawn into such idiotic stereotypes of gender-role-dominance.

In Christ, says Paul, there is no male and female. So it is not that women are trying to be "like men", it is that there is an inequality to be addressed, sometimes aggressively. There are no black and white male and female roles, other than maybe child birth and standing to pee - altho I know women who stand up to pee, but no men who give birth, yet. Masculine and feminine roles and characteristics exist, but we are all both masculine and feminine.

As a single father of 4 I am often treated specially because either I am seen as soe super-human saint of a man, or seen as having some sort of genetic imbalance for being so "feminine" as to care for my children. Take a look at my pic, I aint feminine

A marriage creates a uniquely EQUAL relationship. Anything that suggests otherwise is unGodly and wrong, IMO.

If you fail to recognize gender roles I won't discuss them with you. They are the foundation of who we are and how we interact with the world God created. Minimize them at your peril.

We are either or in the context of marriage according to how God created us and marriage.

You are a man forced to raise children on your own. You can be the best you can be in that capacity but it is not the same as if you and your wife were doing it together.

Nothing about marriage is equal. I work to pay the bills and I help with the children when I'm at home. My wife works at home with our children and makes some money part time when she wants. We get along because we aren't looking for equality. We both do more than our fair share in our own roles which God has assigned us. If you think that's unGodly I urge you to pick up your Bible and look up what God says about the matter.

 

[Autumnleaf]

You need to give up trying to beat everyone down with your papal law and self important judgement. We have Jesus and all is set right only by the cross which we ALL placed Him on. We all sin daily and no one sin is worse than the other. We fail and will always fail, but by our repentance, His grace and Mercy we are forgiven.

If you think any one of us can live a life of perfect obedience to God, you contradict Scripture and St. Paul himself, the self-described chief of sinners who could not help but do that which he did not want to do. Do you ever read the Bible or just accept what someone tells you it says?

Try reading Romans 7. If you need a link to a Bible online, let me know.

I refer to God speaking with Adam and Eve in Genesis. This is a common conversation in all Bibles I know of. You can't blame it on the Pope.

I think we can recognize sin and as Jesus said, 'Go and sin no more.' in those areas in which we know better.

I understand wanting to do something which we shouldn't do. What I don't understand is when people try to use the Bible to justify not going by what the Bible says. It just befuddles me.

 

[Autumnleaf]

Autumnleaf,

Do you have a wife? If you do I wonder how you treat her.

God bless you.

What would God say to a man that when his wife asks for grocery money he turns around and says to her..You don't deserve (what we deposit in a toilet).

This was said to me over a year ago. It still hurts.

I am living in a womens transitional housing right now. I have no support from my husband. He doesn't hold a job.

We lost the house to foreclosure till this day he has not said a word about it. At the last minute I had to go out and find housing. He didn't even plan the moving of our belongings. At the last minute he started moving some things. Sheriffs then came and put our things in the alley. This man never even said a word about it.

What does the bible say about a man's role?

If men did what they are supposed to do women would be submissive. It is hard to be that when you are having to be the leader in the home.

Now when people ask my husband about me he will make a nasty face or tell them I am just too bossy. He didn't think I was bossy when I was back at home making decisions all by myself.

Ignored this.

Thanks for the kindness after the negative implied connotation.

You'd have to ask God.

What did God say to you?

Why would you want to stay there?

That's rough. Its too bad it came to that.

The man is to love his wife.

I don't think you have to be the leader of your home. If you took up that position it would make your husband not the leader. You would be holding him back.

He says you were too bossy. You said you led in the home. How can you blame him for losing the house? You were the leader by your own admission! Go back and let him lead. Let him be too bossy. Let him make or break it with you as his support. You saw something in him long ago which made you think he was a good man. Now is the time when God can work miracles in your life. Even if he doesn't it can't get much worse. Can it?

 

[GoNoles]

'You, you, you...' Give it up already.

The Bible says we should do x in y situation. Its that simple, really. I suppose it could get to be like a game if you spend your life trying to reason your way through a convoluted path of disobedience.

Specifically, what does the Bible say a wife should do (x) when her husband is engaged in sinful sexual activies (y)?

Thanks. I think. How do you think I'm twisting anything? You are not my wife so its not like I gain anything if you agree, or disagree, with me. My wife is no doormat, slave, or servant to anyone. God gives me my fair share of licks most of the time.

I think in some ways I am more humble than other people becuase I look at the Bible and accept what it says. Others often refuse to look at the Bible or refuse to do what it says because they think they are smarter. Their way makes more sense to them, and others in a similar situation. Why should we suffer if all we have to do to feel better is leave, they say? Who can argue with such simple logic? Maybe Jesus should have skipped town when the going got tough. God knows we deserved just that.

There's no way you can compare ANY of this to the sacrifice of Christ... and doing so is a gross misrepresentation of the Gospel.

This isn't a "going gets tough" situation.

 

[GoNoles]

This has devolved into an argumentative thread when - in fact - we have a woman here who is asking for real advice and compassion. If you can't offer that, please refrain from posting in this thread. I want to remind everyone of the rule concerning off-topic posts:

2.8 No Off-Topic

You will not 'de-rail' or 'hijack' threads by making posts unrelated to the original post or other posts in the thread. You will not create threads unrelated to the topic of a forum or subforum.

and the rule about disrupting the peace and harmony of the forum:

2.9 No Disrupting the Peace and Harmony of the forum.

You will not do anything on the site that disrupts the peace and harmony of this forum. This includes, but not is limited to:

A. Deliberately reposting a post, thread, image, Chatbox post or anything else that has been removed by a staff member for a breach of forum rule.
B. Baiting where a member harasses another member to the point where he or she might retaliate in a flame.
C. Brinking where a member deliberately does things to push the boundaries of the forum rules.