When parishoners prefer just a blessing

[graceandpeace]

A really thoughtful piece by an Episcopal priest:

http://christiancentury.org/article/2016-07/take-and-eat

I think the perspective here is both pastoral to needs & traditional in understanding the importance of the Eucharist.

How does your church treat people who regularly request a blessing or otherwise refuse communion?

Other thoughts?

 

[Albion]

I see this so rarely, that it's hard to know what to think about it.

 

[Paidiske]

I don't have any adults who seek a blessing regularly, but I have some who just will not come to the rail.

It bothers me, but short of letting them know that I have noticed, and that I am available if there is anything they would like my help to work through, I don't feel there's very much I can do about it.

 

[everbecoming2007]

There is one parish member I have noticed who never takes communion, ever. He is simply blessed every Sunday. I find it odd. I don't know if anyone has tried to speak with him about it from the clergy.

Occasionally a parishoner will decline receiving the Sacrament. I think we are not supposed to pay attention to who is receiving, but sometimes I notice. No comment or fuss is ever made that I've noticed.

For some reason though people stare and clergy look taken aback if I don't receive which upsets and irritates me. This happened through the entire year before I was baptized except the clergy began recognizing me. Perhaps I notice it more since it is me, or perhaps it is less expected from younger parishoners. Therefore if I am not partaking then I simply do not approach the rail and get much less attention. This is a rare occasion when I feel that I need to make amends to a neighbor.

 

[Sword of the Lord]

Perhaps they just want a blessing because they know or feel that they aren't in a state to take the Eucharist. I was in such a place for 6 months. Sometimes I still refuse the Eucharist because I am in a state of purposeful sin and haven't repented fully. Paul talks about taking unworthily.

 

[graceandpeace]

Thanks for the replies everyone.

I agree that there are important reasons why someone might opt not to receive. I'm fine with each person working out their own salvation in this area.

I also agree that a priest can reach out pastorally, but I don't see what else they could do. Forcing people to commune won't accomplish anything good, & again there might be reasons why a person should abstain from time to time.

One of the persons in the article though was opting not to receive because they just felt happier being blessed. Perhaps it stemmed from a place of spiritual confusion, since they were also attending 2 other churches & ultimately joined their fiancee's denomination.

 

[Shane R]

In the older prayer books, there was an exhortation to the very effect of the OP. Likewise, the rubrics called for the minister to publicly admonish anyone who was known to be living in a state of lawlessness not to come to the altar until they had repented. In my recent experience, the exhortation is read only once a year, prior to Lent. As for calling out the reprobates in the congregation, I have never seen it happen. Of course, with recent news and events, one might wonder if some Anglican churches still identify anyone as reprobate.

The exhortation:

DEARLY beloved in the Lord, ye who mind to come to the holy Communion of the Body and Blood of our Saviour Christ, must consider how Saint Paul exhorteth all persons diligently to try and examine themselves, before they presume to eat of that Bread, and drink of that Cup. For as the benefit is great, if with a true penitent heart and lively faith we receive that holy Sacrament ; so is the danger great, if we receive the same unworthily. Judge therefore your-selves, brethren, that ye be not judged of the Lord ; repent ye truly for your sins past ; have a lively and steadfast faith in Christ our Saviour ; amend your lives, and be in perfect charity with all men ; so shall ye be meet partakers of those holy mysteries. And above all things ye must give most humble and hearty thanks to God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, for the redemption of the world by the death and passion of our Saviour Christ, both God and man ; who did humble himself, even to the death upon the Cross, for us, miserable sinners, who lay in darkness and the shadow of death ; that he might make us the children of God, and exalt us to everlasting life. And to the end that we should always remember the exceeding great love of our Master, and only Saviour, Jesus Christ, thus dying for us, and the innumerable benefits which by his precious blood-shedding he hath obtained for us ; he hath instituted and ordained holy mysteries, as pledges of his love, and for a continual remembrance of his death, to our great and endless comfort. To him therefore, with the Father and the Holy Ghost, let us give (as we are most bounden) continual thanks ; submitting ourselves wholly to his holy will and pleasure, and studying to serve him in true holi- ness and righteousness all the days of our life. Amen. ​

And this, the call to the general confession, which I think of as a short form of the exhortation:

YE who do truly and earnestly repent you of your sins, and are in love and charity with your neighbours, and intend to lead a new life, following the commandments of God, and walking from henceforth in his holy ways ; draw near with faith, and take this holy Sacrament to your comfort ; and make your humble confession to Almighty God, devoutly kneeling.
​

The rubrics:

¶ If among those who come to be partakers of the Holy Communion, the Minister shall know any to be an open and notorious evil liver, or to have done any wrong to his neighbours by word or deed, so that the Congregation be hereby offended ; he shall advertise him, that he presume not to come to the Lord’s Table, until he have openly declared himself to have truly repented and amended his former evil life, that the Congregation may thereby be satisfied ; and that he hath recompensed the parties to whom he hath done wrong ; or at least declare himself to be in full purpose so to do, as soon as he conveniently may.
¶ The same order shall the Minister use with those, betwixt whom be perceiveth malice and hatred to reign ; not suffering them to be partakers of the Lord’s Table, until he know them to be reconciled. And if one of the parties, so at variance, be content to forgive from the bottom of his heart all that the other hath trespassed against him, and to make amends for that wherein he himself hath offended ; and the other party will not be persuaded to a godly unity, but remain still in his forwardness and malice ; the Minister in that case ought to admit the penitent person to the Holy Communion, and not him that is obstinate. Provided, that every Minister so repelling any, as is herein specified, shall be obliged to give an account of the same to the Ordinary, within fourteen days after, at the farthest. ​

 

[everbecoming2007]

In the older prayer books, there was an exhortation to the very effect of the OP. Likewise, the rubrics called for the minister to publicly admonish anyone who was known to be living in a state of lawlessness not to come to the altar until they had repented. In my recent experience, the exhortation is read only once a year, prior to Lent. As for calling out the reprobates in the congregation, I have never seen it happen. Of course, with recent news and events, one might wonder if some Anglican churches still identify anyone as reprobate.

The exhortation:

DEARLY beloved in the Lord, ye who mind to come to the holy Communion of the Body and Blood of our Saviour Christ, must consider how Saint Paul exhorteth all persons diligently to try and examine themselves, before they presume to eat of that Bread, and drink of that Cup. For as the benefit is great, if with a true penitent heart and lively faith we receive that holy Sacrament ; so is the danger great, if we receive the same unworthily. Judge therefore your-selves, brethren, that ye be not judged of the Lord ; repent ye truly for your sins past ; have a lively and steadfast faith in Christ our Saviour ; amend your lives, and be in perfect charity with all men ; so shall ye be meet partakers of those holy mysteries. And above all things ye must give most humble and hearty thanks to God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, for the redemption of the world by the death and passion of our Saviour Christ, both God and man ; who did humble himself, even to the death upon the Cross, for us, miserable sinners, who lay in darkness and the shadow of death ; that he might make us the children of God, and exalt us to everlasting life. And to the end that we should always remember the exceeding great love of our Master, and only Saviour, Jesus Christ, thus dying for us, and the innumerable benefits which by his precious blood-shedding he hath obtained for us ; he hath instituted and ordained holy mysteries, as pledges of his love, and for a continual remembrance of his death, to our great and endless comfort. To him therefore, with the Father and the Holy Ghost, let us give (as we are most bounden) continual thanks ; submitting ourselves wholly to his holy will and pleasure, and studying to serve him in true holi- ness and righteousness all the days of our life. Amen. ​

And this, the call to the general confession, which I think of as a short form of the exhortation:

YE who do truly and earnestly repent you of your sins, and are in love and charity with your neighbours, and intend to lead a new life, following the commandments of God, and walking from henceforth in his holy ways ; draw near with faith, and take this holy Sacrament to your comfort ; and make your humble confession to Almighty God, devoutly kneeling.
​

The rubrics:

¶ If among those who come to be partakers of the Holy Communion, the Minister shall know any to be an open and notorious evil liver, or to have done any wrong to his neighbours by word or deed, so that the Congregation be hereby offended ; he shall advertise him, that he presume not to come to the Lord’s Table, until he have openly declared himself to have truly repented and amended his former evil life, that the Congregation may thereby be satisfied ; and that he hath recompensed the parties to whom he hath done wrong ; or at least declare himself to be in full purpose so to do, as soon as he conveniently may.
¶ The same order shall the Minister use with those, betwixt whom be perceiveth malice and hatred to reign ; not suffering them to be partakers of the Lord’s Table, until he know them to be reconciled. And if one of the parties, so at variance, be content to forgive from the bottom of his heart all that the other hath trespassed against him, and to make amends for that wherein he himself hath offended ; and the other party will not be persuaded to a godly unity, but remain still in his forwardness and malice ; the Minister in that case ought to admit the penitent person to the Holy Communion, and not him that is obstinate. Provided, that every Minister so repelling any, as is herein specified, shall be obliged to give an account of the same to the Ordinary, within fourteen days after, at the farthest. ​

That last rubric is still in the 1979 BCP in a similar form.

Some individuals, a minority I am sure, may have trouble trusting God in his mercy. I struggled with this early on. It is not a problem anymore for me. We sin each week, but we must trust God and strive by grace ennobling our works, repenting of our sins each moment, and persevere in receiving the sacrament.

In examining myself as I said I tend to focus especially on my relations to my neighbor and that is a rule of thumb as to whether I go to receive the sacrament. I fear many people may not understand the significance of Holy Communion in our lives as it concerns our relation to our neighbor, that it becomes an unreflective ritual that one does on Sunday because that's what we do.

I do have to examine my conscience carefully and sometimes require a priest to help me. Unfortunately I was raised in such an environment that conditioned me to believe it is a sin to stand up for myself, and this despite having a mostly secular upbringing, and have thought anger, speaking out against intolerable behavior, or even removing myself from harmful family relationships was wrong.

I say this to emphasize that our conscience is flawed. But taking the sacrament is really a relationship with God and neighbor, and it is dynamic. We should examine our hearts carefully, and yet trust God and not be overly scrupulous, seeking pastoral guidance as necessary. I think the prayer book emphasizes both sides of this as well. A scrupulous fear of the sacrament was a problem during the Reformation if not today.

 

[Albion]

Perhaps they just want a blessing because they know or feel that they aren't in a state to take the Eucharist. I was in such a place for 6 months. Sometimes I still refuse the Eucharist because I am in a state of purposeful sin and haven't repented fully. Paul talks about taking unworthily.

I fully understand that. However, the extent of the problem, being apparent to the priest after he's witnessed the repeated requests for a blessing rather than communion, is something that he ought to take in hand.

 

[seeking.IAM]

I fully understand that. However, the extent of the problem, being apparent to the priest after he's witnessed the repeated requests for a blessing rather than communion, is something that he ought to take in hand.

Perhaps the priest has taken it in hand. In my congregation, there is a person who has worshipped regularly and faithfully for years. He never takes communion. Our priest mentioned that he understands this person's reason & situation (whatever it may be for it is unknown to me). I took it that the priest has personally talked to this individual and is understanding & accepting of whatever transpired in that conversation.

Also, in my congregation we have a few RCs who worship with us faithfully. I assume they do so because of some conflict they hold with the RCs or perhaps because they feel more welcome here than there. I consider them to be RCs on loan to us, but RCs still. I suspect they still hold to a long held belief that only their RC Eucharist is valid, although either they or the RCs are denying it to them. Yet, they are with us every Sunday, and I am glad they are there.

 

[graceandpeace]

As noted by others above, I do think priests notice & care, & in the article this priest did intervene in the situation. But short of educating a member about the Eucharist & encouraging them to receive, what more can be done?

I don't think banning folks from the pews is a good plan, except in the most extreme situations, of which refusing communion is not one of them for me. Ultimately, each person must work out their own salvation. I think the church community should help, but individuals can't be forced to participate beyond what they're willing to do. There are times when it might be best not to receive.

The main person in the article, however, only wanted a blessing because they liked it more. This person did not, in the end, join TEC. I don't know how common it is for members who remain to prefer a blessing. In my church, I only pay attention to myself & my family at the rail.

 

[Albion]

As noted by others above, I do think priests notice & care, & in the article this priest did intervene in the situation. But short of educating a member about the Eucharist & encouraging them to receive, what more can be done?

Hopefully, we can agree that it matters when it is that the priest does take notice. We've been talking about people going to the Communion rail for many months, and even years, to receive a blessing but not Communion...and without any apparent reason for this unusual action (they're not Roman Catholic visitors, for example). Any priest who waits that long before doing something about it is not "taking notice" in my book. Sorry, but he's not.

 

[FireDragon76]

The practice of offering a blessing is ripe for abuse. This isn't the first time I have heard of this sort of thing happening.

The Lord's Supper is given for the remission of sins. There is no reason to abstain, short of health problems that would make it problematic, or perhaps just being a visitor at that church from a different Christian confession that is opposed to intercommunion (some Protestant churches I have visited seem to think that all guests must participate).

Many of those individuals in that article sound like they are being overly scrupulous and self-willed. A pastor or priest needs to take them gently aside and explain to them what they are doing is misguided. And if need be, a blessing could be withheld. To offer a blessing instead of the Sacrament shows basic theological confusion. It is here that a therapeutic use of the Keys to the Kingdom (the power to bind or to loose) might be beneficial, at the discretion of the priest or pastor.

 

[Paidiske]

Honestly, most of the time you won't know what the priest has or has not done, what conversations have or have not been had.

I have someone in my congregation who doesn't take communion. I've spoken to him. I have some idea of what the issue is, and at this point he's not ready to push through working through it (I think he should, but he has to be ready). I respect his decision to stay away until he is ready.

But unless you were him, or perhaps his wife, you wouldn't know that I'd spoken to him, wouldn't know what his issue is, and might well be judging me for my lack of action. But I can't actually force interior change; I can only invite and offer support.

 

[Albion]

Earlier in this thread, the trend of the posts was to the effect that the clergy didn't do anything. One poster even noted that the clergy looked "taken aback" by a person who persistently declined Communion--but that was about all. Another reported his own decision not to commune and said nothing about the clergy doing anything in reaction to that. So if that's the situation, we might have a certain reaction to it. But of course, if the clergy do indeed speak to the persons involved, that's what most of us would expect of them, regardless of whether it changes the attitudes of the folks who were offered a chance to talk about it.

 

[Padres1969]

I don't have any adults who seek a blessing regularly, but I have some who just will not come to the rail.

It bothers me, but short of letting them know that I have noticed, and that I am available if there is anything they would like my help to work through, I don't feel there's very much I can do about it.

Yeah I grew up in a tradition where if you weren't able to receive for some reason of sin you simply sat in your pew and didn't go up. My old man still does that to this day. But I've always appreciated that my church has the option to come up for a blessing open as a sort of halfway between nothing and the Eucharist. I've never seen it personally and would probably never turn down the Eucharist as an option, but I can understand some of those that prefer to receive a blessing. I mean if I ever felt that I wasn't quite up to snuff so to speak to receive Christ in a particular week due to sin or some form of doubt, it might be nice to receive a blessing in that instance. And thinking back to before my reception I actually am kind of perplexed at myself for not considering receiving the blessing rather than the Eucharist before I'd been formally received. In some ways it would have been more appropriate despite the ECUSA's open communion rules.

 

[seeking.IAM]

Honestly, most of the time you won't know what the priest has or has not done, what conversations have or have not been had...

As it should be!