when is it okay?

[blackribbon]

Is it ever okay to just say you can't handle any more grief and death?

I have a widowed friend that the year after her husband died, she had to attend a funeral literally every month for over a year. She had 4 teen children and death was starting to be "normal" for them.

Over the last 4 years, several more people close to them have died. Now one of her friend...someone she hangs out with... has been diagnosed with breast cancer. The woman told my friend that she would need to lean on her. My widowed friend loves her but also says she just doesn't have it in her to be what this lady needs. She is barely keeping her husband's business alive and her 4 kids moving forward and sane. She just can't "do death" again.

I also kind of know the woman with cancer and live far enough away that I can't offer too much support...but I am also hesitate to bring my children back into a circle where they might have to watch another person die of cancer.

When is it okay to say, "I can't do this Lord" ... and just step back?

 

[ThyLovingkindness]

Hi blackribbon, I'll give this a shot, and perhaps you should pray that God's will be done.

Personally, if it were me, I would help this woman. Even if that meant guiding her toward the resources she needs. There's much you don't say; yet, it sounds to me as if she requires a caregiver. Does she have family? If so, have they been contacted? Does she have a church body with a pastor who can assist? I'm just shooting off ideas here. No one should have to endure neglect. Praying for ya, blessings.

 

[blackribbon]

It hasn't gotten that far. She has just been diagnosed and hasn't even schedule surgery yet. "V" is divorced and her two daughters have already shown that they aren't planning on "stepping up". My widow friend will do whatever needs to be done. She always does. I live 45 minutes away and am limited to what I can do, but I may load my kids up to help with her horses one day a week.

I guess I just needed to vent a bit. My friend seems to be followed by death and it is hard to understand why some people have to carry such a heavy load in this life.