When is it my turn?

[msjones21]

I see these posts, I experience it in real life. When is it going to be my turn to have such an impact on a man's life that if we (God forbid) part ways he would be desparate to have me back? Why am I always the girl they run to for comfort, boost my ego, promise me the moon, and then run back to some fading memory of their ex? When is it my turn? I've been ready and waiting on God's time and as soon as I feel He's put somebody in my life they're gone...running back to the ex as always. My ex claims he still has feelings for me, but it didn't stop him from going off and getting re-married and having a baby. He even named his daughter what he and I were going to name our's. It hurts so bad.

 

[Grommit]

Hey MsJones, it's all good...

I too have been alone my entire life and it's been hard to deal with at times. I'm going to be 26 this year and I have never once dated a girl nor have I even had anyone tell me they love me and mean it, heh. I got to the point where I thought I was going to be alone for the rest of my life so I just threw my hands up in the air and decided I'd just live life the best I could... It was when I decided to stop looking that I found several women who came into my life that I could develop a relationship with. It's funny how when we want something the most is when we are the furthest from it and when we don't care for something, it falls into our lap. Life... *sigh*

I too want to be someone special in a womans life. I want to experience the joy that I see so many other people have. The way I look at it now is that since I've been living without 'love' for such a long time and have gotten over the infantile "It's not fair! I want one, too!" stage that when I do find a special woman I won't take it for granted as I see so many do today. I will know just how rare and special she is and treat her accordingly. These times alone will make your moments with man more passionate and more meaningful.

At the very least, you have your freedom for now... I'd make the best of it while you can. It will happen in time. Just hang in there and for now just work on making yourself a better woman so the next man who comes into your life wouldn't dare think about leaving. heh.

From your post, would I be correct to assume you still have strong feelings for your ex? If so, how long ago did you two break up? I'm sorry you have gone through such experiences. Hang in there! There are a bunch of good guys left in this world who are looking for a woman too. The odds are you will find at least one of them...

 

[holo]

It think it was in the movie Blow that somone said "you had the wrong dream."
msjones,
life simply isn't fair. We don't get what we want, for some it may be a husband, for some it may be food or a cure for AIDS. I know how those feelings can hurt, but, perhaps you're a little like me in that you weren't exactly born with such strong desires and wants, but it's rather something you have learned from friends, movies, novels, everything and everyone who gives you the idea that being single is such a bad thing and creating the image of some sort of perfect (but sadly impossible) romance.

 

[KGirl]

Maybe you need to stop wanting so bad (easier said then done). I thought I wouldn't find the guy I'd be with until I was 23 or 25 or something, and especially didn't think I'd meet him really soon after losing the guy I loved at the time (I know how hard that is ). You have to try to focus on God and let Him have his timing..

One thing that helps is to not watch TV alot, and try to listen to all Christian music. When you see love on TV all the time (they show it all the time) it gets ya down. And love songs..

 

[deornie]

I just wanted to tell you my story...
I have always been a book-worm, just studying and not having anything else in my life...I thought I'd rather have a career than any relationship because all I saw around was just gray and ugly... my parents divorced, my uncle divorced my cousins divorced my brother is engaged with the girl but they never even hug never look at each other with tenderness they dont have love!just a habit... I knew that if I marry it will be horrible cos I will be a slave to a man who will be hitting me and when i get old will leave me for someone else,that's what I saw around.... But I was stubborn and told myself career was all I wanted and that love is a fairy-tale...

But then things in my life changed and I had to leave my university and I found myself alone in my room without education job and future being a shame and burden to my family without friends and anything to look forward to...all I wanted was to die... I looked at myself and realized that I was 21 and never ever had a date in my life never ever even held hands with a guy, never was looked at or invited to dance or to the movies.... And at my age some of my former classmates married had kids or just had a long experience of dating and I was a black sheep no one wanted...and just was told by the society standards that i am just an old maid...

Once I saw a talk show and there was an old lady... when she was 20 she was loved and popular had a great job and bright future, but then she lost her job and her friends and all and spent her life alone in a caravan in sorrow... and she said 'all my life I was waiting for someone to walk through my door and save me from loneliness and to take me away from here....But nobody came...' And that what I thought was going to happen to me... I was alone in my room sometimes not going out to the fresh air for weeks...I was sitting here getting more depressed... I prayed but there it seemed was no answer...I was considering a suicide... I thought "now I dont even leave my room how can God help me get me a job or education how can He change my life if I am here alone and nobody knows about me?" My only joy was to surf the net and chatting...and once in chat one guy told me "may I be your friend?" I chatted to him for 5 minutes about some trifles and he offered to be my friend, I thought he was one more carzy internet nut but he insisted so much that I gave him my email...and we started exchanging emails and chatting on messengers. On his webcam he showed me his dogs and cat and his parents and friends... he never missed a single weekend...(forgot to say that he is from South Africa and I am from Europe)...he turned out to be so sincere and caring and sweet... and one day he said "I'm gonna visit you" I did not believe him because of the distance but talked to my mom and she said that he is welcome and he came!! The time of his stay here passed like one day we were going to bed at 3 or 4 in the morning because we just were chatting and chatting for hours and looking at each other... He enchanted my family completely... I also made friends with his mom we've been corresponding for 7 months now... Now I'm getting my visa to vist him in South Africa and I need all the prayers in the world to get this visa... He is my dear friend he understands and shares all and we have great romantic feelings toward each other... and I cant help wondering how God brought him to my door across the world to give me new hope and save me from despair and share my faith with me...I cant help crying when I think of that wonder....

Sorry for this enormous post, but I just wanted to say that you should not give up your faith in miracles in romance and great LOVE!!Don't listen to anyone who tries to discourage you and tell you there are no miracles... I KNOW God will bring someone very special to your door at the time when He thinks is right. Your task is to believe! If He made impossible for me, a little unwanted plain book-worm, He gave me this wonderful handsome and kind guy who gives me so much love and attention... Why should you doubt that He can do it for you too???

Smile!Because our Lord is GREAT!!!!!

 

[mina]

I know how it feels. I was asking a friend the exact same thing yesterday "when will it be my turn". But the truth of reality is that life isn't fair, and God has never promised us that we will get everything we want. I want to offer comfort to you but I can't tell you that you will get what you want because I don't know God's plan for your life. But I do know that whatever God has for you, He will make you able to bear it with only His grace and strength. Life hurts, people hurt, only the arms of God can hold you in the way that will satisfy your soul. I know you want this greatly (I want the same thing) and it hurts greatly when things don't work out like we want. All I can say is to trust God; He will rescue you from the pain ever time. He will always always always rescue us when we ask Him. Maybe not in the way we expect, but He will be there. Also I suggest not to buy into the whole Christian self-help gurus that offer advice on singleness/marriage/relationships or lack there of. I know that sounds kind of cynical, but their books are not the word of God and even their best written intentions can play on our emotions and make us pine for something that we don't have. It's ok to read them but do it with the realization that they are just humans that are not 100 percent correct in every situation. I hope you don;t think i'm being mean or anything, I have just found that when I read those books sometimes I start to focus on what I dont have rather on what I do. God bless you ms jones!

 

[Lizzi4Christ]

When you stop looking, that's when they come.

At least for me. I stopped looking for a guy. I just said stop. Then I realized that I had an absolutely great guy right in front of me and we had the same feelings for each other.

Just stop looking. You'll meet a guy you love dearly and who loves you back just as dearly.

 

[sparrow1029]

Msjones21--I've read a lot of your other posts. You know the answer to your own question Keep the faith!

 

[charligirl]

I know how you're feeling. I came back to God at your age having backslidden. I was single for a year and remember thinking the exact same thing....at the time I remember a girl friend who was 30 and single saying 'how do you think I feel?'... well I know how she feels now too because by 30 I was STILL single.. in fact I was single until 32 - 9 years!

But God's timing is perfect and many times over those 9 years when I thought I was ready for marriage, or healed in an area or submitted in an area..... I can see now that I wasn't... hindsight is a wonderful thing!

Years ago I remember being fed up and praying for a husband and asking God what the hold up was (I hadn't learnt patience!) and I thought He said 'your husband isn't saved yet'

I used to think that perhaps I was responsible for the delay, that some of my more silly choices had delayed what God could do.... but the man I did marry certainly wasn't saved then and actually wasn't saved until last year so perhaps God was delaying for my husband's sake not mine!

I had to reach a place where I stopped looking and 'helping' God, I was obedient in a call to move towns to be part of a new church and be content even though I was the ONLY single in the church, it was only then that I met my husband.

I don't know what God's timing is for you but all I can say is that don't wish away the seasons, each one is precious. I remember when I shared a flat with a girlfriend for 3 years, we had the best fun... staying in in our pj's and watching Pop Idol on a saturday night - eating chocolate at 3 in the morning laughing at old photos.. basically just being girls and having fun. We used to say to each other 'let's enjoy this because one day we'll be married and these days will be gone!'

 

[Knarf188]

I just wanted to tell you my story...
I have always been a book-worm, just studying and not having anything else in my life...I thought I'd rather have a career than any relationship because all I saw around was just gray and ugly... my parents divorced, my uncle divorced my cousins divorced my brother is engaged with the girl but they never even hug never look at each other with tenderness they dont have love!just a habit... I knew that if I marry it will be horrible cos I will be a slave to a man who will be hitting me and when i get old will leave me for someone else,that's what I saw around.... But I was stubborn and told myself career was all I wanted and that love is a fairy-tale...

But then things in my life changed and I had to leave my university and I found myself alone in my room without education job and future being a shame and burden to my family without friends and anything to look forward to...all I wanted was to die... I looked at myself and realized that I was 21 and never ever had a date in my life never ever even held hands with a guy, never was looked at or invited to dance or to the movies.... And at my age some of my former classmates married had kids or just had a long experience of dating and I was a black sheep no one wanted...and just was told by the society standards that i am just an old maid...

Once I saw a talk show and there was an old lady... when she was 20 she was loved and popular had a great job and bright future, but then she lost her job and her friends and all and spent her life alone in a caravan in sorrow... and she said 'all my life I was waiting for someone to walk through my door and save me from loneliness and to take me away from here....But nobody came...' And that what I thought was going to happen to me... I was alone in my room sometimes not going out to the fresh air for weeks...I was sitting here getting more depressed... I prayed but there it seemed was no answer...I was considering a suicide... I thought "now I dont even leave my room how can God help me get me a job or education how can He change my life if I am here alone and nobody knows about me?" My only joy was to surf the net and chatting...and once in chat one guy told me "may I be your friend?" I chatted to him for 5 minutes about some trifles and he offered to be my friend, I thought he was one more carzy internet nut but he insisted so much that I gave him my email...and we started exchanging emails and chatting on messengers. On his webcam he showed me his dogs and cat and his parents and friends... he never missed a single weekend...(forgot to say that he is from South Africa and I am from Europe)...he turned out to be so sincere and caring and sweet... and one day he said "I'm gonna visit you" I did not believe him because of the distance but talked to my mom and she said that he is welcome and he came!! The time of his stay here passed like one day we were going to bed at 3 or 4 in the morning because we just were chatting and chatting for hours and looking at each other... He enchanted my family completely... I also made friends with his mom we've been corresponding for 7 months now... Now I'm getting my visa to vist him in South Africa and I need all the prayers in the world to get this visa... He is my dear friend he understands and shares all and we have great romantic feelings toward each other... and I cant help wondering how God brought him to my door across the world to give me new hope and save me from despair and share my faith with me...I cant help crying when I think of that wonder....

Sorry for this enormous post, but I just wanted to say that you should not give up your faith in miracles in romance and great LOVE!!Don't listen to anyone who tries to discourage you and tell you there are no miracles... I KNOW God will bring someone very special to your door at the time when He thinks is right. Your task is to believe! If He made impossible for me, a little unwanted plain book-worm, He gave me this wonderful handsome and kind guy who gives me so much love and attention... Why should you doubt that He can do it for you too???

Smile!Because our Lord is GREAT!!!!!

I'm Sorry I have to say something on this.... don't get mad at me... I just feel like... well again don't get mad but this just shows... please don't get mad... just how I feel you know... we are entitled to our opinions ...


THAT IS SO AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!! PRAISE GOD... that is an awesome Testimony... Here I come online friendship dating service thingy hahaha ... but honestly that is so kool... I hope and pray that it all goes well... and that you bring Glory to God in your relationship... I know I have never had a 'Christ-Like' relationship... I've had the other flavor.... but I can't wait too meet the right one if there is one... and if it is not one ... THAT IS OK... God gets to hear me moan and complain all night about different verses in the Bible =) or why kan't he bake me kookies once in a while haha... sorry just got karried away... take kare and God Bless...
Keep your eyes focused on him
In Christ,
Frank

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Get comfortable with you by yourself and not you with a guy.
You're cool as you are.
Your turn will come.