When a spouse is more of an enemy than a partner.

[mkgal1]

There's the rub. How do you discern what is 'best' for the relationship, the other person, you?
"wanting what is best for you" is a line my wife uses a lot when she and I disagree, especially when I feel disrespected by her.
"Save yourself" can also land you in hot water. You know the old adage 'The road to hell is paved with good intentions...'
Sorry if I'm cynical but the fluff of my last few posts in this thread is really hitting me in the face today :/

It's not easy to discern what is "best" for the relationship OR the other person when there's disagreement.

You're right......"save yourself" can definitely land a person in hot water.....and there *has* to be more than "good intentions". There *has* to be truth to back up those intentions---especially when there's disagreement. That's the difficult part----how do we know what "Truth" is when we seem to stand alone?

I think that only with lots of prayer.....a true desire to know the truth.....and shutting out the other voices (except for the one's that God *desires* for us to hear) is the only way to know. We are promised wisdom, if that's truly what we desire........

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.~James 1:5-6

 

[mkgal1]

It does no good to stay in a relationship of hate, nor is this pleasing to God. God lays out for us all the things marriage should be and the phrase "for better or worse" is NOT scripture. Many verses regarding the unequally yoked have been quoted above. God wants us to be in loving relationship with all-but the members of "all" get a vote.

YES!!

And no amount of love from the one being hated is going to cause the one hating to love. It's not a lack of love that's causing them to hate. There are plenty of people that hate God---and His love is perfect.

Hating is different than "unbelieving" though......that's the big issue (IMO). Unbelieving just means "doubting" (to me).......and the way God seems to deal with that is by providing reasons *not* to doubt......reasons to trust.

All throughout Scripture, though......if a person is adamant against hearing God's word----we are instructed to "shake off our sandals", because I believe (only speculation) we harden a person's heart the more we try to convince them they are wrong (serving another master) and we are right. Two people in staunch disagreement (one loving.....the other hating) cannot dwell in peace. As an example----Cain and Abel.

 

[ChristianGolfer]

The two do not "become" one overnight, it is a process. Sometimes not every marriage completes this process and Sometimes the person you end up with is not the one you married. Most do not even do the fasting and prayer they should before the marriage. Many marry for the WRONG reason (Pregnancy, social pressures, to have a roof over their head) and then are surprised when it's not all wine and roses.

People continue to make individual choices after they marry. One spouse may choose to become involved in drugs or alcohol and these things may take over their lives. These choices can snowball into circumstances no person should have to bear.
Is this the way God Intended? No..but even Adam and Eve did not operate according to "plan".

The purpose of marriage is to perseve the family unit (not to make us holy) we are made holy being born into the kindgom. The family unit should be treated as holy but in order for that to happen the two principals have to be in either in agreement or 1 of the two must be in a very submissive position and endure what most would consider a miserable life-finding whatever joy there is outside the spouse who is not living according to the "plan".

It does no good to stay in a relationship of hate, nor is this pleasing to God. God lays out for us all the things marriage should be and the phrase "for better or worse" is NOT scripture. Many verses regarding the unequally yoked have been quoted above. God wants us to be in loving relationship with all-but the members of "all" get a vote. I know women who are doing nothing more but sitting around "waiting even hoping for their husbands to die" because the men have been so horrific in the treatment of their wives.

There are only 3 real choices in life: Life will force you at SOME point:

1) To choose between right and wrong (Good/Evil)
2) To choose between the lesser of two evils (undesirable options)
3) To choose what you need above what you want (if you want to be sucessful)

It amazes me that we (christians) are more ready to forgive the man who Killed his Wife and children, than the couple who got a divorce.