When a pastor grows disinterested...

[Jenster]

Hi there! I'm a lay person and I'm seeking advice on what to do (how to pray?) for our senior pastor - and our church.

For the past couple of years, the senior pastor has been increasingly DISinterested in being our shepherd. He delegates almost everything he can.

Just recently he asked me to take over a task he said he "didn't want to do anymore." Our prayer ministry lost its lay leader and he hasn't stepped in to do anything about it. He's asked for regular time off each month. He sees himself as a visionary, and expects to devote himself to reading articles and networking with pastors.

At least a few people have asked what exactly we're paying him for. He doesn't even spend much time on his sermons. Our church needs a shepherd (IMHO) who simply loves the sheep, not someone who is out there trying to figure out the next greatest trend in churches.

The person who is keeping our church alive is our associate pastor. I am the LAST person to want disunity in our church, but we've had steadily declining attendance and financial limitations. I'm concerned that our senior pastor is, quite honestly, bringing down the whole church.

As pastors, if you heard a lay person expressing these concerns, what would you counsel them to do?

I know that you don't know me, and you probably wonder if I've got some personal grievance, but all I can do is tell you how much it's hurting me to see our church devolve into bitterness due to neglect and lack of spiritual growth. I could have left the church as many others have, but I'm hoping that the LORD will save us. We have many people who work so hard to make our church thrive and be a light in the darkness, but I don't know how much more discouragement we can take.

Thank you for your thoughts.

 

[foundationguy]

There could be several reasons for this so it's hard to say what the right approach is. It could be he's burning out, it could be that he God is calling him somewhere else and he's preparing to leave, it could be discouragement, sin, etc ... there are many reasons.

Does he have any strong relationships with people in the church? I'm not sure how your church "government" is setup so I don't know if there are other leaders within the church that could deal with it. If I were in the situation, I would probably pursue a closer relationship with him and see if I could discern any issues. That's not really an option for you because of the gender difference.

If he's normally an open person and easy to talk to, you might just start by telling him you sense him pulling back from the church and is there any way you can pray for him or encourage him. Just do it without attacking.

So, all that said, I know I didn't give you any answers but I will pray that God gives you discernment in how to proceed.

 

[Jenster]

Thank you, foundationguy. I appreciate your wise thoughts. Though I asked for "advice" in my OP, I realize in reading your reply that it's helpful for me to even hear some ideas and just kick around the subject a bit. I've been feeling a bit "alone" on this one, since I clearly don't want to stir up any dissension by talking about it with other members.

That said, there have been a few times over the past few years that people have tried to do something, like pray for the pastor. But I have to admit, those initiatives fell by the wayside. I think that is part of the issue - that I'm not certain if anyone in leadership (we have a board of directors) is willing/able to sustain effort in this direction. You know how people address issues, but then get distracted by life and don't follow through long-term? That type of thing. I'm guilty of it as well, it's just that this issue keeps flagging my attention.

 

[Father Rick]

Have you considered talking to your pastor about your concerns?

 

[Jenster]

Hi Father Rick, thank you for asking. I haven't talked with him.

I have known our pastor for eight years. In that time, I and others have come to see that he tends to gather an "inner circle" of people to bounce ideas off of, etc. -- those he finds particularly smart, progressive, etc. He is friendly with people outside that circle, but doesn't give much weight to their ideas. As one person told me, if she told him her concerns, she feels he wouldn't consider them valid.

Perhaps that is a misperception, but maybe not. Another person left the church after feeling he was "out" of the inner circle.

Anyhow, this is to say that I'm considering talking to a few members of our board about the pastor, because I also feel the pastor wouldn't listen to me directly. Perhaps he would listen to them.

 

[ALABALE]

Jenster,

Would you happen to know if those people in the "inner circle" are noticing or feeling the same way you and others are feeling?

As Father Rick suggested - someone needs to speak to him. I advise that 1) it be someone from his inner circle (if possible) and 2) not more than 2 people. If there are more than 2 people he's going to feel "ganged up". If there is only one person - there are no witnesses.

I pray for guidance for you and the other lay workers and leadership of your church!

 

[Jenster]

Alabale,

Thank you for your guidance, especially in pointing out how to approach the pastor so that he does not feel ganged up on. You always have good wisdom to share.

I think it's right to check my perceptions against those who are closest to him. I don't claim to have the definitive word from the LORD, but I do have an intuition. If there is the *possibility* the LORD is trying to use me for His purpose, then I must heed His prompting and at least check it out with those close to the pastor.

What I'm going to do is take the next week to pray over this situation. I feel peace about praying. If the LORD is in this, He will direct my next step. I'm sure of that, because that's the kind of God He is. The last thing I want to do is attempt to control this situation.

Thank you for your prayers and advice!

 

[Jenster]

Just wanted to let you all know that the LORD provided an opportunity today for me to talk with one of the elders of our church about our pastor. Some concerns he was able to alleviate, and others he acknowledged and said he'd look into further.

I give God the praise, because I was feeling very down about this. Sometimes when you don't know the full picture, it is easy to imagine the worst - in people's motives or actions. By talking with the elder, and from seeing the pastor at worship service today, I was assured that the pastor is *trying,* while at the same time I received confirmation that the board of elders shares some of my concerns. This particular elder will not drop the ball, either.

Thank you all again for your help!

 

[foundationguy]

Glad to hear God provided you an opportunity to discuss this. As a leader, I appreciate you seeking God's guidance as well as the counsel of others. Sometimes, people just start talking or confronting without praying through the issue and it causes unnecessary division in the body. Thanks for your heart for your pastor and your church.

 

[Artos]

Wonder if the church board would consider giving the pastor a few month's sabbatical leave...ie paid leave to be refreshed in the ministry? He does sound burned-out.
...

 

[Artos]

Found an interesting writeup about sabbaticals for pastors
http://www.elca.org/lp/sabplan.html
See if it might be of help to your pastor....

 

[Jenster]

Thank you, Artos. I appreciate your advice. The irony is that our pastor just came back from a sabbatical!

Sigh. I don't know what's going on with him. I acknowledge I don't have the full picture, but it's discouraging to me as a member of the church when I hear he either "doesn't want" to do something that arguably is part of his job, or I ask for feedback on a ministry event and get no response.

 

[Artos]

Oh gosh....He just came back from a sabbatical?! I guess He just needs fresh encounter with the Lord again. If you have church intercessors- maybe they would like to pray for him to have a tremendous hunger for more of the Lord....?

 

[Jenster]

That's a beautiful idea, Artos. Thanks. From time to time I have prayed for that for him. Um...not sure if anyone else was joining me, but I have to admit I slacked off there recently. It's hard to keep up sometimes.

But anyway, a fresh encounter with the LORD is what we all need! Yes! We need to be refreshed by His Holy Spirit. AMEN!