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Oh, yeah. Outside of this, really strong Christians, I think. You wouldn't believe the level we're involved with our church (I'm not a pastor or an elder, but we're up there). And, generally, when we talk, I think we're pretty good at communicating. That is, when I look around her need to know everything and she looks around my tendency to not pay close enough attention.MERCY@GRACE said:Wow-sounds like your wife is in the "emotionally high needs" category! How long have you been married and are you both christian?
Mr Wesley said:Oh, no. I am totally sure that they're not intentional. She's got a couple of severe manipulators in her family, and she's lived her whole life trying to not be like them. It just killed her in the past when I tried to explain things to her by comparing her to other family members.
Mr Wesley said:Oh, yeah. Outside of this, really strong Christians, I think. You wouldn't believe the level we're involved with our church (I'm not a pastor or an elder, but we're up there).
InTheFlame said:Yikes
OK, I suspect what you guys need is a few sessions with someone to guide you through conversations with each other, and help you work out a game plan for dealing with this problem together. Preferably a trained counsellor.
Your other option is reading books together or apart. I'd recommend practically anything by Drs Cloud and Townsend. They're christian psychologists (or psychiatrists? can't remember) with some fantastic insights on life and relationships. I'm reading God Can Make A Way atm, which might be a good start for you. Or Boundaries, or Boundaries in Marriage. Or Boundaries Face to Face - I haven't read this one but from what I've read it's about having difficult conversations with people, without attacking them or causing more problems.
Mr Wesley said:Any suggestions?
Oh, yeah. Outside of this, really strong Christians, I think. You wouldn't believe the level we're involved with our church (I'm not a pastor or an elder, but we're up there).